My boyfriend says he loved his ex more than he lovese now.

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Paigeeeeeee
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I've been together with my boyfriend for 2 years now. I'd say we're pretty serious with each other. He says he really loves me and i feel the same.Sometimes he mentions his ex who broke up with him without any solid reason (they dated 4 years ago) but i don't feel uncomfortable by it because i know he doesn't like her anymore. But a week ago, we were on a subject, and he told me that he loved her more than he loves me now.I don’t know if it’s stupid to be this upset, but I actually feel like my heart is broken. He told me that he has absolutely no feelings for her now but maintains he loved her more, but he still loves me. I understand that he set up a boundary so that he wouldn't get hurt again but as the day went on it just consumed me. I couldn’t stop crying.He told me that if we ever break up, he wouldn't cry over me because of the boundary that created itself after their breakup but maybe one day that boundary would break. This guy is wonderful, he's always there for me and i do not want to break up with him. What do i do to make myself feel better and make him cross that boundary?
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Napp
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It beggars belief he would willingly say that? Like what person thinks thats either a smart or sensitive thing to say?
Either way egregiously callous and uncalled for and you every right to feel hurt by that. If my partner said that to me i'd probably walk out the door.
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YaliaV123
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That’s a huge red flag and I would just end the relationship.
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1582
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(Original post by Paigeeeeeee)
What do i do to make myself feel better and make him cross that boundary?
In short: you can't.

These are just words. There isn't a physical wall there stopping him loving you. He just doesn't care for you that strongly - and if two years have passed and he still doesn't then he most likely never will. It sounds like your relationship has an expiry date.
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TheCFiles
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It sounds like he has some insecurity issues he needs to work through on his own. If I were you I'd end it. Clearly he's not invested in the relationship like you are.
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Dunnig Kruger
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That was a stupid thing for him to say.
Love comes in many different forms and he should have said that he had a different kind of love for his ex.

Do you know why his ex left him? Have you spoken to her about it? Do those same reasons still exist? And do they add up to it making sense for you to dump him because he's not good enough in certain areas?

Discuss this with your boyfriend. Get to the bottom of it. Establish whether he merely has a different kind of love with you. More comfortable love and less of an infatuation kind of love.

If his love for you is genuinely less strong, see if you can get him to articulate why. Tell him that it's open season on you and he can give you both barrels.
Listen to what he says, or doesn't say, and take things from there.

A relationship where one person has a weak form of love for the other is one that is built on quicksand foundations. It'll sink a lot quicker than Venice. Or it will carry on as a rotten fetid kind of relationship. It's no good if one person is yearning to be with someone else.
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