The Student Room Group

dating without parents knowing...

im 17 and my dad wont let me date (hes a muslim) i wouldnt care, but i dont want to hurt the family by a huge argument etc...
so i was just wondering if anyone has been out with anyone/dated without their parents knowing, and how they did/do it?
there isnt any guy in particular (Well, there was but he's not that interested anymore :\) im just wondering in general
any hints/tips?

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I'm also muslim and I've dated behind my parents back. But I started when I was 19 and at uni far away from my parents!

I wouldn't have done it while I was still living with my parents, as I honestly think it would have been to hard to cover up and I would be too scared of the consequences.

I'm sorry that's probably not very helpful.
I didn't tell my parents that I started dating but it's always obvious when I like someone so they always suspect anyway. My dad doesn't like my dating but my mom says it's better that I date and they know about it than me sneaking around so I'm good there. But I did hide a relationship from them for about three months until my mom found out about it and gave me a good talking to.
I think my parents are under the impression I';ve never even been kissed, never mind I've kissed (and done a bit more) 3 boys all behind their backs :rolleyes:
I was 16 when I had my first boyfriend and I kept it hidden from my parents though im not sure why. It was the summer after gcses and whenever I met him or went round his house I just said I was meeting my friend. I know they had suspisions, my dads receptionist saw me walking back from his which was quite far away and he asked where I was coming from. And they both though it was weird for me to be out with this friend all the time and she never came round here. They knew I was lying, but never said. I think they didnt want to embaress me. They also knew the guy, I used to work with him and he chatted to my mum quite regulary.
Its very devious though, and dangerous. But it does make it kind of exciting!

When I met my current boyfriend 2 years ago at 17 I told my family about him straight away, I decided no more lies.
I think people should only lie to their parents about seeing someone if their family is either strict or religious.
i never tell my parents

but after a month or so they normally figure it out, after the girls slept over our house a couple of times... although now i dont live at home, the only way they'll find out is facebook.

just dont tell them, dont obviously invite the other person round your house etc.
Reply 6
Do what you want to do. I'm a muslim and I would date even if parents said no. It's YOUR life not theirs.
i've done it, for years, my parents still think i'm a virgin :/
it's not the best idea, it can be pretty stressy and the web of lies required can be slightly confusing to keep up. are you 100% sure they won't let you date? it would probably be pretty bad if they found out.
i guess just if you are going out with a guy, tell them where/what you're doing but say you're doing it with your friends instead, that's what i did and they didn't ask many questions.
I'm good at dating without my dad knowing :biggrin:

As far as he is concerned I have not held hands with a boy...
I managed to hide it for less than a week- it made me really anxious and it wasn't fair on the poor guy I was hiding. Can't you talk to your father? Or wait until you go to uni? If you like someone a lot, it IS worth feeling nervous and doing a little bit of extra work to hide it, but if it's not absolutely necessary, I'd reccomend you don't go there.
Me and a friend both dated girls for years without our parents knowing... I was seeing a girl everyday for two years... Just act natural, avoid lying and stick to a regular pattern. If you're seeing your other half, say you're seeing a 'friend'. Don't tell anyone who knows your family... Not a good move. Avoid late night phone conversations (texts work best :wink:)...
Honesty is the best policy...although I don't know what your family traditions are.....it is better to be honest and introduce your parents to the boy concerned and fill them in as you go....if this is impossible then I'm sorry that you would have to lie, but honestly it is worth it....I never anticipated that I would fall in love as I have and stay with my current boyfriend (and the only serious one I've had) for four years but it just happened and he is everything to me and SO worth it :smile:
Big Kabz
Do what you want to do. I'm a muslim and I would date even if parents said no. It's YOUR life not theirs.

how can you say that?, this goes to every muslim here... if you have read the quran, it says you should respect your parents and definitely don't lie to them. You can't call yourself a muslim if you disrespect the quran as these are gods words. Muslims should never be in a relationship unless they are sure they are going to live with that person for the rest of their lives.
Don't tell!! It won't help you!! They will either try and make you get married or make you end it!!
Reply 14
I think this is usually an 'asian' (more south asian..pakistani,indian etc) issue probably due to culture.

But yeah I was in the same situation it was a bit difficult my boyfriend was white and his family knew about me but mien didn't know about him. But guess he kind of had to accept that. It was quite easy for me to hide it though because my parents aren't really strict in the sense of me going out socialising etc. It's just when it comes to 'dating'.
Reply 15
Have sex in their bed, they'll never suspect it!
Muslims should never be in a relationship unless they are sure they are going to live with that person for the rest of their lives.


How can you be sure if you never date them?
It's just a question...
There is no reason to tell them as its really none of their business. But its nice to tell them.
Natasha_P
I think this is usually an 'asian' (more south asian..pakistani,indian etc) issue probably due to culture.



its more of a pakistani/muslim issue. indian parents are fine with dating as long as its discrete.:yep:
I have a strict muslim Pakistani friend who is dating a white french girl and his family are cool with it!