My parents are strict Muslims - how do I move out?

So I’m a 23 year old girl who just graduated from uni in July. I’ve been living out for uni and even went to Spain and Argentina for my year abroad. My parents weren’t thrilled but I pushed for it.

I moved home from my uni house mid August. Since moving home, I’ve felt my depression and BPD get increasingly worse. My bedroom only fits a bed and a wardrobe and it feels so claustrophobic to be in there. Small things that bought me joy such as playing Xbox on my TV and having a bath have been snatched from me. I’m also not Muslim, and I enjoy wearing what I like, smoking and going out. I can’t do any of these things at home. I have a 10pm curfew and my very move is watched and questioned. I feel like I’m in a cage.

I had a full time job which kept me busy and fulfilled, but I’ve been made redundant. I got a massive redundancy payout that I could use to support myself for about 6 months without a job if I moved out. Although I do have a few job prospects and would be starting a new job in November hopefully.

I’ve found a few houses that look incredible and would be within commuting distance of London, which is where I want to work. The only problem is, how do I tell my parents? They were fine with me moving out for uni, but now I’d be expected to stay home until I’m married. My sister is 27 and still lives at home.

TLDR;
1. I was allowed to move out for uni, but I’ve graduated now and expected to live at home until I’m married, like my older sister.

2. My home life has caused a flare up of my depression and BPD. And I lost my job which brought my joy.

3. I can support myself for 6 months without a job if I move out. Just unsure how to tell my parents I want to move out.

Reply 1

kyungsoo

13

hv u ever bought up moving out to ur parents b4? If they didnt react angrily then maybeee they could reluctantly let you go? but you know ur parents more than anyone, if you think they may completely freak out n stop u from moving n even working then u may want to reconsider telling them. I wasnt even allowed to move out for uni but the fact that they let stay away from home n go abroad tells me that theyre lenient. anwyays hope it goes well for u<3

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Just do what you want then. You are 23 been an adult for many years now.

Reply 3

Saira111

OP

2

Original post by kyungsoo

hv u ever bought up moving out to ur parents b4? If they didnt react angrily then maybeee they could reluctantly let you go? but you know ur parents more than anyone, if you think they may completely freak out n stop u from moving n even working then u may want to reconsider telling them. I wasnt even allowed to move out for uni but the fact that they let stay away from home n go abroad tells me that theyre lenient. anwyays hope it goes well for u<3

When I moved home a couple of months ago, I mentioned that I’d like to move closer to my job and they were annoyed but somewhat accepted it. But now I’m no longer working there, I’m worried that they’ll cut me off if I move out. I was thinking I could pretend I’ve been offered a job and move out anyway? I can support myself for at least 6 months without a job anyway

Reply 4

londonmyst

19

Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you. :smile:

I understand some of how you feel, I grew up in a violent & controlling hosuehold surrounded by unreasonable adults who imposed their long list of bizarre rules upon me.

Put your health and personal safety first.
If you believe that there is any risk of being punished or criminal attacked for planning to move out, don't tell any family members until you are safely far away and don't give them any information that they can use to find your new address.
I escaped from my parents before a levels were over, will never go back and am unlikely to ever speak to them again.
My only regret is that my mother swiped my life savings, trying to prevent me from being able to afford to get away.
Good luck!

Reply 5

kyungsoo

13

Original post by Saira111

When I moved home a couple of months ago, I mentioned that I’d like to move closer to my job and they were annoyed but somewhat accepted it. But now I’m no longer working there, I’m worried that they’ll cut me off if I move out. I was thinking I could pretend I’ve been offered a job and move out anyway? I can support myself for at least 6 months without a job anyway

If ur job is quite a long commute then maybe if u find a place then you could slowly move ur stuff there? n then when the time comes and everything is ready you could bring it up? i dont want to give u bad advice tho, hopefully they come around n accept u! Good luck w everything!

My parents are strict Muslims - how do I move out?

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