not moving past talking stage

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
Nearly 22. Seeing eveyone around me get into relationships even my shy friends. Everyones had some sort of experience. Im just stuck here not finding anyone good enough. my expectations are not even that high. Just someone good looking with a fun kind personality who is serious about me. It looks like its easy for everyone but for me i have bad luck. Anyone else in the same boat?
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Nearly 22. Seeing eveyone around me get into relationships even my shy friends. Everyones had some sort of experience. Im just stuck here not finding anyone good enough. my expectations are not even that high. Just someone good looking with a fun kind personality who is serious about me. It looks like its easy for everyone but for me i have bad luck. Anyone else in the same boat?
I’m in the same boat, I can’t seem to get past the talking stage either. Never had my first kiss or anything like that. It sucks especially when everyone around you is getting into a relationship
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m in the same boat, I can’t seem to get past the talking stage either. Never had my first kiss or anything like that. It sucks especially when everyone around you is getting into a relationship
how old are you if you dont mind and are you a girl or boy x
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
how old are you if you dont mind and are you a girl or boy x
I’m 18 and a girl
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Surnia
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In what context are you talking? If it's face to face and out over coffee or dinner, it's a date. If not, then what is stopping you meeting up with someone?
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asif007
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Nearly 22. Seeing eveyone around me get into relationships even my shy friends. Everyones had some sort of experience. Im just stuck here not finding anyone good enough. my expectations are not even that high. Just someone good looking with a fun kind personality who is serious about me. It looks like its easy for everyone but for me i have bad luck. Anyone else in the same boat?
Are you male or female?
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Anonymous #3
#7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Nearly 22. Seeing eveyone around me get into relationships even my shy friends. Everyones had some sort of experience. Im just stuck here not finding anyone good enough. my expectations are not even that high. Just someone good looking with a fun kind personality who is serious about me. It looks like its easy for everyone but for me i have bad luck. Anyone else in the same boat?
Lmao, I’m 21 and in the same boat too
At this point I’m officially done and refuse to have any more talking stages they can come and find me , if the aim isn’t marriage its nothing
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
In what context are you talking? If it's face to face and out over coffee or dinner, it's a date. If not, then what is stopping you meeting up with someone?
Online talking stages. Hard to meet people in the real world. I'll only meet up if theyre worth it. I was suppose to meet up with 2 however one was giving the worst replies and there was a limit i ahd reached, another wanted things I didnt want.
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Anonymous #1
#9
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Lmao, I’m 21 and in the same boat too
At this point I’m officially done and refuse to have any more talking stages they can come and find me , if the aim isn’t marriage its nothing
omg sameee. i need the aim to be marriage but these men want other things. Have you every been with anyone and where have you had these talking stages? and what goes wrong in the talking stages for you?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by asif007)
Are you male or female?
female
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LittleBear04
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#11
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(Original post by Anonymous)
omg sameee. i need the aim to be marriage but these men want other things. Have you every been with anyone and where have you had these talking stages? and what goes wrong in the talking stages for you?
Try meeting likeminded people through friends or societies, join a new club. Don't rely solely on online dating, as in most cases people have limited success.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by LittleBear04)
Try meeting likeminded people through friends or societies, join a new club. Don't rely solely on online dating, as in most cases people have limited success.
thats very hard for me as my friends dont have guy friends etc and im an adult so joining clubs isnt my thing.
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Moonlight Rain
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Yea it's hard
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Anonymous #3
#14
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(Original post by Anonymous)
omg sameee. i need the aim to be marriage but these men want other things. Have you every been with anyone and where have you had these talking stages? and what goes wrong in the talking stages for you?
No not a relationship although i could have but I’m so glad I didn’t because i just want to and will wait for the right one and not rush into anything but yes I’ve had talking stages i had one that lasted 6 months, don’t ask me why i wasted my time , god knows lol idk myself😭but the rest weren’t long i cut ppl off when i sense or see the first red flag☺️ and alot of their intentions aren’t pure and personalities don’t match, or they’re boring, like we can’t vibe so whats the pointttt, how about yourself??

Don’t settle for less girl🙌
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
No not a relationship although i could have but I’m so glad I didn’t because i just want to and will wait for the right one and not rush into anything but yes I’ve had talking stages i had one that lasted 6 months, don’t ask me why i wasted my time , god knows lol idk myself😭but the rest weren’t long i cut ppl off when i sense or see the first red flag☺️ and alot of their intentions aren’t pure and personalities don’t match, or they’re boring, like we can’t vibe so whats the pointttt, how about yourself??

Don’t settle for less girl🙌
oh same with me. Were these all online? with me theyll either lose interest, be boring, i wont be as attracted to them, theyll be too sexual and the list goes on. At some points I was so down bad that id still be chatting to these guys even after them leaving me on delivered for days at a time. I would do the same until I realised im not a fool. Now I have realised my worth after going through all these talking stages. I will ignore them if they do that now because if he wanted to he would. Live by that lol. I did come across a guy and we vibed so well it was too good to be true, I found him so attractive but then his vibe suddenly changed and he unadded me lol. Havent recovered fully from that haha because we got on so well and the convo just flowed. With the talking stage that lasted six months what happened there? was it online did you meet up?
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asif007
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(Original post by Anonymous)
female
OK then let me tell you a little bit about men on online dating apps. I don't know which apps you're using - maybe it's Tinder, maybe not. You're looking for marriage whereas men on dating apps will be looking for hookups first and not necessarily commitment. This is why I always tell people not to go on dating apps looking for serious relationships - because the majority of people on there are not looking for serious. When you talk to men online and they get the impression that you're playing games or you're gonna make him work hard just to get a date with you - they lose interest and stop messaging you. You have admitted that you will "only meet up if it's worth it" thereby sabotaging your own chances. You're looking in the wrong place - that's the first issue.

The second issue is that what you're looking for (marriage) requires dedication and compatibility. When you immediately dismiss all these men for whatever reason because they don't seem "worth it" then you will only prevent yourself from getting to know anyone better. I think most men would agree with me that women on online dating apps have much less patience than men do, they will stop replying much earlier or sometimes not reply at all. "Failed talking stages" and so many of them - all this tells me is that you do not have the patience to talk to the guys you match with, despite looking for a serious relationship that needs patience. It's also well-proven that women your age, presumably attractive and single have many more options online than men do. Most dating apps are heavily weighted in favour of women while men have to work much harder to get any kind of enthusiastic response from women. You say that the men you're talking to have stopped replying quickly when this is not typically what men do. Either you're only matching with pre-selected attractive men who have lots of options themselves, or you're putting marriage boundaries up to guys who are only looking for sex, or you're not putting in the effort to reply to guys because they don't seem "worth it" to you. If I were in your position, I would also look at your own responses and see how you're coming across. If you're just giving one-word answers and you're difficult to talk to, obviously guys won't reply. "Talking stages" are two-way streets - don't immediately blame it on bad luck. If things aren't going well, maybe it's time to take a break from online dating, do some introspection and work out how to improve your game. Girls that struggle on Tinder (however infrequently) have to do some self-improvement just as much as guys do.
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Anonymous #3
#17
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(Original post by Anonymous)
oh same with me. Were these all online? with me theyll either lose interest, be boring, i wont be as attracted to them, theyll be too sexual and the list goes on. At some points I was so down bad that id still be chatting to these guys even after them leaving me on delivered for days at a time. I would do the same until I realised im not a fool. Now I have realised my worth after going through all these talking stages. I will ignore them if they do that now because if he wanted to he would. Live by that lol. I did come across a guy and we vibed so well it was too good to be true, I found him so attractive but then his vibe suddenly changed and he unadded me lol. Havent recovered fully from that haha because we got on so well and the convo just flowed. With the talking stage that lasted six months what happened there? was it online did you meet up?
Yeah online, and like one from work which was awks afterwards because we would’ve remained good work friends. I’ve learnt that its better to be friends and casual talk and then see where things go don’t rush into anything immediately and exactly many guys even girls ( for the guys) get too sexual and I cba in wasting time temporarily and messing about and they don’t get the hint so all you can do is cut them off lol if they can’t be serious and meet your requirements . Also, hahah nooo girl if they leave you on delivered and decide to reply to you after days don’t even leave them on delivered leave them on read 😅! Moretime some of these type of guys have other girls and keep you as a back up as the “ good girl” or definitely be talking to several others. You will know a guy is serious from the start by his intentions , but so far I don’t be seeing noone yet lol and yes exactly if he wanted to he would and that’s the worst that’s why don’t get too attached from the start and keep it flowing, Like i wanna make the guy my “ bestfriend” then get married ygm but not friendzone him do you get me?? And no we didn’t meet in rl, but I’m the one who ended it but he wanted it to work but his intentions were different he wanted to do things etc and he got annoying like we weren’t on the same page and he was forcefully trying to make it work lol , like after a while it was like his mindset completely changed from how it was at the start, so glad i didn’t meet him. I got saved lol
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Anonymous #1
#18
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(Original post by asif007)
OK then let me tell you a little bit about men on online dating apps. I don't know which apps you're using - maybe it's Tinder, maybe not. You're looking for marriage whereas men on dating apps will be looking for hookups first and not necessarily commitment. This is why I always tell people not to go on dating apps looking for serious relationships - because the majority of people on there are not looking for serious. When you talk to men online and they get the impression that you're playing games or you're gonna make him work hard just to get a date with you - they lose interest and stop messaging you. You have admitted that you will "only meet up if it's worth it" thereby sabotaging your own chances. You're looking in the wrong place - that's the first issue.

The second issue is that what you're looking for (marriage) requires dedication and compatibility. When you immediately dismiss all these men for whatever reason because they don't seem "worth it" then you will only prevent yourself from getting to know anyone better. I think most men would agree with me that women on online dating apps have much less patience than men do, they will stop replying much earlier or sometimes not reply at all. "Failed talking stages" and so many of them - all this tells me is that you do not have the patience to talk to the guys you match with, despite looking for a serious relationship that needs patience. It's also well-proven that women your age, presumably attractive and single have many more options online than men do. Most dating apps are heavily weighted in favour of women while men have to work much harder to get any kind of enthusiastic response from women. You say that the men you're talking to have stopped replying quickly when this is not typically what men do. Either you're only matching with pre-selected attractive men who have lots of options themselves, or you're putting marriage boundaries up to guys who are only looking for sex, or you're not putting in the effort to reply to guys because they don't seem "worth it" to you. If I were in your position, I would also look at your own responses and see how you're coming across. If you're just giving one-word answers and you're difficult to talk to, obviously guys won't reply. "Talking stages" are two-way streets - don't immediately blame it on bad luck. If things aren't going well, maybe it's time to take a break from online dating, do some introspection and work out how to improve your game. Girls that struggle on Tinder (however infrequently) have to do some self-improvement just as much as guys do.
ok so the app that im using is intended is not tinder its more of a serious one where people look for stuff long term and yes a lot of them are not serious and because they know what kind of app we're on they tend to ask if im looking for something serious or for fun. Then of course theyll leave me alone. Others who seem to be serious (of course you can never know for sure) will talk and then randomly ghost. I dont give one word answers I actually have a proper conversation and I know how boring girls can be and I personally dont think thats the case. When I say theyre not worth it its because they give me late late replies, dont have proper conversations, too sexual et etc. I only looked online because in real life i dont know where to meet guys or even how. I dont go out a lot and if i do I dont get approached, I just get stared at and I defintely am not the type ot approach anyone
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah online, and like one from work which was awks afterwards because we would’ve remained good work friends. I’ve learnt that its better to be friends and casual talk and then see where things go don’t rush into anything immediately and exactly many guys even girls ( for the guys) get too sexual and I cba in wasting time temporarily and messing about and they don’t get the hint so all you can do is cut them off lol if they can’t be serious and meet your requirements . Also, hahah nooo girl if they leave you on delivered and decide to reply to you after days don’t even leave them on delivered leave them on read 😅! Moretime some of these type of guys have other girls and keep you as a back up as the “ good girl” or definitely be talking to several others. You will know a guy is serious from the start by his intentions , but so far I don’t be seeing noone yet lol and yes exactly if he wanted to he would and that’s the worst that’s why don’t get too attached from the start and keep it flowing, Like i wanna make the guy my “ bestfriend” then get married ygm but not friendzone him do you get me?? And no we didn’t meet in rl, but I’m the one who ended it but he wanted it to work but his intentions were different he wanted to do things etc and he got annoying like we weren’t on the same page and he was forcefully trying to make it work lol , like after a while it was like his mindset completely changed from how it was at the start, so glad i didn’t meet him. I got saved lol
oo I understand. Are you religious? And yess now i have been leaving them on read ahah. Done that to quite a few now. And thats good you ended it, next time dont let it go on for that long lol. And exactly the same I want to find a best friend and get married later on.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
oo I understand. Are you religious? And yess now i have been leaving them on read ahah. Done that to quite a few now. And thats good you ended it, next time dont let it go on for that long lol. And exactly the same I want to find a best friend and get married later on.
I wouldn’t say super religious but I don’t party, go out with boys, dress indecent, stuff like that like i know my limits and boundaries so like average? You? Hahah there won’t be a next time for that long
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