humungous life update! (because I had a system meltdown and went AWOL for three weeks to try to reform my brain from its mush) hey guys….. so this is
kinda awkward, but I’m back lol!
<< me trying to come back without you guys noticing lmao
As you may or may not have noticed, I was gone for 3/4 weeks…
0 posts, 0 updates, 0 replies to anyone, 0 interaction.
zero.
To be honest, this took even me by surprise, as I had been so consistent with blogging (
for the most part) and was really starting to get into the flow of things. I love pouring my thoughts into this blog and speaking with you guys
. I love editing the text, making it
bigger,
smaller,
bolder, and then scrolling through the emoticons before using outrageous amounts of them haha
I love it all. Starting this blog has been nothing but a positive experience for me thus far (I mean, obviously it takes up time, but that hasn’t been something that’s an issue, because I’ve managed to cope with good time management.) so
how could I just shut down and stop posting?I
don’t have a concrete answer for that, but I think it was just a
severe case of burnout
. Towards the end of the half term, I was feeling
SO drained
.
So drained and tired and emotionally fragile. All the tests, the homework, the new content that’s fumbling my brain….
It made me freak out and abandon ship last minute. That’s why I didn’t give any mid-week updates during the week before the half-term. I was so tired and ready for it to be over. And that’s why I further didn’t give any updates during the half-term. I wanted to rest. I couldn’t find the energy to get up, grab my laptop and type.
now I’m typing away, so I guess I’ve exited my slump (probably because I’m back in school mode and mocks are in less than a week, so I have to be on top of my game), but that’s the explanation for my disappearance. I’m really sorry it happened, especially during half term when I would have had so many opportunities to talk to and engage with you guys, and post pictures of revision, and give updates on my confidence in certain topics and towards mocks in general, but I can assure you, another hiatus is not something that will happen again. thank you for sticking around <3
now, I’m going to tell you about what you missed the week prior to the half-term, and about what I actually did in the half term.
the week prior to half-termI can't really recall what happened that week, so I’ll only tell you the important bits.
I got two test results back!!!! physics and my maths proof test
maths:I was (and still am) so so happy with this score
, because maths is usually a subject I struggle immensely with
, so I usually come out of most tests (even if they’re only unit tests) expecting low confidence and 50% if it was a good day. granted, this is only a topic test, and so it doesn’t completely reflect my maths skills in general, BUT….. baby steps.
it’s something. I can do
something. and I’m going to use that
something to motivate me to try harder in maths because maybe I don’t completely suck, and maybe I’d find things easier if I didn’t give up before I started.
physicsalso really proud of this! physics is deffo my least favourite of the sciences (it’s not bad, just a bit more maths-y than I’d like, and we’ve already established I hate maths lmao), so this score kind of took me aback but in the best way possible
Not much else to say about that haha.
half termI did
nothing. literally nothing. no homework, no revision.
nothing.
(for the reasons I mentioned earlier)
I tried not to beat myself up about it because doing nothing got me some much-needed rest in time for the fortnight before mocks, where I could really focus my concentration and energy, but it was still disappointing.
I was able to make progress with my drama portfolio though (
God, I have so much to update you on regarding drama) and also (almost) finish my HPQ essay on how the sociology of race and science intersect if they do at all.
but that’s it in terms of the half term!
mocksso now,
how do I feel about mocks? that’s a great question! well frankly, not as worried as I feel I should be.
obviously, I shouldn’t be stressed or worried over mocks, but for some reason, I’ve got total apathy to the fact that they begin in a few days. on Monday. it’s surreal.
maybe my brain hasn’t processed the fact that these are actually my mocks and not just another classroom assessment.
I don’t feel like I
don’t have enough revision time, which is funny (
not funny at all, actually) because I’ve barely revised and more time to do so would be ideal to compensate, and I'm also not worried about content for any subjects (except maths, obviously, which I’m feeling better about than I expected I would considering my utter hatred and confusion towards the subject).
I reckon this attitude of mine is because I’m so used to barely revising before a test, most times literally just flicking through notes beforehand, and getting good enough/high grades. this is a
really bad habit though. definitely something I need to break out of before my GCSEs
we’ve been given topic lists for most subjects and they seem
completely attainable??? most are topics I’m generally fine with, and the others just need to be refreshed in my mind. I'll be working on consolidating any rough patches over the weekend.
anyways, moving on...
the revision timetable
didn't end up working lol
it just wasn't practical for me </3
I'm sure if I had made it, I would have followed it, as having a structured say really helps me be productive, but the time that would be taken to make one just isn't something that seemed worth it to me.
I'm just revising day-by-day based on the subjects I struggle most with, and the order of my exams. I do make daily timetable-ish, to-do list thingy that structures my day and motivates me, as a rough gameplan is always useful for somebody who can't be left to her own devices without ending up in bed with snacks
and binging a Netflix series (I have
no self-control if you didn't notice lol).
I've been getting on well with Tassomai! I haven't been able to do it
everyday, but it's been a great source of constant daily revision for me, even if it's only for 15/20 minutes
lastly, here's my mocks timetable:
IT'S SO ANNOYING????? ENGLISH LIT FIRST????? I KNOW I REGARD ENGLISH AS ONE OF MY STRONGER SUBJECTS, BUT STILL????? 3 HARD TESTS ON THE SECOND DAY????? AND BIOLOGY FIRST PERIOD ON WEDNESDAY????? WHY COULDN'T THEY HAVE PUT IT LATER????? THERE AREN'T ANY OTHER EXAMS THAT DAY?????yeah idk what I'm going to do, to be honest. I know I said I wasn't as worried I think I should be for mocks, which is still kind of true, but this configuration of exams is really making me freak out.
there's nothing to be done about it though, so I can only go into those exams and try my best.
....safe to say I won't be getting
any sleep this weekend
okay well, that's it for now, so thanks for sticking around, thanks for supporting me, thanks for reading this insanely long post, thanks for everything <333
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