Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I (F21) am a modern languages student about to go into the second year of my course. As a result, I have moved into student accommodation for the first time. I am really not coping well at all, and thus am considering other options like dropping out or changing courses despite liking the one I'm currently doing, due to the fact I have to do a year abroad in third year.

I really love my course - my first year was great as I could study the subject I like from the comfort of my home, surrounded by my family who I feel safe and secure with. I have general anxiety, but my main issue is social anxiety, as well as depression. I started getting therapy in March in my home city but nothing really worked and I just keep getting passed along to more intense therapies (I'm currently waiting for a new therapist). My issues were hugely exasperated by the pandemic, leading to agoraphobia and even worse social anxiety, which then led to spiralling low mood and even worse depression... It just hasn't been a great 18 months for me lol.

However, moving away from that safe space of my home has been almost the nail in the coffin for me. I have had panic attacks multiple times a day in the week leading up to moving. I almost dropped out the night before leaving this weekend, but ultimately decided against such a drastic and sudden choice. But now I'm here. And I just want to be home. I know that everyone says you need to give it time, but my symptoms are so intense and I never feel any relief. I can't shake the tightness in my chest, shaking all over, I can't eat without feeling physically ill, and I can't sleep at night. I haven't met my flatmates yet (to be honest, I have tried but I just keep missing them in the kitchen and I'm scared to knock on their doors). I feel really isolated, and like I've been having an anxiety attack for days. I'm tired. I can't help feeling like maybe although I love my course, this isn't the right time for me to be doing it, especially with a trip to the other side of the world (South Korea) in my uncomfortably close future. I originally applied back in the 2018/19 academic year with deferred entry , in my more mentally stable pre-pandemic state, and I do believe I could've coped back then but now my circumstances are just so different. But currently, I just want to leave or change courses to one similar to mine but without the year abroad so I can commute, yet the chances for regret are so high.

Has anyone else felt like they chose the right course, but it isn't the right time for them to be doing it? Or just have any advice on what you think I should do? I have contacted my department's welfare team about my worries but am waiting on a response.
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3mptyhead
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#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
I (F21) am a modern languages student about to go into the second year of my course. As a result, I have moved into student accommodation for the first time. I am really not coping well at all, and thus am considering other options like dropping out or changing courses despite liking the one I'm currently doing, due to the fact I have to do a year abroad in third year.

I really love my course - my first year was great as I could study the subject I like from the comfort of my home, surrounded by my family who I feel safe and secure with. I have general anxiety, but my main issue is social anxiety, as well as depression. I started getting therapy in March in my home city but nothing really worked and I just keep getting passed along to more intense therapies (I'm currently waiting for a new therapist). My issues were hugely exasperated by the pandemic, leading to agoraphobia and even worse social anxiety, which then led to spiralling low mood and even worse depression... It just hasn't been a great 18 months for me lol.

However, moving away from that safe space of my home has been almost the nail in the coffin for me. I have had panic attacks multiple times a day in the week leading up to moving. I almost dropped out the night before leaving this weekend, but ultimately decided against such a drastic and sudden choice. But now I'm here. And I just want to be home. I know that everyone says you need to give it time, but my symptoms are so intense and I never feel any relief. I can't shake the tightness in my chest, shaking all over, I can't eat without feeling physically ill, and I can't sleep at night. I haven't met my flatmates yet (to be honest, I have tried but I just keep missing them in the kitchen and I'm scared to knock on their doors). I feel really isolated, and like I've been having an anxiety attack for days. I'm tired. I can't help feeling like maybe although I love my course, this isn't the right time for me to be doing it, especially with a trip to the other side of the world (South Korea) in my uncomfortably close future. I originally applied back in the 2018/19 academic year with deferred entry , in my more mentally stable pre-pandemic state, and I do believe I could've coped back then but now my circumstances are just so different. But currently, I just want to leave or change courses to one similar to mine but without the year abroad so I can commute, yet the chances for regret are so high.

Has anyone else felt like they chose the right course, but it isn't the right time for them to be doing it? Or just have any advice on what you think I should do? I have contacted my department's welfare team about my worries but am waiting on a response.
Honestly i can understand you completely as i have been feeling very similar to this and funnily enough we study pretty much the same thing... do you go to soas by any chance? if you do and it will help to have a supportive friend then hi lol

But yeah.. the give it time thing i would have to agree with. Once you meet your flat mates and feel comfortable with them everything could calm down in your head and if you leave and drop out now you will never know. I wouldn't want you to feel regret about dropping out. Also would deferring really make you feel better? I thought about it hard myself and although we may feel better at first what if next september comes and you feel the same? Would you keep deferring, i guess it's almost delaying the inevitable
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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(Original post by 3mptyhead)
Honestly i can understand you completely as i have been feeling very similar to this and funnily enough we study pretty much the same thing... do you go to soas by any chance? if you do and it will help to have a supportive friend then hi lol

But yeah.. the give it time thing i would have to agree with. Once you meet your flat mates and feel comfortable with them everything could calm down in your head and if you leave and drop out now you will never know. I wouldn't want you to feel regret about dropping out. Also would deferring really make you feel better? I thought about it hard myself and although we may feel better at first what if next september comes and you feel the same? Would you keep deferring, i guess it's almost delaying the inevitable
I'm at Sheffield!

And yes, it's a really big dilemma I'm just worried that I won't be able to pluck the courage for the year abroad within the next 11 months and put myself through this year of living somewhere I don't want to be for no reason and wasting my time, if that makes sense? And changing from Korean Studies to an East Asian Studies course would at least let me leave with a degree, but then I'd be forfeiting my favourite part of the current course which is language... There's a lot to think about.
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3mptyhead
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#4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm at Sheffield!

And yes, it's a really big dilemma I'm just worried that I won't be able to pluck the courage for the year abroad within the next 11 months and put myself through this year of living somewhere I don't want to be for no reason and wasting my time, if that makes sense? And changing from Korean Studies to an East Asian Studies course would at least let me leave with a degree, but then I'd be forfeiting my favourite part of the current course which is language... There's a lot to think about.
Well.. Even though we are in different cities, if you need someone to talk about these things with then you can talk to me.
I went to Korea alone and lived there for 2 years in the past too so you can pile questions on me about that if it will make you feel better i can tell you everything you need or want to know.
If you are thinking about switching and your favourite part is the language then i would realllllly suggest you dont. but if you are determined at soas you can do extra modules on the side (language included) idk about sheff but maybe its also an option there for you to do korean language modules on the side of ea studies?
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Anonymous #2
#5
Report 1 month ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
I (F21) am a modern languages student about to go into the second year of my course. As a result, I have moved into student accommodation for the first time. I am really not coping well at all, and thus am considering other options like dropping out or changing courses despite liking the one I'm currently doing, due to the fact I have to do a year abroad in third year.

I really love my course - my first year was great as I could study the subject I like from the comfort of my home, surrounded by my family who I feel safe and secure with. I have general anxiety, but my main issue is social anxiety, as well as depression. I started getting therapy in March in my home city but nothing really worked and I just keep getting passed along to more intense therapies (I'm currently waiting for a new therapist). My issues were hugely exasperated by the pandemic, leading to agoraphobia and even worse social anxiety, which then led to spiralling low mood and even worse depression... It just hasn't been a great 18 months for me lol.

However, moving away from that safe space of my home has been almost the nail in the coffin for me. I have had panic attacks multiple times a day in the week leading up to moving. I almost dropped out the night before leaving this weekend, but ultimately decided against such a drastic and sudden choice. But now I'm here. And I just want to be home. I know that everyone says you need to give it time, but my symptoms are so intense and I never feel any relief. I can't shake the tightness in my chest, shaking all over, I can't eat without feeling physically ill, and I can't sleep at night. I haven't met my flatmates yet (to be honest, I have tried but I just keep missing them in the kitchen and I'm scared to knock on their doors). I feel really isolated, and like I've been having an anxiety attack for days. I'm tired. I can't help feeling like maybe although I love my course, this isn't the right time for me to be doing it, especially with a trip to the other side of the world (South Korea) in my uncomfortably close future. I originally applied back in the 2018/19 academic year with deferred entry , in my more mentally stable pre-pandemic state, and I do believe I could've coped back then but now my circumstances are just so different. But currently, I just want to leave or change courses to one similar to mine but without the year abroad so I can commute, yet the chances for regret are so high.

Has anyone else felt like they chose the right course, but it isn't the right time for them to be doing it? Or just have any advice on what you think I should do? I have contacted my department's welfare team about my worries but am waiting on a response.
You don't need to talk to anyone, you could even move back home if it's not to far, if it is then just study on your own in a quiet room make sure you complete everything. Stop the panic attacks as it's just pointless. There's nothing wrong with being quiet or isolated because you have your whole life to meet new people so don't worry about that.
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You don't need to talk to anyone, you could even move back home if it's not to far, if it is then just study on your own in a quiet room make sure you complete everything. Stop the panic attacks as it's just pointless. There's nothing wrong with being quiet or isolated because you have your whole life to meet new people so don't worry about that.
I would definitely have moved back home by now if it weren't for the year abroad, as the train only takes ~30 minutes. However, if moving thousands of miles away is my first real experience of living away from home, I seriously doubt I'll cope considering how I am right now while still living in the UK
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Anonymous #2
#7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I would definitely have moved back home by now if it weren't for the year abroad, as the train only takes ~30 minutes. However, if moving thousands of miles away is my first real experience of living away from home, I seriously doubt I'll cope considering how I am right now while still living in the UK
OK in that case take my other advice, study on your own in a quiet room make sure you complete everything. Think about the panic attacks, do they make things any better? No, they are just pointless. Remember nothing wrong with being quiet or isolated because you have your whole life to meet new people so don't worry about that.
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Pinez772
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#8
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Go check out the mental health services at the SU, I'm only just applying to uni but I know that Sheffield supposedly has one of the best Student Unions in the UK. There must be people you can talk to about this within uni, they're there to help you. Also, East Asian Studies at Sheffield does have language modules you can take, but I think they may be a little behind where you would be doing a full language degree. The East Asian Studies degree does have a two week trip abroad but that's not too long so you may find it more manageable. Just talk to the relevant people and do what works best
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