Keirahartleyy
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I started uni of sussex on Saturday and moved in, the first few hours were okay, then I didn’t stop crying and didn’t eat or sleep and ended up going home on the Monday. I only live about an hour train ride away, I live @ my boyfriends house with his family (he’s in the navy) and have grown to love living here. I’m undecided as to whether stay @ uni of sussex in the accommodation, and I’m sure I would get used to it eventually but I would be coming home every weekend to see my boyfriend as I barely get to see him as it is. I don’t see the point in paying loads and loads for accommodation which I won’t be in for half the week, and paying train fares back on top of that. I’m not the biggest going out person (hence coming home for freshers week 😂) and I rlly don’t think I would be missing out if I didn’t live in dorms. I’m very happy chilling @ home with my bfs family and dog watching Netflix. I kinda already want to transfer to a uni closer to me that I could catch the train into everyday (only 20 mins) and get my degree, possibly meet up with a few friends during the week but mainly chill and get a job and work alongside uni. It would mean I could see my bf a lot more and cut out all the travelling. The only thing I’m worried about is regretting it? During sixth form I went to school came back and chilled and really didn’t mind it. Especially as clubbing and drinking isn’t my thing. I feel as though as an 18 year old I feel the pressure to love going out and having the “uni experience” but idk if that is for me. The idea of staying home seems more suited to me. I just don’t know what to do and honestly haven’t stopped crying since I moved in(and even when I came home) I just feel so so confused. Just kinda looking for some advice on what to do and peoples experiences living @ home vs dorms. I get i might only be feeling like this due to the initial shock of moving in and people say I will have to move out one day, but I just don’t know if im ready yet :/Any advice would be appreciated
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University of Portsmouth Student Rep
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(Original post by Keirahartleyy)
I started uni of sussex on Saturday and moved in, the first few hours were okay, then I didn’t stop crying and didn’t eat or sleep and ended up going home on the Monday. I only live about an hour train ride away, I live @ my boyfriends house with his family (he’s in the navy) and have grown to love living here. I’m undecided as to whether stay @ uni of sussex in the accommodation, and I’m sure I would get used to it eventually but I would be coming home every weekend to see my boyfriend as I barely get to see him as it is. I don’t see the point in paying loads and loads for accommodation which I won’t be in for half the week, and paying train fares back on top of that. I’m not the biggest going out person (hence coming home for freshers week 😂) and I rlly don’t think I would be missing out if I didn’t live in dorms. I’m very happy chilling @ home with my bfs family and dog watching Netflix. I kinda already want to transfer to a uni closer to me that I could catch the train into everyday (only 20 mins) and get my degree, possibly meet up with a few friends during the week but mainly chill and get a job and work alongside uni. It would mean I could see my bf a lot more and cut out all the travelling. The only thing I’m worried about is regretting it? During sixth form I went to school came back and chilled and really didn’t mind it. Especially as clubbing and drinking isn’t my thing. I feel as though as an 18 year old I feel the pressure to love going out and having the “uni experience” but idk if that is for me. The idea of staying home seems more suited to me. I just don’t know what to do and honestly haven’t stopped crying since I moved in(and even when I came home) I just feel so so confused. Just kinda looking for some advice on what to do and peoples experiences living @ home vs dorms. I get i might only be feeling like this due to the initial shock of moving in and people say I will have to move out one day, but I just don’t know if im ready yet :/Any advice would be appreciated
Hi!
I completely understand where you're coming from and starting uni is a super difficult transition stage.
When I started my first year (last year) I cried for about a week straight. I didn't want to leave my room and dreaded the thought of living on my own so much that I even considered just dropping out of uni. The best thing for me to do was to get myself up and out of my room and try to make friends and occupy my days rather than just moping around in my room. Even moving into my second year accommodation this year I cried the first few days.
I think the hardest part of moving to uni is the first few weeks before lectures actually start. It's a weird transition faze where you're not really sure what to do or how to occupy yourself because you don't have a scheduled routine. I found it a lot easier when my mind was occupied, so actually starting lectures gave me something to take my mind off the overwhelming feeling of missing home. I'm 100% not a clubber or drinker either and completely get where you're coming from with the pressure to love going out. But it definitely doesn't have to be like that. If you find the right group of friends who understand that that sort of thing isn't for you then it's great!
I don't think staying at home is the wrong decision by any means if you strongly feel that you want to live at home - especially if you'll still be attending a university.
But do bear in mind that it is the initial stages that are the worst and it definitely gets easier. Not feeling ready is a part of moving out. I felt sick, nervous, terrified, all the feelings you could imagine when I first moved. As much as you try to prepare yourself, it will always come as a shock and you'll never be 100% prepared.
At the end of the day it's down to how you feel. If it's the right decision for you then you won't regret it.
Hope this helps!
Michaela - UoP Rep
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Keirahartleyy
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(Original post by University of Portsmouth Student Rep)
Hi!
I completely understand where you're coming from and starting uni is a super difficult transition stage.
When I started my first year (last year) I cried for about a week straight. I didn't want to leave my room and dreaded the thought of living on my own so much that I even considered just dropping out of uni. The best thing for me to do was to get myself up and out of my room and try to make friends and occupy my days rather than just moping around in my room. Even moving into my second year accommodation this year I cried the first few days.
I think the hardest part of moving to uni is the first few weeks before lectures actually start. It's a weird transition faze where you're not really sure what to do or how to occupy yourself because you don't have a scheduled routine. I found it a lot easier when my mind was occupied, so actually starting lectures gave me something to take my mind off the overwhelming feeling of missing home. I'm 100% not a clubber or drinker either and completely get where you're coming from with the pressure to love going out. But it definitely doesn't have to be like that. If you find the right group of friends who understand that that sort of thing isn't for you then it's great!
I don't think staying at home is the wrong decision by any means if you strongly feel that you want to live at home - especially if you'll still be attending a university.
But do bear in mind that it is the initial stages that are the worst and it definitely gets easier. Not feeling ready is a part of moving out. I felt sick, nervous, terrified, all the feelings you could imagine when I first moved. As much as you try to prepare yourself, it will always come as a shock and you'll never be 100% prepared.
At the end of the day it's down to how you feel. If it's the right decision for you then you won't regret it.
Hope this helps!
Michaela - UoP Rep
Thank you so so much! Made me feel a bit better.

Do u recon it’s worth sticking it out then and seeing if it gets better? And worst case scenario if I rlly hated it I could drop out and try again next year - I’m trying to not put too much pressure on myself and if it doesn’t go to plan then I can just try again next year. I will go home every weekend and I’m just worried that might affect me making proper friends :/
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hrtpjm
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(Original post by Keirahartleyy)
I started uni of sussex on Saturday and moved in, the first few hours were okay, then I didn’t stop crying and didn’t eat or sleep and ended up going home on the Monday. I only live about an hour train ride away, I live @ my boyfriends house with his family (he’s in the navy) and have grown to love living here. I’m undecided as to whether stay @ uni of sussex in the accommodation, and I’m sure I would get used to it eventually but I would be coming home every weekend to see my boyfriend as I barely get to see him as it is. I don’t see the point in paying loads and loads for accommodation which I won’t be in for half the week, and paying train fares back on top of that. I’m not the biggest going out person (hence coming home for freshers week 😂) and I rlly don’t think I would be missing out if I didn’t live in dorms. I’m very happy chilling @ home with my bfs family and dog watching Netflix. I kinda already want to transfer to a uni closer to me that I could catch the train into everyday (only 20 mins) and get my degree, possibly meet up with a few friends during the week but mainly chill and get a job and work alongside uni. It would mean I could see my bf a lot more and cut out all the travelling. The only thing I’m worried about is regretting it? During sixth form I went to school came back and chilled and really didn’t mind it. Especially as clubbing and drinking isn’t my thing. I feel as though as an 18 year old I feel the pressure to love going out and having the “uni experience” but idk if that is for me. The idea of staying home seems more suited to me. I just don’t know what to do and honestly haven’t stopped crying since I moved in(and even when I came home) I just feel so so confused. Just kinda looking for some advice on what to do and peoples experiences living @ home vs dorms. I get i might only be feeling like this due to the initial shock of moving in and people say I will have to move out one day, but I just don’t know if im ready yet :/Any advice would be appreciated
just do what your gut tells you will make your happiest. everyone matures and grows up at different rates and has a different comfort zone when it comes to these things so don't pressure yourself to do sth just bc others are doing the same.
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University of Portsmouth Student Rep
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(Original post by Keirahartleyy)
Thank you so so much! Made me feel a bit better.

Do u recon it’s worth sticking it out then and seeing if it gets better? And worst case scenario if I rlly hated it I could drop out and try again next year - I’m trying to not put too much pressure on myself and if it doesn’t go to plan then I can just try again next year. I will go home every weekend and I’m just worried that might affect me making proper friends :/
I would maybe suggest sticking it out for a little longer until your lectures start and you get into a routine a little more.
Like you said, if you still decide it’s not for you then that’s completely fine and you can try again next year or even try to transfer to another uni closer to home.
Going home every weekend may mean that you don’t make as close friends, but it definitely won’t stop you from making friends. There will be people on your course that you can make friends with. Having course mates makes lectures a lot easier as you have someone to talk to in class and can socialise with them as and when you want.
I am in a long distance relationship and was in my first year so I understand the feeling of wanting to go home but also not wanting to miss out. But, like I said before, if you find the right group of friends they’ll understand. You can still socialise by doing study sessions together, doing things during the week (uni isn’t 24/7 so there’s always time during the weekend for down time). You can chill with your flat mates, play games, cook together, just enjoy uni.
At the end of the day it is your decision but my advice would be to wait a little longer. It takes different people different amounts of time to settle into uni life and that’s completely fine - it may just take you a little longer than you expected.
Hope this helps!
Michaela - UoP Rep
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Keirahartleyy
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(Original post by hrtpjm)
just do what your gut tells you will make your happiest. everyone matures and grows up at different rates and has a different comfort zone when it comes to these things so don't pressure yourself to do sth just bc others are doing the same.
Thank you, this is the problem tho, one second my gut tells me to stay home and another I should give it a go. I just am so so confused and have had barely any sleep, and not been eating for the past week because I feel so confused. I just don’t wanna regret not moving away and therefore I should give it a try but equally there is only so much time I can give before I’m unable to transfer uni cos it will be too late
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Keirahartleyy
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(Original post by University of Portsmouth Student Rep)
I would maybe suggest sticking it out for a little longer until your lectures start and you get into a routine a little more.
Like you said, if you still decide it’s not for you then that’s completely fine and you can try again next year or even try to transfer to another uni closer to home.
Going home every weekend may mean that you don’t make as close friends, but it definitely won’t stop you from making friends. There will be people on your course that you can make friends with. Having course mates makes lectures a lot easier as you have someone to talk to in class and can socialise with them as and when you want.
I am in a long distance relationship and was in my first year so I understand the feeling of wanting to go home but also not wanting to miss out. But, like I said before, if you find the right group of friends they’ll understand. You can still socialise by doing study sessions together, doing things during the week (uni isn’t 24/7 so there’s always time during the weekend for down time). You can chill with your flat mates, play games, cook together, just enjoy uni.
At the end of the day it is your decision but my advice would be to wait a little longer. It takes different people different amounts of time to settle into uni life and that’s completely fine - it may just take you a little longer than you expected.
Hope this helps!
Michaela - UoP Rep
Thank you so much! I think I am going to try and stick it out. I’m heading back up to uni on Sunday to go there for the first week of lectures, I might go speak to someone on campus about how I’m feeling.

Quick question: do u know how long I can leave it before I can’t transfer? I was thinking of giving sussex 2 weeks to fully see if I can settle in when lectures start but I’m worried by then it will be too late and I won’t be able to transfer unis. As ur a uoP rep, which is relatively close to me; how long for example is portsmouth transfer time?
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University of Portsmouth Student Rep
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(Original post by Keirahartleyy)
Thank you so much! I think I am going to try and stick it out. I’m heading back up to uni on Sunday to go there for the first week of lectures, I might go speak to someone on campus about how I’m feeling.

Quick question: do u know how long I can leave it before I can’t transfer? I was thinking of giving sussex 2 weeks to fully see if I can settle in when lectures start but I’m worried by then it will be too late and I won’t be able to transfer unis. As ur a uoP rep, which is relatively close to me; how long for example is portsmouth transfer time?
That sounds like a good idea to me!
So you can transfer uni anytime throughout the year but there are some things to consider.
You may want to contact the uni you’re looking at transferring to to see what entry requirements they have, whether they have space on your course, and whether they accept transfers (most unis do but I would just check to make sure).
In terms of when you transfer, if you do it within the first month or so, I would guess that you would be able to transfer to the same course and just carry on from where you left off (this is circumstantial so it depends on the uni and the course so may be something worth contacting the uni about). If you left it later than a term, they may ask you to apply for next years entry instead.
Hope this helps!
Michaela - UoP Rep
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megan_barton
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Hi!! I am currently a first year at the Uni of Sussex as well! I am living at home and commuting in (I live in a small town called Hailsham about 40 min drive away). If you needed someone to talk to, you could always drop me a message on snap @megz.moo7 I haven't been clubbing because I don't really enjoy it either!
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Kingston University
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(Original post by Keirahartleyy)
I started uni of sussex on Saturday and moved in, the first few hours were okay, then I didn’t stop crying and didn’t eat or sleep and ended up going home on the Monday. I only live about an hour train ride away, I live @ my boyfriends house with his family (he’s in the navy) and have grown to love living here. I’m undecided as to whether stay @ uni of sussex in the accommodation, and I’m sure I would get used to it eventually but I would be coming home every weekend to see my boyfriend as I barely get to see him as it is. I don’t see the point in paying loads and loads for accommodation which I won’t be in for half the week, and paying train fares back on top of that. I’m not the biggest going out person (hence coming home for freshers week 😂) and I rlly don’t think I would be missing out if I didn’t live in dorms. I’m very happy chilling @ home with my bfs family and dog watching Netflix. I kinda already want to transfer to a uni closer to me that I could catch the train into everyday (only 20 mins) and get my degree, possibly meet up with a few friends during the week but mainly chill and get a job and work alongside uni. It would mean I could see my bf a lot more and cut out all the travelling. The only thing I’m worried about is regretting it? During sixth form I went to school came back and chilled and really didn’t mind it. Especially as clubbing and drinking isn’t my thing. I feel as though as an 18 year old I feel the pressure to love going out and having the “uni experience” but idk if that is for me. The idea of staying home seems more suited to me. I just don’t know what to do and honestly haven’t stopped crying since I moved in(and even when I came home) I just feel so so confused. Just kinda looking for some advice on what to do and peoples experiences living @ home vs dorms. I get i might only be feeling like this due to the initial shock of moving in and people say I will have to move out one day, but I just don’t know if im ready yet :/Any advice would be appreciated
Hello there

First of all, I want to say that here is no right or wrong way to go to uni and this especially applies to your living situation. Living on halls isn’t better than living at home and vice versa, rather, each situation depends solely on you.

The best part of living on halls is that you won't need to worry about train times, etc. You will probably meet more people living on halls, however, you can still join some clubs and societies and meet loads of people.

I would recommend you to give be at least a month, if after that you are still feeling the same, then there is no point to stay in a place where you are not feeling happy, so if you are feeling really sad and homesick right now maybe move back home, there will be plenty of time to move out!

I hope this helps!
Best wishes
Andrea
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