would you date/ start/ have a relationship with that person?

Watch
Ackhnologia
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
Hi everyone
Hope you are doing well.
Girls, do you think you could date a guy who does not match your physical criterion? Let's say you do not find him physically attractive, and there is not really a sexual attraction either. Though, you find that he has a good personality. He is really a good, kind person to be with. You feel really special when with him. But physically, you do not feel any attraction at all; even if you lowered your standards, it would not be enough. Are you really sure you could date such guy and start a relationship just because of his personality? Guys, do you think you could date a girl who does not match your physical criterion? Let's say you do not find her physically attractive, and there is not really a sexual attraction either. Though, you find that she has a good personality. She is really a good, kind person to be with. You feel really special when with her. But physically, you do not feel any attraction at all; even if you lowered your standards, it would not be enough. Are you really sure you could date such girl and start a relationship just because of her personality?
0
reply
Nightligh
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#2
Report 4 weeks ago
#2
I mean it don’t hurt to try I dated worse in my life I will kinda date him as long I can meet his friends and family and he got a job and help me paying the bills and helping around the house and help me cook and set up the table and help me get the things I want I fine by that.
1
reply
Moonlight Rain
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#3
Report 4 weeks ago
#3
No I couldn't.
1
reply
Napp
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#4
Report 4 weeks ago
#4
I cant see how any relationship, of a romantic nature, could really work without a physical component where said girl, or guy for that matter, simply doesnt find the other attractive in the slightest?
Granted, some do manage to maintain relationships without a physical aspect but ive never heard of (nor understand how they could work) a relationship working where theres simply no attraction, which is a fairly key aspect.
5
reply
Educate_Yourself
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#5
Report 4 weeks ago
#5
She would be my friend but just not my girlfriend
2
reply
ROTL94
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#6
Report 4 weeks ago
#6
I don't know how anyone could be in a relationship where the physical elements of it were only done out of duty almost, not because of a genuine desire to do those things based on physical attraction (PA), PA is in my view an essential element of any happy relationship that will last more than a few years if even that.
4
reply
ashtolga23
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#7
Report 4 weeks ago
#7
I definitely could. The more I like someone's personality the more attractive I find them anyway, and I don't really have a 'type'.
2
reply
wav3rid3r
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#8
Report 4 weeks ago
#8
Not a girl, but no I wouldn't date someone I wasn't physically attracted to even if they were really nice. You need both emotional and physical compatibility for a relationship to work and I don't see something like that working in the long run. The person who doesn't feel the attraction will have to compromise on a lot.
1
reply
SlaveofAll
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#9
Report 4 weeks ago
#9
Can't (for now)
0
reply
Napp
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#10
Report 4 weeks ago
#10
(Original post by ashtolga23)
I definitely could. The more I like someone's personality the more attractive I find them anyway, and I don't really have a 'type'.
How would you maintain a romantic relationship, as opposed to a friendship, with someone you simply dont find attractive in any way, shape or form? Possibly even unattractive.
Its one thing to finds someone looking, shall we say, not the hottest but finding their personality makes up fore it but youd still find them attractive there. I dont see how if you found them to be positively ugly any romantic relationship could last?
Thats not even taking into account the feelings of the other person who would almost certainly take exception to be being found unattractive...
0
reply
ashtolga23
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#11
Report 4 weeks ago
#11
(Original post by Napp)
How would you maintain a romantic relationship, as opposed to a friendship, with someone you simply dont find attractive in any way, shape or form? Possibly even unattractive.
Its one thing to finds someone looking, shall we say, not the hottest but finding their personality makes up fore it but youd still find them attractive there. I dont see how if you found them to be positively ugly any romantic relationship could last?
Thats not even taking into account the feelings of the other person who would almost certainly take exception to be being found unattractive...
To me at least, the difference between romantic and platonic love is more than just physical attraction; the former is a far deeper connection, and a yearning almost.

To be honest there are people I have found unattractive at first sight who I then get to know, and somehow (I don't understand why) they genuinely begin to look more physically appealing to me. I have two theories about it, not sure if there's any actual research. Firstly, maybe if I find their personality very appealing, then my brain associates them with positivity all round. Secondly, maybe I adjust to their features if I previously found them unusual, same as when I usually hate a new haircut for the first few days but grow to like it when I get used to its appearance.

I guess it works both ways as well because I've heard plenty of people say their ex looks physically unattractive to them and they don't know what they ever saw in them.

On a sidenote, I think looks can blind people anyway sometimes. They think they love both their partner's looks and personality, but when the looks fade it may reveal some ugly truths, so to speak, that they were never as compatible as they believed.

TL;DR: I believe I can grow to find someone attractive. If I feel that deep, romantic connection with them then I genuinely think I would begin to like and appreciate their looks. I value the connection above any lust at first sight.
Last edited by ashtolga23; 4 weeks ago
1
reply
Napp
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#12
Report 4 weeks ago
#12
(Original post by ashtolga23)
To me at least, the difference between romantic and platonic love is more than just physical attraction; the former is a far deeper connection, and a yearning almost.

To be honest there are people I have found unattractive at first sight who I then get to know, and somehow (I don't understand why) they genuinely begin to look more physically appealing to me. I have two theories about it, not sure if there's any actual research. Firstly, maybe if I find their personality very appealing, then my brain associates them with positivity all round. Secondly, maybe I adjust to their features if I previously found them unusual, same as when I usually hate a new haircut for the first few days but grow to like it when I get used to its appearance.

I guess it works both ways as well because I've heard plenty of people say their ex looks physically unattractive to them and they don't know what they ever saw in them.

On a sidenote, I think looks can blind people anyway sometimes. They think they love both their partner's looks and personality, but when the looks fade it may reveal some ugly truths, so to speak, that they were never as compatible as they believed.

TL;DR: I believe I can grow to find someone attractive. If I feel that deep, romantic connection with them then I genuinely think I would begin to like and appreciate their looks. I value the connection above any lust at first sight
True say on most of that although it seems you run back into the problem that by that point you are physically attracted to them. It might have taken some time to get there and change your view on them but you are, nevertheless, attracted to them. Whereas someone who can never be physically attracted to the individual, as the OP seems to be talking about, remains more than a slight problem in ones view.[/quote]
0
reply
ashtolga23
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#13
Report 4 weeks ago
#13
(Original post by Napp)
True say on most of that although it seems you run back into the problem that by that point you are physically attracted to them. It might have taken some time to get there and change your view on them but you are, nevertheless, attracted to them. Whereas someone who can never be physically attracted to the individual, as the OP seems to be talking about, remains more than a slight problem in ones view.
Fair point. If I found someone truly repulsive (feel harsh saying it bu this person is only hypothetical lol) then yeah maybe not.
0
reply
1582
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#14
Report 4 weeks ago
#14
No, because there is no sexual attraction present in your scenario.

Even if someone is not conventionally attractive the person dating them still needs to personally be attracted to them.
0
reply
username5655466
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#15
Report 4 weeks ago
#15
No i wouldn't, why would i date someone I am not attracted to, for me that's just a good friend.
0
reply
Ackhnologia
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#16
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#16
(Original post by Nightligh)
I mean it don’t hurt to try I dated worse in my life I will kinda date him as long I can meet his friends and family and he got a job and help me paying the bills and helping around the house and help me cook and set up the table and help me get the things I want I fine by that.
Oh okay
That is good
I think.
Thank you.
0
reply
Ackhnologia
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#17
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#17
(Original post by Moonlight Rain)
No I couldn't.
Thank you.
You are honest.
0
reply
Ackhnologia
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#18
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#18
(Original post by Napp)
I cant see how any relationship, of a romantic nature, could really work without a physical component where said girl, or guy for that matter, simply doesnt find the other attractive in the slightest?
Granted, some do manage to maintain relationships without a physical aspect but ive never heard of (nor understand how they could work) a relationship working where theres simply no attraction, which is a fairly key aspect.
Yes
True.
Physically attraction is important.
Thank you.
0
reply
londonmyst
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#19
Report 3 weeks ago
#19
No.
I can usually tell whether I am sexually attracted to a guy within 30 seconds to 2 mins.
Most of my dealbreakers are focused on ambitions, choices and sexual compatibility but I do have a few physical dealbreakers.
1
reply
Ackhnologia
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#20
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#20
(Original post by ashtolga23)
I definitely could. The more I like someone's personality the more attractive I find them anyway, and I don't really have a 'type'.
Okay
So you do not mind physical appearance at all, providing you love their personality?
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Have you made your mind up on your five uni choices?

Yes, and I've sent off my application! (147)
54.65%
I've made my choices but havent sent my application yet (36)
13.38%
I've got a good idea about the choices I want to make (31)
11.52%
I'm researching but still not sure which universities I want to apply to (26)
9.67%
I haven't started researching yet (16)
5.95%
Something else (let us know in the thread!) (13)
4.83%

Watched Threads

View All