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Couldn’t ejaculate in sex

I’m on antidepressants , sertaline 150mg so could that be causing it? Last night I had sex for the first time and no matter how hard I tried (I f*cked her twice), I couldn’t climax. She orgasmed, but I didn’t. The only way I did was when she gave me a bj. I feel embarrassed though she said she didn’t mind, I just feel like it’d be more enjoyable for me if I did . Any ideas how I can manage this? Thanks
Reply 1
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Original post by Anonymous
I’m on antidepressants , sertaline 150mg so could that be causing it? Last night I had sex for the first time and no matter how hard I tried (I f*cked her twice), I couldn’t climax. She orgasmed, but I didn’t. The only way I did was when she gave me a bj. I feel embarrassed though she said she didn’t mind, I just feel like it’d be more enjoyable for me if I did . Any ideas how I can manage this? Thanks

A known side effect of sertraline is delayed ejaculation. It is sometimes even prescribed to men who struggle with premature ejaculation. I would suggest discussing this with your doctor if you feel this is a side effect you are experiencing.

In the meantime, try not to be embarrassed by it. If this is someone you intend to sleep with again (e.g. a girlfriend as opposed to a one night stand) then discuss this with her and let her know that you think it may be caused by your medication. This way she knows to expect that it can take a while and she's less likely to worry or feel as if you don't find her attractive enough, which should also make it easier for you to relax - getting stressed over not finishing naturally delays climax further! That said, of course you could have just had first time jitters rather than it being down to your medication at all. Hopefully next time it'll go better!
Reply 3
Original post by 1582
A known side effect of sertraline is delayed ejaculation. It is sometimes even prescribed to men who struggle with premature ejaculation. I would suggest discussing this with your doctor if you feel this is a side effect you are experiencing.

In the meantime, try not to be embarrassed by it. If this is someone you intend to sleep with again (e.g. a girlfriend as opposed to a one night stand) then discuss this with her and let her know that you think it may be caused by your medication. This way she knows to expect that it can take a while and she's less likely to worry or feel as if you don't find her attractive enough, which should also make it easier for you to relax - getting stressed over not finishing naturally delays climax further! That said, of course you could have just had first time jitters rather than it being down to your medication at all. Hopefully next time it'll go better!

Thanks! It was a bit of a nightmare but a curse and a blessing because I think my condom failed the first time round. So I’m probably gonna try and get tested just in case but I think I’ll be good as it was only her second time. I’m worrying about that now as I can’t remember what exactly happened, to be honest we were both drunk and it was pitch black…it’s definitely not because I don’t find her attractive , I had a similar issue with my ex though i wasn’t on medication then ; also it wasn’t penetrative sex it was just a handjob and it was her first time giving it too, and after the first time I did it okay
Original post by TonyKhan
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Original post by Anonymous
Thanks! It was a bit of a nightmare but a curse and a blessing because I think my condom failed the first time round. So I’m probably gonna try and get tested just in case but I think I’ll be good as it was only her second time. I’m worrying about that now as I can’t remember what exactly happened, to be honest we were both drunk and it was pitch black…it’s definitely not because I don’t find her attractive , I had a similar issue with my ex though i wasn’t on medication then ; also it wasn’t penetrative sex it was just a handjob and it was her first time giving it too, and after the first time I did it okay


She should also get tested, including for pregnancy. Sometimes a guy can leak a little bit even well before ejaculation and it IS possible to get pregnant from that. This is part of why the pull-out method is so unreliable.
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks! It was a bit of a nightmare but a curse and a blessing because I think my condom failed the first time round. So I’m probably gonna try and get tested just in case but I think I’ll be good as it was only her second time. I’m worrying about that now as I can’t remember what exactly happened, to be honest we were both drunk and it was pitch black…it’s definitely not because I don’t find her attractive , I had a similar issue with my ex though i wasn’t on medication then ; also it wasn’t penetrative sex it was just a handjob and it was her first time giving it too, and after the first time I did it okay

Oh, and you might be more able to ejaculate if you were sober. It's something to try at any rate :smile: But one way or another if you just let your partner know in advance it shouldn't be a problem and it's nothing to be embarrassed about!
Reply 7
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
She should also get tested, including for pregnancy. Sometimes a guy can leak a little bit even well before ejaculation and it IS possible to get pregnant from that. This is part of why the pull-out method is so unreliable.

I spoke to her about it and she's not particuarly worried about the whole condom situation and also says she's on the pill. The thing that probably scared me the most at the time was there was blood ont he condom i thought it was mine at first but apparently she literally started her period then? Like i never heard of this but she's reassured me thats what it was. Should I get tested, and if so where can I go? The GP on campus?
Reply 8
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
Oh, and you might be more able to ejaculate if you were sober. It's something to try at any rate :smile: But one way or another if you just let your partner know in advance it shouldn't be a problem and it's nothing to be embarrassed about!

Ah yeah that too, tbh i didn't plan for it to happen at all and neither did she probably, we got drunk , its experience either way
Original post by Anonymous
I spoke to her about it and she's not particuarly worried about the whole condom situation and also says she's on the pill. The thing that probably scared me the most at the time was there was blood ont he condom i thought it was mine at first but apparently she literally started her period then? Like i never heard of this but she's reassured me thats what it was. Should I get tested, and if so where can I go? The GP on campus?

If she's on the pill anyway that's a relief. The GP on campus would be a good place to start. You could also google for sexual health centres near you.
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
If she's on the pill anyway that's a relief. The GP on campus would be a good place to start. You could also google for sexual health centres near you.

I think we might sleep together again tonight. Is there any advice you can give regards to penetration? Often I tried to get my **** in her vagina and I'd find it awkward to like get close enough for it to fit in, and it would slip out even when erect.
Original post by Anonymous
I think we might sleep together again tonight. Is there any advice you can give regards to penetration? Often I tried to get my **** in her vagina and I'd find it awkward to like get close enough for it to fit in, and it would slip out even when erect.

Sorta hard for me to say tbh. Just try different positions until you find one that works well for you both. Have fun :smile:
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
Sorta hard for me to say tbh. Just try different positions until you find one that works well for you both. Have fun :smile:

Okay so I've tried since htat night and I haven't even been able to get my c*ck insiode of her. I feel totally embarassed, and last night she just said she "wasnt in the mood" the second time i tried to get my condom to fit, she said it wasnt my fault though she just felt ill from being totally legless the night before. I feel really embarassed like its been difficult sometimes to get an erection,. i was ready to go i was hard but she wasn't wet enough, then by the time she was, i had lost my erection...i feel like ive blown it with her and ive tried idfferent condoms etc and none still seem to fit! only thing i can think of is a bigger condom, ive been told i need a bigger/wider one and ive also been told i need a smaller/narrower one so ive got no idea...

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