Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
Ive just moved in a couple days ago, im a social person like them, we drink we go out and all

But in terms of hobbies theres nothing there i share with them where they all have relatively similar hobbies, they don’t seem to want anything to do with me and i feel so lonely

Like, unrelated to me the topic of anime was brought up and the concensus was everyone going eww gross i hate those people when thats like a big interest for me? I feel really uncomfortable around them and even getting on the phone to my parents im scared they’ll overhear me

I really dont know what to do, all of my other mates at different unis have amazing flat mates and they all get on perfectly and i dont know what im doing wrong any more
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lol.yolo
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#2
Report 4 weeks ago
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Give it time, you only just moved in there's plenty of time to find common ground. You've been put in a flat with a bunch of random strangers so its perfectly reasonable that they don't share a passion for the same hobbies. As you all get to know each other more you might find other activities that you enjoy doing together, like cooking or shopping or walking outdoors.
Ultimately, its good to get on with your flatmates, but its ok if they're not your friends. Most uni students make their closest friends on their course or from societies. Maybe see if your uni has an anime society?
Last edited by lol.yolo; 4 weeks ago
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Reyalty
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doubt youre doing anything wrong, this sort of thing just happens
all i can really think of is to accept that, while its important to stay on good terms and maintain a relationship with them, youre not going to be best friends with your flatmates and focus on finding other weebs to get along with elsewhere!
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Lydia Taylor (YSJU Student Ambassador)
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ive just moved in a couple days ago, im a social person like them, we drink we go out and all

But in terms of hobbies theres nothing there i share with them where they all have relatively similar hobbies, they don’t seem to want anything to do with me and i feel so lonely

Like, unrelated to me the topic of anime was brought up and the concensus was everyone going eww gross i hate those people when thats like a big interest for me? I feel really uncomfortable around them and even getting on the phone to my parents im scared they’ll overhear me

I really dont know what to do, all of my other mates at different unis have amazing flat mates and they all get on perfectly and i dont know what im doing wrong any more
Hello!

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling uncomfortable in your flat.

If you can drink with them and are able to do some things with them, that is great! I did not do everything with my first year flat but there are lots of things we could do together. When university gets going properly you will make lots of different groups of friends and you will find you spend your time in various different places.

As for their comments, they may think differently if they knew that this is one of your interests. They may just have preconceived stereotypes that you as your friend could change! Try not to worry too much about when you phone home, there is a lot of noise in halls and to be honest they are probably too busy to notice anyone else's calls.

You could join some societies so that you can meet people who share hobbies with you! There is probably even a society that incorporates anime or you could start one!

I would give it a little more time whilst you settle in. Do what you can with them and you could suggest something casual like a film night or a takeaway. Then you will find yourself busy with your course, course friends and maybe even society!

I hope this helps,
Lydia
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lucyyy12
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you don't have to have the same hobbies to get along, you can still be close with someone who has different interests to you.
maybe you could try joining some societies where people would have the same interests as you?
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by lucyyy12)
you don't have to have the same hobbies to get along, you can still be close with someone who has different interests to you.
maybe you could try joining some societies where people would have the same interests as you?
Yeah no i agree! Most of my pre uni mates have like, opposite interests and we get along great its just literally gettin there and them being like people who like this and this are freaks and trying to avoid them makes me so uncomfortable to be around them, im defo gonna give societies a go tho
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