Unhappy, stuck in a rut

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#1
Me & my boyfriend have lived together for a year and we’ve known each-other a year he moved in after like 2 months I got pregnant after a month and I lost the baby which has affected me a lot mentally and how I feel towards him as after I lost the baby I went off him but still loved him

He started acting emotionally abusive towards me soon after 3/4 months when I didn’t want to have sex anymore for some reason and still don’t to this day but felt forced to as he said I didn’t love him if I didn’t want to have sex and I must think his penis is small (he’s obsessed with what I think about his penis)

Then it become worse I now notice I have 0 friends as he would get annoyed everytime I said I wanted to go out for drinks or to a club with them so I no longer have friends anymore

I’ve tried to break up with him about 20 times but because he has moved into my house of which I live with my Nan he would only be able to stay at his brothers who is 18 and lives in a house with hisgf and has a baby and it makes me feel bad but that’s not the worst part

The last time I tried to break up with him he destroyed my car causing 500£ worth of damage which still hasn’t been fixed yet to it and tried to strangle me and he owed me a lot of money, as well as threatening to kill him self and involved me calling 101 to make a report as he harassed me for days afterwards and would tell me he’s at a train station about to die and he told his family it’s all my fault he then proceeded to turn up at my house at 12 am and wouldn’t leave/ stop calling the door bell until I answered which ended in my Nan calling the police.

And I gave up as it was too much stress so I caved in as the police didn’t help enough to keep him away so he’s baxk here and it’s worse than ever, I hate it o feel so ducking miserable he goes to work all day so I have some time to Just sit in my room and think about how sad and depressed I am in this relationship and how much I hate it
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Anonymous #1
#2
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#2
There’s also so much more I could say like how he refused to delete my naked photos even though his phones has been hacked by him using dodgy website and he go so angry bevause I asked him to delete them he stormed out the house, also he doesn’t like it when my phone makes notifications as he always thinks it’s a man I could go on
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Wired_1800
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#3
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You have to leave before it is too late. Start off with a therapist then plan your exit. Good luck
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lojawa
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#4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Me & my boyfriend have lived together for a year and we’ve known each-other a year he moved in after like 2 months I got pregnant after a month and I lost the baby which has affected me a lot mentally and how I feel towards him as after I lost the baby I went off him but still loved him

He started acting emotionally abusive towards me soon after 3/4 months when I didn’t want to have sex anymore for some reason and still don’t to this day but felt forced to as he said I didn’t love him if I didn’t want to have sex and I must think his penis is small (he’s obsessed with what I think about his penis)

Then it become worse I now notice I have 0 friends as he would get annoyed everytime I said I wanted to go out for drinks or to a club with them so I no longer have friends anymore

I’ve tried to break up with him about 20 times but because he has moved into my house of which I live with my Nan he would only be able to stay at his brothers who is 18 and lives in a house with hisgf and has a baby and it makes me feel bad but that’s not the worst part

The last time I tried to break up with him he destroyed my car causing 500£ worth of damage which still hasn’t been fixed yet to it and tried to strangle me and he owed me a lot of money, as well as threatening to kill him self and involved me calling 101 to make a report as he harassed me for days afterwards and would tell me he’s at a train station about to die and he told his family it’s all my fault he then proceeded to turn up at my house at 12 am and wouldn’t leave/ stop calling the door bell until I answered which ended in my Nan calling the police.

And I gave up as it was too much stress so I caved in as the police didn’t help enough to keep him away so he’s baxk here and it’s worse than ever, I hate it o feel so ducking miserable he goes to work all day so I have some time to Just sit in my room and think about how sad and depressed I am in this relationship and how much I hate it
I’m sorry to say that you are a victim of domestic abuse, whether or not he has physically hurt you. You should have the freedom to end the relationship and stick up for yourself without fear of repercussions, and he is not permitting that through use of emotional control, threat of violence and criminally damaging your possessions. It sounds like you have clocked this behaviour and have decided to end the relationship, which you should in no way feel guilty about - he has driven you to this and you’re not responsible for the repercussions on him or his mental health. It’s good that you have already called the police, as this starts a record of domestic abuse with them that you can use to your advantage.

There are a number of steps you can take, and they involve seeking outside help.
Firstly, if you or any other female members of your family feel threatened further, contact the Women’s Refuge in addition to the police - they will be able to talk to you about options and living situations. Keep a diary of the things your bf says & does so that you have an accurate record to show to the police or any other organisation that engages in helping you. You may wish to do this on your phone in a locked note so that he won’t come across it.
Secondly, contact the Citizens Advice who will be able to outline options specific to your local area. Some schemes will require a referral from an organisation such as this, and the Women’s Refuge may be one of them. They will also be able to help you understand legal options, such as restraining orders. Just because your bf lives with you doesn’t give him a right to remain there, and he should leave when requested, as long as he doesn’t have a stake in the property.
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/fa...nce-and-abuse/
Thirdly, contact some women’s charities to talk about your situation. Women’s Aid and the Domestic Abuse Helpline are particularly good, and the Citizens Advice will be able to suggest more options.
Fourthly, contact your GP ASAP to talk about your mental health. If you require counselling, the sooner you get on a waiting list the better, and sometimes it can feel good to talk about what you’re experiencing to someone else.
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brjf
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#5
Report 3 weeks ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
Me & my boyfriend have lived together for a year and we’ve known each-other a year he moved in after like 2 months I got pregnant after a month and I lost the baby which has affected me a lot mentally and how I feel towards him as after I lost the baby I went off him but still loved him

He started acting emotionally abusive towards me soon after 3/4 months when I didn’t want to have sex anymore for some reason and still don’t to this day but felt forced to as he said I didn’t love him if I didn’t want to have sex and I must think his penis is small (he’s obsessed with what I think about his penis)

Then it become worse I now notice I have 0 friends as he would get annoyed everytime I said I wanted to go out for drinks or to a club with them so I no longer have friends anymore

I’ve tried to break up with him about 20 times but because he has moved into my house of which I live with my Nan he would only be able to stay at his brothers who is 18 and lives in a house with hisgf and has a baby and it makes me feel bad but that’s not the worst part

The last time I tried to break up with him he destroyed my car causing 500£ worth of damage which still hasn’t been fixed yet to it and tried to strangle me and he owed me a lot of money, as well as threatening to kill him self and involved me calling 101 to make a report as he harassed me for days afterwards and would tell me he’s at a train station about to die and he told his family it’s all my fault he then proceeded to turn up at my house at 12 am and wouldn’t leave/ stop calling the door bell until I answered which ended in my Nan calling the police.

And I gave up as it was too much stress so I caved in as the police didn’t help enough to keep him away so he’s baxk here and it’s worse than ever, I hate it o feel so ducking miserable he goes to work all day so I have some time to Just sit in my room and think about how sad and depressed I am in this relationship and how much I hate it
I would call the police
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