Feel like my bf isn’t there for me anymore

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Anonymous #1
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Been together 3 years. At the beginning he was super loving & caring, I was too. We’ve had our difficulties recently and have nearly broken up on one occasion.

Anyway recently I had a bad fall one day outdoors. The night before we didn’t say good nights as normal..we were both a bit off. After my fall, I messaged him to tell him I’d fallen.. that was the first contact we had that day. He didn’t respond (usually when we message good morning he responds within the half hour) and it had been an hour. Then I rang him when I was in a&e and he picked up and was shocked I was in a&e and was asking questions, he was genuinely concerned. I hung up because it annoyed ne that he didn’t have time to reply to my message.

He kept saying he didn’t see my message, but it had literally been one hour. Usually he replies back 30 mins later in the morning. I feel like he might not have contacted me because he thought I was dramatising, that it wasn’t as bad as it was or something, or out of spite. However he’s adamant that he didn’t see it and he only saw it after our call.

He told me that if it was that urgent I should’ve called. I don’t feel the blame should be put on me for this tho. Am I overreacting?
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HoldThisL
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(Original post by Anonymous)
He didn’t respond (usually when we message good morning he responds within the half hour) and it had been an hour. Then I rang him when I was in a&e and he picked up and was shocked I was in a&e and was asking questions, he was genuinely concerned. I hung up because it annoyed ne that he didn’t have time to reply to my message.

He kept saying he didn’t see my message, but it had literally been one hour.
hanging up after he, by your own admission, showed genuine concern is a bit like biting the hand that feeds you. an hour, really? yes i definitely think you overreacted

even if he did see it, a message is just a message when the two of you are upset with each other
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by HoldThisL)
hanging up after he, by your own admission, showed genuine concern is a bit like biting the hand that feeds you. an hour, really? yes i definitely think you overreacted

even if he did see it, a message is just a message when the two of you are upset with each other
Yeah but I kind of felt that if we were fine the night before he would’ve messaged/ called wuickly. So it wasn’t fair on me. Then after he kept telling me it wasn’t bad and I’m like a kid … even though I had bad damage
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HoldThisL
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah but I kind of felt that if we were fine the night before he would’ve messaged/ called wuickly. So it wasn’t fair on me.
any upset that you've not sorted out before you go to sleep is on both of you
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CosmicApathy1
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You’re angry because your BF doesn’t live on his phone?
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InfiniteWill
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Been together 3 years. At the beginning he was super loving & caring, I was too. We’ve had our difficulties recently and have nearly broken up on one occasion.

Anyway recently I had a bad fall one day outdoors. The night before we didn’t say good nights as normal..we were both a bit off. After my fall, I messaged him to tell him I’d fallen.. that was the first contact we had that day. He didn’t respond (usually when we message good morning he responds within the half hour) and it had been an hour. Then I rang him when I was in a&e and he picked up and was shocked I was in a&e and was asking questions, he was genuinely concerned. I hung up because it annoyed ne that he didn’t have time to reply to my message.

He kept saying he didn’t see my message, but it had literally been one hour. Usually he replies back 30 mins later in the morning. I feel like he might not have contacted me because he thought I was dramatising, that it wasn’t as bad as it was or something, or out of spite. However he’s adamant that he didn’t see it and he only saw it after our call.

He told me that if it was that urgent I should’ve called. I don’t feel the blame should be put on me for this tho. Am I overreacting?
Deffo overreacting imo. Yes he may be consistent with 30mins reply, but maybe that particular day he may have had something to do.. or paid a little less attention to his phone. You should always understand your S.O's situation instead of making your own assumptions
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by InfiniteWill)
Deffo overreacting imo. Yes he may be consistent with 30mins reply, but maybe that particular day he may have had something to do.. or paid a little less attention to his phone. You should always understand your S.O's situation instead of making your own assumptions
He said he was getting ready but usually doesn’t take that long. I just know that if we were fine the night before he would’ve contacted me sooner and that’s not fair
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by CosmicApathy1)
You’re angry because your BF doesn’t live on his phone?
No its because he normally does, and I’m sure he would’ve seen my message but chosen to not respond right away
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Anonymous #1
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Bump
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Anonymous #1
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??
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InfiniteWill
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(Original post by Anonymous)
He said he was getting ready but usually doesn’t take that long. I just know that if we were fine the night before he would’ve contacted me sooner and that’s not fair
see that is your assumption.. thinking that every time he would have contacted you sooner.

Sometimes **** happens.. maybe his mental health wasn't good or some **** that caused him to check later.. or maybe he was a little tired of you/everyone and just wanted some peace.. he ain't a robot to be responding to you real quick..
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by InfiniteWill)
see that is your assumption.. thinking that every time he would have contacted you sooner.

Sometimes **** happens.. maybe his mental health wasn't good or some **** that caused him to check later.. or maybe he was a little tired of you/everyone and just wanted some peace.. he ain't a robot to be responding to you real quick..
I messaged him ‘I’ve just fallen’… I would expect my bf to be there in times of need?
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InfiniteWill
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I messaged him ‘I’ve just fallen’… I would expect my bf to be there in times of need?
Tbh that message doesn’t have enough clarity to what you mean … or how serious it is.

You fail to understand he also has a life to live and some of it doesn’t revolve around youu. Tbh 1h reply time is good enough… idk why you complaining…
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by InfiniteWill)
Tbh that message doesn’t have enough clarity to what you mean … or how serious it is.

You fail to understand he also has a life to live and some of it doesn’t revolve around youu. Tbh 1h reply time is good enough… idk why you complaining…
How do I know he would’ve replied if I Hadn’t rang him?
It was bad as I hit my head hard and my shoulder, knee and had to get x rays
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Soontobesuper
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Yes but Ihe may not know that from the text, he wouldnt of known you were in A&E.

Some times my ex would take 6 hours to reply, sometimes 6 minuets. Theres a variety of reasons that he didnt reply as quickly as he usually does, the important thing is that he showed care and attention when you rang him.
anyway, its passed and you should move on and not hold it against him. It was once incident and being hung up on it isnt good for the relationship.
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1582
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Yes, you're overreacting. It had only been an hour. It is completely reasonable that he hadn't seen your message in that time.

I'd think you owe him an apology for being impatient and accusing him.
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FibonacciGuy
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I think you may need to turn your phone off and live without it for a day... it will be good training for you. Then absolutely realise that there isn't any set time to respond to anything when you have no idea the others circumstances.There are women out there going into labour and unable to get in contact with their significant other to get to the hospital for one of the most important moments of their lives... even some moments like that have explanations. Realistically, always better to give benefit of the doubt before assuming anything, or its your attitude that is napalming your relationship, certainly not his...
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Anonymous #1
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bump
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FibonacciGuy
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All these bumps you're going to end up back in A and E
Last edited by FibonacciGuy; 4 weeks ago
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Anonymous #1
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