I feel stuck in my University life

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I'm starting my second year and I literally feel like its going to be exactly the same as last year. I made the moronic decision to live at home, and whilst I had the choice to move out for second year, I just couldn't. I'm so paralysed by the thought of it that I just couldn't do it. It's so pathetic. I've made the same mistake twice. And now I'm stuck at home, and don't ever feel like going out and doing all that stuff.

I honestly like the course, it's just my social life is suffering immensely. I'm naturally a bit introverted, although I do like being around people, but my social anxiety has sky-rocketed and I just turn down everything I opt in for, and just want to stay in my room by myself all day. I don't know how I'll grow in my life with this pathetic attitude of mine and how I'll be able to achieve anything at all. I'm so terrified of trying out new things and meeting new people, even though I want to, but I have such low self-esteem and and even poorer mental health wellbeing.

I'd originally thought I'd be able to change myself, but I just can't. And now I'm just stuck, again.
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Blackstarr
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#2
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#2
I feel you
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Anonymous #1
#3
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#3
(Original post by Blackstarr)
I feel you
Have you been through something similar, and how have you dealt with it?
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gtty123
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#4
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#4
Get involved with activities on campus, but take it one step at a time. I, too, am living at home and my life hasn't suffered because of it lol. You just have to try that slight bit harder.
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Anonymous #1
#5
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(Original post by gtty123)
Get involved with activities on campus, but take it one step at a time. I, too, am living at home and my life hasn't suffered because of it lol. You just have to try that slight bit harder.
Are you an outgoing person?
Honestly, I'm aware that it's a fairly basic and straight-forward answer/solution, namely to just force yourself out there and getting used to it. But I just find it almost mentally impossible to 'get involved', and that's the hard part. Even if I do join in, I feel so out of place and want to leave asap, and feel even worse afterwards. Do you have many friends?
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Anonymous #2
#6
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#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm starting my second year and I literally feel like its going to be exactly the same as last year. I made the moronic decision to live at home, and whilst I had the choice to move out for second year, I just couldn't. I'm so paralysed by the thought of it that I just couldn't do it. It's so pathetic. I've made the same mistake twice. And now I'm stuck at home, and don't ever feel like going out and doing all that stuff.

I honestly like the course, it's just my social life is suffering immensely. I'm naturally a bit introverted, although I do like being around people, but my social anxiety has sky-rocketed and I just turn down everything I opt in for, and just want to stay in my room by myself all day. I don't know how I'll grow in my life with this pathetic attitude of mine and how I'll be able to achieve anything at all. I'm so terrified of trying out new things and meeting new people, even though I want to, but I have such low self-esteem and and even poorer mental health wellbeing.

I'd originally thought I'd be able to change myself, but I just can't. And now I'm just stuck, again.
I was there, exactly in the same boat. Don't look back now on what you should've have done. Just look forward and remember that you will always have opportunities to meet new people even after university. Firstly, make the effort to travel to university and join as many societies/clubs as you can. Another tip is to talk to as many new people and don't force it. Im in my placement year and to be honest I don't talk to most of the people I met, you just got to keep it moving.
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Anonymous #1
#7
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#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
I was there, exactly in the same boat. Don't look back now on what you should've have done. Just look forward and remember that you will always have opportunities to meet new people even after university. Firstly, make the effort to travel to university and join as many societies/clubs as you can. Another tip is to talk to as many new people and don't force it. Im in my placement year and to be honest I don't talk to most of the people I met, you just got to keep it moving.
How is it going now?
Also, as you have been through a similar experience, do you have any suggestions on how to get past the barrier of my own fears and social anxiety? Whenever I do go out, I always feel as though I'm isolated and therefore, don't mingle much with people. How do you get past this? And how do you make yourself comfortable with getting out of your comfort zone?
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Anonymous #3
#8
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#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
How is it going now?
Also, as you have been through a similar experience, do you have any suggestions on how to get past the barrier of my own fears and social anxiety? Whenever I do go out, I always feel as though I'm isolated and therefore, don't mingle much with people. How do you get past this? And how do you make yourself comfortable with getting out of your comfort zone?
How old are you?
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Anonymous #1
#9
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#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
How old are you?
I'm 21. Why?
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Anonymous #2
#10
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#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
How is it going now?
Also, as you have been through a similar experience, do you have any suggestions on how to get past the barrier of my own fears and social anxiety? Whenever I do go out, I always feel as though I'm isolated and therefore, don't mingle much with people. How do you get past this? And how do you make yourself comfortable with getting out of your comfort zone?
I usually get that anxious feeling if I go out not having planned something. Why don't you consider joining a uni freshers groupchat and try to organise a day out with a group of people where you can then meet in real life (people are usually down for this). The benefit of this is that you will find it easier to start that initial conversation and you almost get a better feeling of knowing them before you have even met. Obviously, you have to be cautious but it is something to consider. There are thousands in the same position if that helps in anyway.
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Anonymous #3
#11
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#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm 21. Why?
Oh same
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Anonymous #1
#12
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#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
I usually get that anxious feeling if I go out not having planned something. Why don't you consider joining a uni freshers groupchat and try to organise a day out with a group of people where you can then meet in real life (people are usually down for this). The benefit of this is that you will find it easier to start that initial conversation and you almost get a better feeling of knowing them before you have even met. Obviously, you have to be cautious but it is something to consider. There are thousands in the same position if that helps in anyway.
Yeah, but I don't think I'm at the stage to be able to actively plan a meet-up myself. It's causing me to panic even thinking about it right now. But thank you for the suggestion, your responses have really helped.
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Anonymous #2
#13
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#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah, but I don't think I'm at the stage to be able to actively plan a meet-up myself. It's causing me to panic even thinking about it right now. But thank you for the suggestion, your responses have really helped.
whereabouts is your university. North, South?
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Anonymous #1
#14
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#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
whereabouts is your university. North, South?
South East England. Why?
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Dee-Emma
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#15
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm starting my second year and I literally feel like its going to be exactly the same as last year. I made the moronic decision to live at home, and whilst I had the choice to move out for second year, I just couldn't. I'm so paralysed by the thought of it that I just couldn't do it. It's so pathetic. I've made the same mistake twice. And now I'm stuck at home, and don't ever feel like going out and doing all that stuff.

I honestly like the course, it's just my social life is suffering immensely. I'm naturally a bit introverted, although I do like being around people, but my social anxiety has sky-rocketed and I just turn down everything I opt in for, and just want to stay in my room by myself all day. I don't know how I'll grow in my life with this pathetic attitude of mine and how I'll be able to achieve anything at all. I'm so terrified of trying out new things and meeting new people, even though I want to, but I have such low self-esteem and and even poorer mental health wellbeing.

I'd originally thought I'd be able to change myself, but I just can't. And now I'm just stuck, again.
My own approach is to physically go out. Walk. Go to campus. Have a coffee. Go to the library. If that's too daunting then maybe it's time to make use of your university support services, student counselling etc. Hth.
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Anonymous #1
#16
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(Original post by Dee-Emma)
My own approach is to physically go out. Walk. Go to campus. Have a coffee. Go to the library. If that's too daunting then maybe it's time to make use of your university support services, student counselling etc. Hth.
I think that might be the best option for me right now. Thanks for the suggestion.
I have tried Uni counselling, but I didn't feel like it helped much, if at all.
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Anonymous #4
#17
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#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm starting my second year and I literally feel like its going to be exactly the same as last year. I made the moronic decision to live at home, and whilst I had the choice to move out for second year, I just couldn't. I'm so paralysed by the thought of it that I just couldn't do it. It's so pathetic. I've made the same mistake twice. And now I'm stuck at home, and don't ever feel like going out and doing all that stuff.

I honestly like the course, it's just my social life is suffering immensely. I'm naturally a bit introverted, although I do like being around people, but my social anxiety has sky-rocketed and I just turn down everything I opt in for, and just want to stay in my room by myself all day. I don't know how I'll grow in my life with this pathetic attitude of mine and how I'll be able to achieve anything at all. I'm so terrified of trying out new things and meeting new people, even though I want to, but I have such low self-esteem and and even poorer mental health wellbeing.

I'd originally thought I'd be able to change myself, but I just can't. And now I'm just stuck, again.
Do basically you're too lazy and can't be bothered..
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Anonymous #4
#18
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#18
*so
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Anonymous #1
#19
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#19
(Original post by Anonymous)
Do basically you're too lazy and can't be bothered..
Yeah, you got it. Everyone struggling with social anxiety and more or less, is just a lazy arse who can't be bothered. Why didn't I think of this before?
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Blackstarr
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#20
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#20
(Original post by Anonymous)
Have you been through something similar, and how have you dealt with it?
i am in the same boat. Sometimes i try to get outside of my comfort zone by daring myself to do small stuff( am socially anxious btw) like walking in front of a large crowd or asking a stranger for directions.

I myself chosen to commute for 2nd year and don't know if i made the right decision
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