Loniness in uni during covid

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Celery11
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#1
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So I moved into my accommodation in Swansea uni yesterday, and I have quite bad anxiety. I haven't said any more than hi to anyone since I got here, and everyone else in my flat are all already best friends. Every time I walk past them I nearly cry, I feel like I can't go out and make food as there are 6 or 7 people in the living room everytime I go in there. I feel so lonely and just sit in my room crying. This isn't what I expected uni to be like
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Celery11
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(Original post by Saabman)
Why would you cry?
I just feel so lonely. Everytime I see everyone having a laugh I wonder why I can't just be like that. I'm just upset with myself for not trying harder
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bamany
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(Original post by Saabman)
Don't cry about it though lmao it's embarrassing
how is it embarrassing??
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Celery11
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(Original post by Saabman)
Don't cry about it though lmao it's embarrassing
It's not like I'm standing there crying in front of everyone 😂 people are allowed to cry when they are upset
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Celery11
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(Original post by Saabman)
Because its being a wimp
And this is exactly why I haven't spoken to anyone 🙄
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Moonlight Rain
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(Original post by Saabman)
Don't cry about it though lmao it's embarrassing
You're being embarrassing
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bamany
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(Original post by Saabman)
Because its being a wimp
not really, it’s a big change. perhaps you’re not one to cry but even so, crying is never a sign of being a wimp, especially in such a huge transition in life. think about what you’re saying, this person is already having a hard time
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bamany
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(Original post by Celery11)
And this is exactly why I haven't spoken to anyone 🙄
no you’re not a wimp, i’m not at uni but i do know how it feels to be lonely it’s horrible. i’m not sure if i have any advice as i don’t even know how to deal with it 😂 but please don’t think your a wimp xx
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bamany
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(Original post by Saabman)
Speak to someone when you are more grown up
??
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Googley_eyes
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(Original post by Saabman)
It's opinion, imo it is embarrassing some people might think it's not
OP ignore the troll, I know exactly how you feel and it’s really hard.
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Celery11
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(Original post by Saabman)
I used to be like op pissing about not crying but down losing sleep but I got told I need to grow up and be a man because the clocks are ticking I can't sit around moaning until I'm 60 I had just grow up
Clearly you don't seem to understand what mental health is?
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Muttley79
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(Original post by Saabman)
I used to be like op pissing about not crying but down losing sleep but I got told I need to grow up and be a man because the clocks are ticking I can't sit around moaning until I'm 60 I had just grow up
Why not try to be kind - or even give some sensible ideas. 'Growing up' means having empathy for others ...
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bamany
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(Original post by Saabman)
I don't know and don't care. You either choose to grow up or you don't. Luckily I chose to grow up
then don’t reply to a thread which is clearly about mental health??? clearly doing the whole 'grow up & be a man' thing doesn’t work because it creates a hollow shell of a person. op wants to improve but is just finding it a bit difficult and there’s nothing wrong with that- having a little sympathy wouldn’t hurt x
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Wise Goldie
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(Original post by Moonlight Rain)
You're being embarrassing
you tell them chanel
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bamany
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(Original post by Saabman)
I'm telling them that they need to grow up just like I got told because that's what I had to do I couldn't just ****ing moan all the time
they’ve been there for a day how are they moaning all the time? tbh i would recommend that you rant/cry and let it out at some point it helps a lot
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POSITIVEVIBEZZZ
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I was exactly like that in 1st year 2020, it was so bad. I was the last to move in so everyone had already gotten close with each other and I felt like a total outcast, having anxiety made it so much worse too. I could barely start convo with anyone and whenever they did drinking games downstairs, I would literally stay in my room. I'd even cook dinners and put it containers at like 6am just so I didn't have to see anyone in the kitchen during the day loool. Have you tried medication for your anxiety, or spoken to your doctor to take therapy? But honestly, just try to initiate convo with them, try be yourself and they'll feel more comfortable to be your friend. If not, maybe transfer to a studio room and go to societies? what about the people on your course, do you speak to them? My anxiety couldn't deal with living with 11 other people I went home after a month LOL.
Last edited by POSITIVEVIBEZZZ; 1 month ago
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Muttley79
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(Original post by Saabman)
No one was kind to me,
So you should understand the need for kindness ...
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Muttley79
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(Original post by Celery11)
So I moved into my accommodation in Swansea uni yesterday, and I have quite bad anxiety. I haven't said any more than hi to anyone since I got here, and everyone else in my flat are all already best friends. Every time I walk past them I nearly cry, I feel like I can't go out and make food as there are 6 or 7 people in the living room everytime I go in there. I feel so lonely and just sit in my room crying. This isn't what I expected uni to be like
PLEASE ignore the unkind poster - a lot of people feel tearful - they are all probably feeling the same as you. Just go and make a cup of tea/coffee
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Celery11
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(Original post by POSITIVEVIBEZZZ)
I was exactly the first in first year in 2020, it was so bad. I was the last to move in so everyone had already gotten close with each other and I felt like a total outcast, having anxiety made it so much worse too. I could barely start convo with anyone and whenever they did drinking games downstairs, I would literally stay in my room. I'd even cook dinners and put it containers at like 6am just so I didn't have to see anyone in the kitchen during the day loool. Have you tried medication for your anxiety, or spoken to your doctor to take therapy? But honestly, just try to initiate convo with them, try be yourself and they'll feel more comfortable to be your friend. If not, maybe transfer to a studio room and go to societies? what about the people on your course, do you speak to them? My anxiety couldn't deal with living with 11 other people I went home after a month LOL.
Thank you so much for this. I can never remember to take meds everyday so it ends up making me worse, I'm on a few waiting lists for therapy and stuff. I haven't met anyone on my course, it's all online 🙄
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BrainDrain
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(Original post by Celery11)
So I moved into my accommodation in Swansea uni yesterday, and I have quite bad anxiety. I haven't said any more than hi to anyone since I got here, and everyone else in my flat are all already best friends. Every time I walk past them I nearly cry, I feel like I can't go out and make food as there are 6 or 7 people in the living room everytime I go in there. I feel so lonely and just sit in my room crying. This isn't what I expected uni to be like
Hi Celery, starting University is a huge step for most, everything is different your room , bed, making your own decisions and finding yourself amongst strangers, so many will be feeling like you do., down, miserable, and depressed.

What might help, firstly try to feel as well as you can by doing the things that make you feel good, so for me it would start with a good nights sleep and in the morning a relaxing shower, I like to dress in all fresh clean clothes, have my hair looking good and to smell nice and then my favourite breakfast, for me simply cornflakes and a lovely cup of tea, and now i'm off to a good a start as possible.

Breaking the ice with your house mates seems to be a big problem for you. I would try getting up early and doing the above but have your breakfast not in your room but in the kitchen, and if you have not got a paper or magazine nip out to the shops and get one got one, so you can linger with something to read.
So assuming you are the first up stay in the kitchen reading your magazine, eventually someone will join you, maybe looking a bit dishevelled, say "hi good morning, i'm just going to make myself another drink would you like one" and the ice is broken, you could maybe say you are finding it hard moving away from home, and are sorry for not joining in earlier, there could be articles in the paper you could mention, ask where your friend came from etc., it's much easier dealing with one person than a group, and as others get up, they will want to join in.
Give it a go and hopefully you will start to feel much better, i wish you well good luck.
Last edited by BrainDrain; 1 month ago
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