Who is the best person I can ask for advice on how to get dates?

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Anonymous #1
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If I haven’t successfully got 1 date in my life after asking many women out, who should I ask for advice? Who would be the best person to ask?
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1582
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You can ask us!

How do you usually go about asking women out?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 1582)
You can ask us!

How do you usually go about asking women out?
Ok thanks. 🙂


I talk to them for a bit first and then ask them out. Or I become friends first which suits me better as I find getting to know someone hard work.
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!Capercaillie
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You can ask anyone and likely receive generic advice that works for the majority of people.
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LittleBear04
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok thanks. 🙂


I talk to them for a bit first and then ask them out. Or I become friends first which suits me better as I find getting to know someone hard work.
You can use both methods - the point of going on dates is basically 'getting to know someone' as you describe, it takes time. It's not instant.
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Zarek
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Hanging out with successful folk sometimes throws up opportunities with the circling crowd. Friends, male and female, can be a source of support, advice and guidance. But more than anything you should work on appearance, repartee, flirt widely and be resilient. With this things generally work out
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok thanks. 🙂


I talk to them for a bit first and then ask them out. Or I become friends first which suits me better as I find getting to know someone hard work.
(Original post by LittleBear04)
You can use both methods - the point of going on dates is basically 'getting to know someone' as you describe, it takes time. It's not instant.
Thanks. I tend to find that girls just want to be my friend. Does that mean I’m heading in the right direction? Sorry if it’s a silly question, I’m a bit clueless with dating lol.
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-Femto-
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(Original post by Anonymous)
If I haven’t successfully got 1 date in my life after asking many women out, who should I ask for advice? Who would be the best person to ask?
Here's my personal recommendations. Ask people older than you who are successful at dating women. To not be discouraged when things don't go as planned, remember that every bad date or good date is experience that helps you form an idea of what you're looking for in a partner.

I would recommend a book called 'Models' by Mark Manson. I read it a few years back and it helped me a lot. The overarching themes were:
1) Personality: Your values and character. How effective are you at communicating.
2) Appearance: Self-explanatory.
3) Life style: You're job. What you do in your free time.

I'm assuming you're a guy, I would recommend more plates more dates content on interacting with women. There's specific videos that come to mind. If you're interested in those, just ask and I'll find them for you.
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LittleBear04
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks. I tend to find that girls just want to be my friend. Does that mean I’m heading in the right direction? Sorry if it’s a silly question, I’m a bit clueless with dating lol.
It depends, in some cases friendships naturally develop towards relationships, however in some cases it doesn't happen. Have you ever been for a coffee or dinner with a girl before, without using the term 'date'?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by LittleBear04)
It depends, in some cases friendships naturally develop towards relationships, however in some cases it doesn't happen. Have you ever been for a coffee or dinner with a girl before, without using the term 'date'?
Yes, many times.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by -Femto-)
Here's my personal recommendations. Ask people older than you who are successful at dating women. To not be discouraged when things don't go as planned, remember that every bad date or good date is experience that helps you form an idea of what you're looking for in a partner.

I would recommend a book called 'Models' by Mark Manson. I read it a few years back and it helped me a lot. The overarching themes were:
1) Personality: Your values and character. How effective are you at communicating.
2) Appearance: Self-explanatory.
3) Life style: You're job. What you do in your free time.

I'm assuming you're a guy, I would recommend more plates more dates content on interacting with women. There's specific videos that come to mind. If you're interested in those, just ask and I'll find them for you.
Thanks. Can I ask is this book by a pick up artist? I’m not really into pick up.
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ROTL94
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks. Can I ask is this book by a pick up artist? I’m not really into pick up.
Yeah, he is a PUA, and good for you, you should stay away from those PUA sad acts.
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Gavin2016
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(Original post by Anonymous)
If I haven’t successfully got 1 date in my life after asking many women out, who should I ask for advice? Who would be the best person to ask?
Huh, something is telling me you are way off the bat on this one. Girls can have various differing reasons to each other for not going out with a guy but the fact that you have asked several and they have all turned you down gives me rise to suspect that something is off somewhere.

What that something is is difficult for us to tell as you haven't really told us anything about yourself. We don't have a description of yourself, how you are and even then that isn't as good as knowing you in real life.

You say you can be friends with girls, in what way? Do you hang out with them outside School/College time? Or do you just chat to them in and around class time?

Are you friends with any guys?

Are your friends really friends or more acquaintances?

What sort of self description do you have of yourself that you can tell us?

These are the sort of basic info that we need to know as otherwise it's a real shot in the dark without knowing anything about you with little hope of hitting on the issue.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Gavin2016)
Huh, something is telling me you are way off the bat on this one. Girls can have various differing reasons to each other for not going out with a guy but the fact that you have asked several and they have all turned you down gives me rise to suspect that something is off somewhere.

What that something is is difficult for us to tell as you haven't really told us anything about yourself. We don't have a description of yourself, how you are and even then that isn't as good as knowing you in real life.

You say you can be friends with girls, in what way? Do you hang out with them outside School/College time? Or do you just chat to them in and around class time?

Are you friends with any guys?

Are your friends really friends or more acquaintances?

What sort of self description do you have of yourself that you can tell us?

These are the sort of basic info that we need to know as otherwise it's a real shot in the dark without knowing anything about you with little hope of hitting on the issue.
Thanks for your answer.

Yes, I hang out with them outside of our circle - for coffees, dinners, theatre, museums etc. I’d say they are friends - some of them are close friends. And I have many guy friends I hang out with too.

In terms of a brief self description, I’m confident (I used to be quite shy around new people but have worked on improving this), hard working, have lots of friends and hobbies.
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Gavin2016
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for your answer.

Yes, I hang out with them outside of our circle - for coffees, dinners, theatre, museums etc. I’d say they are friends - some of them are close friends. And I have many guy friends I hang out with too.

In terms of a brief self description, I’m confident (I used to be quite shy around new people but have worked on improving this), hard working, have lots of friends and hobbies.
That helps a bit, it looks like you are not falling down in the social aspect in terms of not looking like a social outcast, women tend not to like that.

Theatres is a bit of a strange one, when I was in my teens & twenties it was not really popular with that age group unless perhaps for particular social groups/circles. I could only assume it is still that way.

Museums appeal to a certain sort of people in my opinion. I don't mind them but it's probably not the sort of place I would go unless on holiday or with family. It's not really the sort of place I would take friends unless I knew it was a big thing they enjoyed.

My general thoughts are that you seem to enjoy more introverted activities, that's fine and you probably would fit with a girl that really enjoyed the above that you mention. The downside as far as women are concerned is that introverted guys isn't often what appeals to women, even introverted women.

Are you sure these women enjoy the museums & theatres you go with them to all that much? Is it your idea to go there or there's?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Gavin2016)
That helps a bit, it looks like you are not falling down in the social aspect in terms of not looking like a social outcast, women tend not to like that.

Theatres is a bit of a strange one, when I was in my teens & twenties it was not really popular with that age group unless perhaps for particular social groups/circles. I could only assume it is still that way.

Museums appeal to a certain sort of people in my opinion. I don't mind them but it's probably not the sort of place I would go unless on holiday or with family. It's not really the sort of place I would take friends unless I knew it was a big thing they enjoyed.

My general thoughts are that you seem to enjoy more introverted activities, that's fine and you probably would fit with a girl that really enjoyed the above that you mention. The downside as far as women are concerned is that introverted guys isn't often what appeals to women, even introverted women.

Are you sure these women enjoy the museums & theatres you go with them to all that much? Is it your idea to go there or there's?
Yes, they enjoy it.
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-Femto-
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Thanks. Can I ask is this book by a pick up artist? I’m not really into pick up.
No it's not. I've read PUA stuff in the past and it cringed me out. He pretty much just advocates being yourself unabashedly and learning how to effectively communicate. Check out a youtube summary video. The book goes into more detail that is why I think it is worth reading. His advice for dates was game changing for me.
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Gavin2016
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes, they enjoy it.
Well good, that strikes that one out then. Well it seems like you are in the 'friendzone'. It's seems that they see you as a decent enough guy socially to hang out with but not someone who they admire to date. Again I think while some people can be sociable they can also be introverted and that can be a problem with coming across as confident. You kind of already stated this has been an issue for you and while you have probably improved a bit a lot of women tend to want a guy that cones across as pretty confident. So the bit you have improved probably isn't that significant when compared to what they are probably looking for. As an introverted guy myself I know in general that's just the way someone is and there isn't a lot that can be done about it. Trying to be more forward than your personality naturally is won't probably work well either. I found in time you can naturally be somewhat more confident but still it's not the same as more extrovert guys.

If not already you could try online dating but again it will have women looking for certain things. I think you'll just have to accept that like many of us you won't come high up the pecking order for women. So either it'll happen or it won't. Either way though no point worrying about it, just enjoy doing what you do. Possibly having a good job, wealth, gym bod, etc may help you attract women but they are not easy things to get. If you have something like that and still aren't getting women then maybe try a different sort of woman, a woman who would see you as trading up in some regards. As Jordan Peterson (US phycologist - you tube) says women date across the social hierarchy and up, men date across the social hierarchy across and down.

Unfortunately if you are an introvert/not seen as a confident person most women will mark that as a negative point in the down column. If you are an introvert but on your way to being a brilliant highly paid scientist then that may mitigate it somewhat.
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LittleBear04
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes, many times.
Then you have probably had a date then.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by LittleBear04)
Then you have probably had a date then.
Oh. They didn’t feel like dates.
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