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He kissed someone else

I was using my bf phone to do some of my work cause my phone has some issues... so when I finished the work, decided to go through the pictures I took and I saw them and move past them to see other pictures and I saw a video of him kissing and squeezing another girl’s breast...she was sitting on his laps and they were just doing all that stuff... and I was so hurt. I confronted him and he said it was a dump mistake that he’s sorry and she doesn’t mean anything. But I don’t believe him anymore... and we are in a long distance relationship.. I don’t get to see him often, I travel to visit him sometimes which I did right now and I saw this video.. it really hurts so much. Don’t know what to do, do I forgive him ?

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Original post by Anonymous
I was using my bf phone to do some of my work cause my phone has some issues... so when I finished the work, decided to go through the pictures I took and I saw them and move past them to see other pictures and I saw a video of him kissing and squeezing another girl’s breast...she was sitting on his laps and they were just doing all that stuff... and I was so hurt. I confronted him and he said it was a dump mistake that he’s sorry and she doesn’t mean anything. But I don’t believe him anymore... and we are in a long distance relationship.. I don’t get to see him often, I travel to visit him sometimes which I did right now and I saw this video.. it really hurts so much. Don’t know what to do, do I forgive him ?

that's up to you but i'd dump his ass.
but ask him why he kept the pictures in his phone if she didn't mean anything
1 : Yea, should likely dump a cheat
2 : Don't rake through peoples phones, you'll never find anything nice and it undermines your own position. (I was being a sneak and I caught you being sneak!)
3 : LDRs with young people tend to always end this way, they're almost 'Pretend' imo.
Original post by StriderHort
1 : Yea, should likely dump a cheat
2 : Don't rake through peoples phones, you'll never find anything nice and it undermines your own position. (I was being a sneak and I caught you being sneak!)
3 : LDRs with young people tend to always end this way, they're almost 'Pretend' imo.

regarding point 2, atleast you know where you stand rather than being led on.. its better to snoop
Reply 4
Did you really just say 'should I forgive him'??? He literally cheated on you and you are considering forgiving him wow
Original post by user2313
Did you really just say 'should I forgive him'??? He literally cheated on you and you are considering forgiving him wow

Leaving someone you are attached to, can be difficult which is probably why OP is questioning.. because she loves him.
Original post by Anonymous
regarding point 2, atleast you know where you stand rather than being led on.. its better to snoop

Matter of opinion, there are other, straighter ways to find things out.

You simply CANNOT trust people that rake through phones/bags/pockets imo.
Original post by Anonymous
regarding point 2, atleast you know where you stand rather than being led on.. its better to snoop

It really isn't. Snooping and being distrustful WILL ruin your relationship - people are entitled to privacy. If someone's cheating on you you'll find out eventually one way or another.
Original post by StriderHort
Matter of opinion, there are other, straighter ways to find things out.

You simply CANNOT trust people that rake through phones/bags/pockets imo.

truuu

why not? If you trust them and love them a lot, why does it matter if they go through your ****?
Original post by Anonymous
truuu

why not? If you trust them and love them a lot, why does it matter if they go through your ****?

Personally I'd be insulted. It's a sign that they don't trust me.
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
It really isn't. Snooping and being distrustful WILL ruin your relationship - people are entitled to privacy. If someone's cheating on you you'll find out eventually one way or another.

its not really being distrustful imo.. especially since this relationship is LDR. The other person is supposed to know they are just clearing/comforting their insecurities...

it only becomes toxic if it becomes excessive
Anyway OP: I'm so sorry this has happened. I suspect that you will not really be able to trust him after this, and at that point, it's best and kindest to both of you to break up.
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
Personally I'd be insulted. It's a sign that they don't trust me.

each to their own, i suppose. But if they were didn't let me snoop, then i would take it as sign of hiding something... and would be turn-off :frown: especially since idm them going through my stuff
Original post by Anonymous
its not really being distrustful imo.. especially since this relationship is LDR. The other person is supposed to know they are just clearing/comforting their insecurities...

it only becomes toxic if it becomes excessive

You are of course entitled to your own opinion and your own style of relating to your partner. But for me, even going snooping once is an expression of distrust. It would be different if I let them look at things on my phone but if they went behind my back I wouldn't be happy at all.
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
You are of course entitled to your own opinion and your own style of relating to your partner. But for me, even going snooping once is an expression of distrust. It would be different if I let them look at things on my phone but if they went behind my back I wouldn't be happy at all.

maybe.. i guess im only saying idm coz if they find nothing, it would deffo strengthen the bond between us.. but idk.. just doing what i think is right xD
Original post by Anonymous
I was using my bf phone to do some of my work cause my phone has some issues... so when I finished the work, decided to go through the pictures I took and I saw them and move past them to see other pictures and I saw a video of him kissing and squeezing another girl’s breast...she was sitting on his laps and they were just doing all that stuff... and I was so hurt. I confronted him and he said it was a dump mistake that he’s sorry and she doesn’t mean anything. But I don’t believe him anymore... and we are in a long distance relationship.. I don’t get to see him often, I travel to visit him sometimes which I did right now and I saw this video.. it really hurts so much. Don’t know what to do, do I forgive him ?


Girl you deserve better
Original post by Anonymous
truuu

why not? If you trust them and love them a lot, why does it matter if they go through your ****?

Easy answer, YOU might be ok with your partner violating your privacy... but is everyone else you talk to ok with it? Highly unlikely. When I message someone, I take it a matter of trust I'm talking to them and THEM ONLY
Original post by StriderHort
Easy answer, YOU might be ok with your partner violating your privacy... but is everyone else you talk to ok with it? Highly unlikely. When I message someone, I take it a matter of trust I'm talking to them and THEM ONLY

Prsom
Original post by user2313
Did you really just say 'should I forgive him'??? He literally cheated on you and you are considering forgiving him wow

He said he didn’t sleep, that she just comes to visit and they make out... and make videos together😢
Original post by Anonymous
He said he didn’t sleep, that she just comes to visit and they make out... and make videos together😢

that's more than enough reason to dump his ass if you ask me

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