Anonymous #1
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I’ve decided I want to take my hijab off but of course after years of wearing it, it’s gonna be hard to tell my parents, family and community. My mom is very judgmental towards women who don’t wear hijab so I can’t imagine what’d she say if i took it off. Do you think I should wait till I move out for uni (next year) to take it off and just not tell her? Any advice appreciated

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Wired_1800
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#2
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I think you should wait until you move out.
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Ht_445
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sister please wait. please talk
to me before taking it off maybe i can guide you or help you please don’t make any decisions yet
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Aiman_0
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As you said you’ve been wearing it for a long time. Did you start it because of family pressure or your personal choice? What is making you want to take it off now? If you don’t mind I’m just asking you these questions to understand the situation and give you answer to what I would do in a situation like that.
Last edited by Aiman_0; 4 weeks ago
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve decided I want to take my hijab off but of course after years of wearing it, it’s gonna be hard to tell my parents, family and community. My mom is very judgmental towards women who don’t wear hijab so I can’t imagine what’d she say if i took it off. Do you think I should wait till I move out for uni (next year) to take it off and just not tell her? Any advice appreciated
Suggestion 1:
To avoid the hassle of arguments and ruin your relationship, I suggest you wait till you move out for University.

Suggestion 2:
Are you doing a respectable degree that'll make them proud something health related at University?
Do you suspect your parents will think you are changing because of University? So I'm thinking maybe do it now then so it's not a complete shock and you don't have to justify but if you won't be seeing them often when you move out for University then yes do it after University....

Also, try to think why did you start to wear it? Was it your own choice? With Hijab it's complete down to you when you feel ready so when you feel it's the right time in the future just put it back on until them I don't feel anyone should wear it without having intentions to wear it for the right reasons...
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Suggestion 1:
To avoid the hassle of arguments and ruin your relationship, I suggest you wait till you move out for University.

Suggestion 2:
Are you doing a respectable degree that'll make them proud something health related at University?
Do you suspect your parents will think you are changing because of University? So I'm thinking maybe do it now then so it's not a complete shock and you don't have to justify but if you won't be seeing them often when you move out for University then yes do it after University....

Also, try to think why did you start to wear it? Was it your own choice? With Hijab it's complete down to you when you feel ready so when you feel it's the right time in the future just put it back on until them I don't feel anyone should wear it without having intentions to wear it for the right reasons...
i’ll be studying biochemistry at Imperial college london so i think thats respectable. And yes my mom already has concerns about me ‘following the bad crowd’ when I go to university so taking it off would definitely shock her more if i did it after moving out.
Yes exactly! It was never a choice for me, i just started wearing it at a very young age without ever knowing why
Thank you for this reply
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Aiman_0)
As you said you’ve been wearing it for a long time. Did you start it because of family pressure or your personal choice? What is making you want to take it off now? If you don’t mind I’m just asking you these questions to understand the situation and give you answer to what I would do in a situation like that.
I started at about 7 years old just because my parents expected me to. I never knew why i was really wearing it. I want to take it off because there’s no point facing challenges of wearing a hijab if i’m wearing it for the wrong reasons. This might sound silly but I also feel less confident in a hijab and as if i’m not as beautiful. Also sometimes i feel like it stops me from making as many friends and being as social as I’d like to be
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Ht_445)
sister please wait. please talk
to me before taking it off maybe i can guide you or help you please don’t make any decisions yet
Hi if u read my other replies maybe u can understand
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi if u read my other replies maybe u can understand
so would you say you don’t believe in islam anymore or what? if your not sure why to wear it research that. of course hijab may make you look “less pretty “ but it means you’ll attract people who love you for you like a future husband and not for your body etc i’m not a expert so research this more but me personally i appreciate modesty and the challenges muslim woman go through
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
so would you say you don’t believe in islam anymore or what? if your not sure why to wear it research that. of course hijab may make you look “less pretty “ but it means you’ll attract people who love you for you like a future husband and not for your body etc i’m not a expert so research this more but me personally i appreciate modesty and the challenges muslim woman go through
No i still believe in Islam and always will. Yes ur right about the attraction part, but tbh im only 18 and not looking for a husband or relationship lol
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londonmyst
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Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you.
My best friend was born in India and her family are followers of the liberal islamic sect led by the aga khan.
She, her mother and grandmother have never worn religious head coverings.

You have the freedom to decide on your clothing, religious beliefs, lifestyle and the direction of your future.
Put your health and safety first.
If there is a serious risk that your parents will become hostile towards you or try to force you to continue wearing it, best to wait until you have moved out for uni and have access to an external support system & alternative accomodation.
Good luck!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by londonmyst)
Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you.
My best friend was born in India and her family are followers of the liberal islamic sect led by the aga khan.
She, her mother and grandmother have never worn religious head coverings.

You have the freedom to decide on your clothing, religious beliefs, lifestyle and the direction of your future.
Put your health and safety first.
If there is a serious risk that your parents will become hostile towards you or try to force you to continue wearing it, best to wait until you have moved out for uni and have access to an external support system & alternative accomodation.
Good luck!
Thank you!!
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Htx_x346
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In an ideal world I'd say 'Just take it of if you want to'. But to avoid family drama it's probably best to wait till you move out/ go to uni. xx
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Htx_x346)
In an ideal world I'd say 'Just take it of if you want to'. But to avoid family drama it's probably best to wait till you move out/ go to uni. xx
Yeah lol wish i had that confidence and bravery :/ thanks <3
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tayyyphil
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why not try wearing it in a different style??
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Milky1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah lol wish i had that confidence and bravery :/ thanks <3
PM me sis
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DJAymoon
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Hijab although necessary it is up to the womans choice to whether wear it or not, Ive known women to took of the hijab at a point in their lives but have brought it back much later. Of course everyone is different as long as you keep your deen strong thats all that matters.
about your parents
Have a talk with them about your idea (if they are understanding)
but talk with your mother first as she shares your experience of wearing the hijab, and tell her about the reason you wanted to remove the hijab and how did you come to this reason
also give her proof that you will still keep your faith strong as thats the most common preconception (hijab taken off = drifting away from islam) and then talk with both your father and mother
If in case they might be strict
I recommend you to wait until you go to university and have your own accomodation where you can be a little more independent then have this talk with them
But above all always respect them and whether they get angry or not i hope its all because they care about you and are worried you might drift away.
Then again you are an adult and should be able to make your own decisions.
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Lucifer323
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve decided I want to take my hijab off but of course after years of wearing it, it’s gonna be hard to tell my parents, family and community. My mom is very judgmental towards women who don’t wear hijab so I can’t imagine what’d she say if i took it off. Do you think I should wait till I move out for uni (next year) to take it off and just not tell her? Any advice appreciated
It's wise if you wait for a little while until you move out for Uni so not to have friction with members of your family. However if you are determined to have friction with your family then by all means you can take it off and never wear it again.

The hijab just like the burqa are symbols of religious oppression against women regardless of what other users may say here.
I don't know however how you feel about it or how your feel about religion altogether.

Well done for receiving an offer for Biochemistry at Imperial College London.
This is one of the best places you can study. I know it well as I have spent years studying at Imperial.

One last comment. Science and religion are not compatible with each other.
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NowAndThen
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Historically, many didn't. Even now, many don't. Did it affect their faith?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It's a sign of oppressions. Better take it off and also leave Islam if possible.
(Original post by Lucifer323)
It's wise if you wait for a little while until you move out for Uni so not to have friction with members of your family. However if you are determined to have friction with your family then by all means you can take it off and never wear it again.

The hijab just like the burqa are symbols of religious oppression against women regardless of what other users may say here.
I don't know however how you feel about it or how your feel about religion altogether.

Well done for receiving an offer for Biochemistry at Imperial College London.
This is one of the best places you can study. I know it well as I have spent years studying at Imperial.

One last comment. Science and religion are not compatible with each other.
I disagree with most of what u said. The hijab is not a symbol of oppression. Although there may be cultures that pressure it on women, it is a choice. Also science and religion are of course compatible since they back each other up. But that shouldnt matter anyway since i’m only studying biochemistry not philosophy or cosmology lol
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