Feeling uncomfortable in communal areas at uni
Hi all.
Ladt week I started university in London, and have had a really amazing time so far! My flatmates and those around me are really friendly and nice, but I feel myself, and a couple of others from my flat, are starting to feel a little uncomfortable in shared space, and frustrated, too.
Every night since arriving, three of the girls from my flat have invited about 20 friends over for either pre-drinks and to hang out in the kitchen, often making us feel uneasy using the space, as it is so crowded, and generally just uncomfortable for more introverted people. Whilst I definitely do not have a problem with them drinking or hanging out in our flat, spending hours on end in the kitchen, particularly in the evening, where I have not felt comfortable to go out and cook my food despite having prepped it, and often not eaten, for sometimes they do not leave until really late. We have also been woken up by them on multiple occasions, coming back from partying at 2AM, or being loud in the corridors even later than flat.
Has anybody had a similar experience, or advice they would be willing to share, please?
Ladt week I started university in London, and have had a really amazing time so far! My flatmates and those around me are really friendly and nice, but I feel myself, and a couple of others from my flat, are starting to feel a little uncomfortable in shared space, and frustrated, too.
Every night since arriving, three of the girls from my flat have invited about 20 friends over for either pre-drinks and to hang out in the kitchen, often making us feel uneasy using the space, as it is so crowded, and generally just uncomfortable for more introverted people. Whilst I definitely do not have a problem with them drinking or hanging out in our flat, spending hours on end in the kitchen, particularly in the evening, where I have not felt comfortable to go out and cook my food despite having prepped it, and often not eaten, for sometimes they do not leave until really late. We have also been woken up by them on multiple occasions, coming back from partying at 2AM, or being loud in the corridors even later than flat.
Has anybody had a similar experience, or advice they would be willing to share, please?
Original post by Anonymous
Hi all.
Ladt week I started university in London, and have had a really amazing time so far! My flatmates and those around me are really friendly and nice, but I feel myself, and a couple of others from my flat, are starting to feel a little uncomfortable in shared space, and frustrated, too.
Every night since arriving, three of the girls from my flat have invited about 20 friends over for either pre-drinks and to hang out in the kitchen, often making us feel uneasy using the space, as it is so crowded, and generally just uncomfortable for more introverted people. Whilst I definitely do not have a problem with them drinking or hanging out in our flat, spending hours on end in the kitchen, particularly in the evening, where I have not felt comfortable to go out and cook my food despite having prepped it, and often not eaten, for sometimes they do not leave until really late. We have also been woken up by them on multiple occasions, coming back from partying at 2AM, or being loud in the corridors even later than flat.
Has anybody had a similar experience, or advice they would be willing to share, please?
Ladt week I started university in London, and have had a really amazing time so far! My flatmates and those around me are really friendly and nice, but I feel myself, and a couple of others from my flat, are starting to feel a little uncomfortable in shared space, and frustrated, too.
Every night since arriving, three of the girls from my flat have invited about 20 friends over for either pre-drinks and to hang out in the kitchen, often making us feel uneasy using the space, as it is so crowded, and generally just uncomfortable for more introverted people. Whilst I definitely do not have a problem with them drinking or hanging out in our flat, spending hours on end in the kitchen, particularly in the evening, where I have not felt comfortable to go out and cook my food despite having prepped it, and often not eaten, for sometimes they do not leave until really late. We have also been woken up by them on multiple occasions, coming back from partying at 2AM, or being loud in the corridors even later than flat.
Has anybody had a similar experience, or advice they would be willing to share, please?
Hello,
It is great that you are enjoying university and getting on with members of your flat. However, I am sorry to hear about the uncomfortable situation.
This definitely seems unfair on you and your flat, you should definitely be comfortable in your own space and should be able to eat! If others are feeling this way, you are in a great position to fix it though. I would recommend that you speak to them and you can calmly and kindly approach the three girls. You could do it over a takeaway or a hot drink in your kitchen, or you could even suggest you go out for a pint and have a chat. Just explain your frustration to the flat mates and as you are not alone in this, they cannot argue you are being unreasonable.
Maybe come to a compromise, they could limit this to one night a week or they could invite less people? They are within their rights to have people around but this should not be at the expense of others. It is possible they do not realise that they are causing problems for you guys and will be very understanding.
When I was on placement, I asked my flat mates not to host any pre drinks as I needed to be asleep early and they were really understanding and went elsewhere. I was lucky that my flat mates were understanding but everyone is human and so it is likely they will help you out.
Lydia
Hi, can we go for drinks? I recently moved here for uni too and would like to make some more friends
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