Slept with 2 guys after break up, now he's blocked me

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
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So I was with this guy for 8 months and I know it's not a long time but the feelings and the love I had for him was real, we were happy together or so I thought...
He had avoided me for a week before we broke up but told me he still wanted to be with me so it upset me and confused me. I finally went round to talk to him about the fact he'd really upset me, long story short he wouldn't talk to me and said I was forcing him into a relationship that wasn't going to work so we ended it.
This really hit me hard and instead of crying and over thinking it all, I jumped into bed with the closest guy friend I had to make myself feel better, this didn't help because all I could think about was my ex. So I stopped talking to this guy and a few days later then slept with someone I work with after a party. This wasn't supposed to happen but he offered his care and support and I took it because I missed my ex. We slept together twice over a few days but it felt wrong and it made me feel worse about things ending with my ex. I ended it and realized I wanted my ex back and I was going to reach out to him in a few weeks time. But...
Two weeks after my ex and I broke up, my ex messages me saying he wants to talk so I go round and he asked me whether I'd been with anyone and to promise that I hadn't, I couldn't lie to him so I told him about the first guy and he cried... I'd never seen him cry and panic like that before and it hurt seeing him like this because it just showed he did care about me. My ex told me that he loved me after this and I'd never even heard this from him before. We both cried and kissed and I thought everything was going to be okay but I'd not told him about the second guy.
I left that night without telling him and I know I shouldn't have done this but I didn't want to tell him and hurt him more than I had already. I also didn't want to make things worse. I know that was wrong.

I asked him to meet me because I had to tell him something and so I told him and he reacted how I thought he would and he was angry and upset about the fact I didn't tell him and the fact that it wasn't just one guy it was two within such a small space of time.
I told him I loved him and that I didn't think we were ever going to get back together which Is why I tried looking elsewhere to fill a whole but it didn't work and I cut them both off. He said that it was too much and now he's blocked me on everything and doesn't want me to contact him or speak to him ever again.
I was told by people if he truly loves me he will come back but this feels impossible and feels like I've messed up too much for it to even go back or start again.
Just want to know whether people think there's any hope for him coming back and me waiting or shall I just take time to grieve and then move on
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CaptainDuckie
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I wouldn’t say you’ve done anything wrong.

you simply wanted to be with him and then he rejected you... you have every right to move on.
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heermeet
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thats a good thing, he seems like a real bum. forget him and move on.
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AnonFromEu
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You want some truth bombs coming from a guy?

I have to disa-gree with the above comments, although technically you didn't cheat, you did dis-respect by sleeping with dudes after your little fit and you expect him to take you back just like that?

If I had a quick breakup with my girl over an arugment and she went ahead and slept with two guys in the mean time shortly after, then decided that she wanted me back, I would refuse no buts or ifs...


-You slept with the two guys because you were mad about the break-up and then you expected your way with you ex again.

Theres no winners in this case for either yourself or your ex-bf, you both lost when you decided to sleep with other guys so shortly after the break-up, you broke his heart and just like YOU youself, has every right to block you and move on on his side.

I know this post might come off as harsh as you are reading this.

However I do want to congratulate you for being honest with him. Honesty is key, as truth comes out, now you have to move on to better things in life to be frank.



OHHH and this is a PRIME example of why guys are hesistant on their gf having ''guy friends''.
In this istance you admitted to :

'' I jumped into bed with the closest guy friend I had to make myself feel better, this didn't help because all I could think about was my ex. So I stopped talking to this guy and a few days later then slept with someone I work with after a party.''

Your ''guy friends'' when just in reality back up plans for revenge/rebound etc.
Theres a reason why some people believe men & women cant be platonic friends...
Last edited by AnonFromEu; 3 weeks ago
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AnonFromEu
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(Original post by heermeet)
thats a good thing, he seems like a real bum. forget him and move on.
So hes the bum for rejecting his girl wanting him back, after she slept with two dudes?

THe man has the right to refuse such behaviour as much as the women.

No one is the complete right/wrong here.
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by AnonFromEu)
So hes the bum for rejecting his girl wanting him back, after she slept with two dudes?

The self-entitlement you have is disgusting.
THe man has the right to refuse such behaviour as much as the women.

No one is the complete right/wrong here.

she wanted to talk to him and he said that he doesn’t want to be forced into a relationship.
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AnonFromEu
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
she wanted to talk to him and he said that he doesn’t want to be forced into a relationship.
True , but the point still stands, she slept with two dudes regardless that sealed the deal into a confirmed ''no'' from the guy in pursuing anythign further, thats all, move on.
Last edited by AnonFromEu; 3 weeks ago
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by AnonFromEu)
True , but the point still stands, she slept with two dudes regardless that sealed the deal into a confirmed ''no'' from the guy, thats all, move on.

you contradict yourself... you begin to say you disagree with ‘above comments’ but then you agree through what you say.

OP has done nothing wrong. He rejected her, and then she moved on.
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AnonFromEu
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
you contradict yourself... you begin to say you disagree with ‘above comments’ but then you agree through what you say.

OP has done nothing wrong. He rejected her, and then she moved on.
I can change my mind when I make a mistake, or is that not possible in order to learn and grow no?

If she moved on, then she wouldnt be making this post in the first place.
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by AnonFromEu)
I can change my mind when I make a mistake, or is that not possible in order to learn and grow no?

If she moved on, then she wouldnt be making this post in the first place.

she moved on by sleeping with 2 guys at the time....
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heermeet
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(Original post by AnonFromEu)
So hes the bum for rejecting his girl wanting him back, after she slept with two dudes?

The self-entitlement you have is disgusting.
THe man has the right to refuse such behaviour as much as the women.

No one is the complete right/wrong here.
She wasn't his girl. Hes a bum for avoiding her for a week before they broke up, sending mixed messages and having the audacity to say she was 'forcing' a relationship on him only to start messaging her again after they broke up. Very typical of you males to ignore the important parts of the story.
He played with her and didn't know what he wanted until he lost her. She slept with two guys cos she was single at the time, why the hell shouldn't she bed someone else? She thought it was over at the time. You would be defending him if he slept with two girls whilst single.
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Allie4
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(Original post by AnonFromEu)
You want some truth bombs coming from a guy?

I have to disa-gree with the above comments, although technically you didn't cheat, you did dis-respect by sleeping with dudes after your little fit and you expect him to take you back just like that?
What little fit is that then? She merely tried to get over him, hes the one who technically had a little fit about not wanting to be in a relationship with her and trying to make out she was forcing him into it. There is no disrespect. If you think its over then you're completely within your right to do whatever you want. Its none of his business. Perhaps he shouldn't have broken up with her if he didn't like the thought of her going with other men.

If I had a quick breakup with my girl over an arugment and she went ahead and slept with two guys in the mean time shortly after, then decided that she wanted me back, I would refuse no buts or ifs...
Yet I'm guessing it would be a completely different story if you were the one who slept with two other girls after your ex broke up with you, right?

Theres no winners in this case for either yourself or your ex-bf, you both lost when you decided to sleep with other guys so shortly after the break-up, you broke his heart and just like YOU youself, has every right to block you and move on on his side.
Ha, what heart? He dumped her without a care in the world and hes the heartbroken one?

I know this post might come off as harsh as you are reading this.
It comes off as more of a joke and I doubt any girl is gonna take you seriously.
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Allie4
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Just grieve him and move on, he didn't seem worth it to begin with.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by AnonFromEu)
You want some truth bombs coming from a guy?

I have to disa-gree with the above comments, although technically you didn't cheat, you did dis-respect by sleeping with dudes after your little fit and you expect him to take you back just like that?

If I had a quick breakup with my girl over an arugment and she went ahead and slept with two guys in the mean time shortly after, then decided that she wanted me back, I would refuse no buts or ifs...


-You slept with the two guys because you were mad about the break-up and then you expected your way with you ex again.

Theres no winners in this case for either yourself or your ex-bf, you both lost when you decided to sleep with other guys so shortly after the break-up, you broke his heart and just like YOU youself, has every right to block you and move on on his side.

I know this post might come off as harsh as you are reading this.

However I do want to congratulate you for being honest with him. Honesty is key, as truth comes out, now you have to move on to better things in life to be frank.



OHHH and this is a PRIME example of why guys are hesistant on their gf having ''guy friends''.
In this istance you admitted to :

'' I jumped into bed with the closest guy friend I had to make myself feel better, this didn't help because all I could think about was my ex. So I stopped talking to this guy and a few days later then slept with someone I work with after a party.''

Your ''guy friends'' when just in reality back up plans for revenge/rebound etc.
Theres a reason why some people believe men & women cant be platonic friends...
I have to disagree . He rejected her and he ended it ofc she’s gonna be heartbroken . She has every right to feel the way she does . BUT he broke up
with her . He’s the one who ended it for whatever reason . So what should she do? Wait around until he magically appears? They was not together so she wasn’t wrong for sleeping with other people and seeing that he was the one who broke Up with her he ain’t got no right to be angry lmao. This guy has the mentality off “ hey I don’t want you but I don’t want anyone else to have you either “

I think he didn’t want her all along and was just waiting for the moment to have some reason to block her and ghost her like that . I think he’s cruel ngl . OP had a lucky escape . She deserves someone who is sure of her and is in it for the long run . Not someone who Is gonna waste 8 months of her life and then break up with her randomly .
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one_two_three
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Your ex has a bruised ego and that is his problem. He most likely expected you to be alone during that time and crying over him when the reality has been very different. But you two weren't together, there was no indication is was a break and every indication it was a permanent split so you had no loyalty to him at the time.

I think some males *AnonfromEu* being the typical example, will look upon this as something you shouldn't have done and that you are to blame. And if the situation was reversed and you were the male who had written this after being with 2 girls there would be a group of girls putting the blame on you. You slept with two guys which you clearly had no emotional attachment to given what you have said and so I don't see any issue with what you have done. I am going to assume you are still young and so don't worry about anything. You will find a guy that will let you know where you stand before 8months has gone by and who won't need to be upset over this sorts of things because he knows what he wants and he is going to dump you for 'a break'.
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Zarek
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Bearing in mind you’d split up you were under no obligation to tell him about either. Leave the ball in his court a while and see what happens. It all seems a bit angsty and you might be better with someone else
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kekedoyouloveme?
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I was with this guy for 8 months and I know it's not a long time but the feelings and the love I had for him was real, we were happy together or so I thought...
He had avoided me for a week before we broke up but told me he still wanted to be with me so it upset me and confused me. I finally went round to talk to him about the fact he'd really upset me, long story short he wouldn't talk to me and said I was forcing him into a relationship that wasn't going to work so we ended it.
This really hit me hard and instead of crying and over thinking it all, I jumped into bed with the closest guy friend I had to make myself feel better, this didn't help because all I could think about was my ex. So I stopped talking to this guy and a few days later then slept with someone I work with after a party. This wasn't supposed to happen but he offered his care and support and I took it because I missed my ex. We slept together twice over a few days but it felt wrong and it made me feel worse about things ending with my ex. I ended it and realized I wanted my ex back and I was going to reach out to him in a few weeks time. But...
Two weeks after my ex and I broke up, my ex messages me saying he wants to talk so I go round and he asked me whether I'd been with anyone and to promise that I hadn't, I couldn't lie to him so I told him about the first guy and he cried... I'd never seen him cry and panic like that before and it hurt seeing him like this because it just showed he did care about me. My ex told me that he loved me after this and I'd never even heard this from him before. We both cried and kissed and I thought everything was going to be okay but I'd not told him about the second guy.
I left that night without telling him and I know I shouldn't have done this but I didn't want to tell him and hurt him more than I had already. I also didn't want to make things worse. I know that was wrong.

I asked him to meet me because I had to tell him something and so I told him and he reacted how I thought he would and he was angry and upset about the fact I didn't tell him and the fact that it wasn't just one guy it was two within such a small space of time.
I told him I loved him and that I didn't think we were ever going to get back together which Is why I tried looking elsewhere to fill a whole but it didn't work and I cut them both off. He said that it was too much and now he's blocked me on everything and doesn't want me to contact him or speak to him ever again.
I was told by people if he truly loves me he will come back but this feels impossible and feels like I've messed up too much for it to even go back or start again.
Just want to know whether people think there's any hope for him coming back and me waiting or shall I just take time to grieve and then move on
It's so hard to tell if he loved you, you might've saw it in the panic and when he cried.

They say it's something when a man cries in front of a girl although my ex would cry every-time he'd mess up.

You didn't do anything wrong and it's so harsh, what you did after the breakup shouldn't be any of his business he broke up with you, not the other way around.

I'd understand why he'd be upset about it, I know in the past I would've cried to if I wanted my ex back, but I'd never have ended things with them the way your ex did.

I think you just need time, I know jumping to a guy is really tempting especially when you think it might replace the love you had or be a second best option, but it hurts you even more and you start comparing new people to your ex and you don't deserve it and they don't deserve it.

I used to go around the exact day after I had a breakup telling other boys I liked them and it never went far because I always lead them on and that wasn't fair on them.
Last edited by kekedoyouloveme?; 3 weeks ago
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Delusion6
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When a guy genuinely loves his woman he does everything he can to make the relationship work. When hes looking for ways out it means he was just not that into you to begin with or - the more likely scenario - he either met someone that he wanted to pursue or was eager to go out and play the field a little. So lets not make him out to be the victim here. He pushed you to break up but then when he found out that there was no other options for him out there typically he came crawling back and had the nerve to ask you to promise that you hadn't been with anyone else.

His tears may have been from heartbreak or they could have been from the disappointment in knowing that you managed to achieve something he couldn't and that you didn't spend your weeks crying yourself to sleep over him. The average guy thinks hes that special and that she will struggle to move on from him. Your actions just proved to him that there will always be options for you out there even if he doesn't want you. Thats why hes really upset. And he blocked you cos his ego can't handle it.

Lesson learned from all of this - you weren't a good match. And theres plenty of fish in the sea. Just close this chapter and start a new one with someone else.
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1582
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I was told by people if he truly loves me...
This is a line young people tend to throw around a lot, but in truth you cannot measure whether or not someone really loved you like this. People can only take so much and there comes a point where they have to put their own needs and self-respect ahead of that other person and separate from them. It has nothing to do with whether or not they truly loved that person but about needing to do what they feel is the right thing. It's not easy on either party.

Whether or not he loves you aside, he feels this relationship is not going to work and his feelings are valid. Honestly, his first mistake was coming back the first time. I'm sure you're a perfectly lovely person, but he knew a relationship with you wasn't going to work and yet he tried to force it again anyway and accepted conditions he wasn't really okay with.

You're better off without each other. At this point you'd be returning to someone who judges you for sleeping around - and he will lord that over you anytime you get into a fight because it is clear he thinks this was poor behaviour. For the record, you did absolutely nothing wrong. It is perfectly fine for a single person to sleep with multiple people - just remember to always use barrier protection if you do!

There will be other men out there, and it could easily take a good 2-6 months to get over someone you were with for 8 months. It will be hard for both of you. This relationship unfortunately isn't meant to be though. You'll both be happier with other people once you've taken the time to properly heal.
Last edited by 1582; 3 weeks ago
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Moonlight Rain
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He sounds SO annoying. How did he tell you he isn't ready for a relationship so you broke up but then get angry when you sleep with someone else after you break up? The guy sounds tapped and controlling.
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