Anonymous #1
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I am repeating my dissertation and I emailed my supervisor to ask her can she help me with my project this year too and she never replied, its made me really upset and I'm panicking because now I don't know what to do with my project because when you repeat your dissertation your supervisor is supposed to be the same as the first time, I can't email the leader to tell her she is ignoring me so I don't know what to do. It also isn't helping that I think I might be in love with her and feel like my heart is broken. I need help
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Mr Wednesday
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I am repeating my dissertation and I emailed my supervisor to ask her can she help me with my project this year too and she never replied, its made me really upset and I'm panicking because now I don't know what to do with my project because when you repeat your dissertation your supervisor is supposed to be the same as the first time, I can't email the leader to tell her she is ignoring me so I don't know what to do. It also isn't helping that I think I might be in love with her and feel like my heart is broken. I need help
TBH that “I think I might be in love with her “ does not sound healthy. It’s entirely possible your previous supervisor has not been assigned to look after your retake project (these things take significant teaching time and are not done informally), may be on leave or has left the university if you have not had any contact with them for an extended period. If that “love” thing was at all visible to them, they are most likely going to be very averse to acting as your supervisor again and understandably so.

You say “I can't email the leader”, why not. It’s the obvious thing to do and the best way of sorting out the situation.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Mr Wednesday)
TBH that “I think I might be in love with her “ does not sound healthy. It’s entirely possible your previous supervisor has not been assigned to look after your retake project (these things take significant teaching time and are not done informally), may be on leave or has left the university if you have not had any contact with them for an extended period. If that “love” thing was at all visible to them, they are most likely going to be very averse to acting as your supervisor again and understandably so.

You say “I can't email the leader”, why not. It’s the obvious thing to do and the best way of sorting out the situation.
I emailed the leader and she said my supervisor is the same as last year, and that she knows I am resitting. but she hasn't replied to me,
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Mr Wednesday
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I emailed the leader and she said my supervisor is the same as last year, and that she knows I am resitting. but she hasn't replied to me,
Ok, so you need to go back to the course leader on this, it’s their job to sort out this kind of staff-student problem. Be aware however that the “I think I might be in love with her” issue - if the supervisor is aware - may well mean that they are extremely uncomfortable about your contacting them. Were there any “issues” related to this 1st time round ?

Also how did you fail the dissertation 1st time, is this a capped re-sit ? Are you required to do an entirely new project or just a resubmission of the write up ?
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StriderHort
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I wouldn't expect a supervisor to be allocating time to you this early in the year anyway

As said above, It's possible you've made this staff member feel uncomfortable or unable to continue a professional relationship with you.
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University of Derby
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I am repeating my dissertation and I emailed my supervisor to ask her can she help me with my project this year too and she never replied, its made me really upset and I'm panicking because now I don't know what to do with my project because when you repeat your dissertation your supervisor is supposed to be the same as the first time, I can't email the leader to tell her she is ignoring me so I don't know what to do. It also isn't helping that I think I might be in love with her and feel like my heart is broken. I need help
Hi there,

Sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds as though It may be best to speak to some other members of the university. Have you tried student services? I have read some of the replies and it sounds like you have tried your programme leader, but I would encourage you to try them again, because your performance is in their best interest. Give it another go, and if that fails, you could try speaking to student services or a similar team.

Best of luck!

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Anonymous #1
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so I emailed the leader, her boss and asked her, and her boss emailed her and she told her she couldn't help me, she never bothered to answer me herself. What a horrible person haha, she knows I have anxiety and ocd as it is
(Original post by StriderHort)
I wouldn't expect a supervisor to be allocating time to you this early in the year anyway

As said above, It's possible you've made this staff member feel uncomfortable or unable to continue a professional relationship with you.
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PhoenixFortune
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(Original post by Anonymous)
so I emailed the leader, her boss and asked her, and her boss emailed her and she told her she couldn't help me, she never bothered to answer me herself. What a horrible person haha, she knows I have anxiety and ocd as it is
That sounds like she knows about your feelings then, hence her blunt response. She may have been told not to work with you again. Is there anyone else at your university that could be assigned to you?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by PhoenixFortune)
That sounds like she knows about your feelings then, hence her blunt response. She may have been told not to work with you again. Is there anyone else at your university that could be assigned to you?
How could she know? She left in April as she got sick and I took it very badly, and was assigned a new supervisor but didn't really contact him or do any work after wards then I decided to repeat the dissertation in September. Do you think she thinks I am repeating the dissertation just to see her again?
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PhoenixFortune
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(Original post by Anonymous)
How could she know? She left in April as she got sick and I took it very badly, and was assigned a new supervisor but didn't really contact him or do any work after wards then I decided to repeat the dissertation in September. Do you think she thinks I am repeating the dissertation just to see her again?
So she isn't your supervisor anymore, this new academic is, so you should be contacting him for help. I don't think she'd ever think you'd purposefully fail work in order to see her again - unless that's what you actually did...
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StriderHort
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(Original post by Anonymous)
so I emailed the leader, her boss and asked her, and her boss emailed her and she told her she couldn't help me, she never bothered to answer me herself. What a horrible person haha, she knows I have anxiety and ocd as it is
To put it mildly, you sound all over the place and have strong, inconsistent and unprofessional feelings for this staff member, I don't think they're the one being horrible.
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Mr Wednesday
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(Original post by StriderHort)
To put it mildly, you sound all over the place and have strong, inconsistent and unprofessional feelings for this staff member, I don't think they're the one being horrible.
There are times to hit “Eject” on staff-student interactions, this really does sound like one of them from the supervisors perspective.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Mr Wednesday)
There are times to hit “Eject” on staff-student interactions, this really does sound like one of them from the supervisors perspective.
I did nothing to make her think I like her, I am a girl, very quiet and shy. she would have had no idea other than they fact I got really upset when she left in April and had to see my psychiatrist.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by StriderHort)
To put it mildly, you sound all over the place and have strong, inconsistent and unprofessional feelings for this staff member, I don't think they're the one being horrible.
how am I being horrible? I don't think I gave her any indication I liked her, I am extremely shy and quiet I am also a girl, other than missing all my lectures all year due to anxiety but turning up to every one of her supervisions no matter what, and getting so upset when she left I had to see my psychiatrist and interrupt my studies.
all I did was email her and ask her if she could supervise me again this year, even though I wasn't supposed to need to even ask her because when you repeat the dissertation your supervisor isn't supposed to change. then she removed me from her the list of students she supervises, left me down at the bottom after all the students in the year. made me feel so **** and worthless.
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PhoenixFortune
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(Original post by Anonymous)
all I did was email her and ask her if she could supervise me again this year, even though I wasn't supposed to need to even ask her because when you repeat the dissertation your supervisor isn't supposed to change. then she removed me from her the list of students she supervises, left me down at the bottom after all the students in the year. made me feel so **** and worthless.
You said a different supervisor was allocated to you when she was on leave, so your same supervisor is actually the second one you were allocated. That's why she's removed you from her supervisee list.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by PhoenixFortune)
You said a different supervisor was allocated to you when she was on leave, so your same supervisor is actually the second one you were allocated. That's why she's removed you from her supervisee list.
no the supervisor that took over from her was only temporary,
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by PhoenixFortune)
So she isn't your supervisor anymore, this new academic is, so you should be contacting him for help. I don't think she'd ever think you'd purposefully fail work in order to see her again - unless that's what you actually did...
well basically when she went on leave I interrupted my studies so I could come back in September when she was back, I could have submitted it in august but interrupted my studies in June
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StriderHort
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(Original post by Anonymous)
how am I being horrible? I don't think I gave her any indication I liked her, I am extremely shy and quiet I am also a girl, other than missing all my lectures all year due to anxiety but turning up to every one of her supervisions no matter what, and getting so upset when she left I had to see my psychiatrist and interrupt my studies.
all I did was email her and ask her if she could supervise me again this year, even though I wasn't supposed to need to even ask her because when you repeat the dissertation your supervisor isn't supposed to change. then she removed me from her the list of students she supervises, left me down at the bottom after all the students in the year. made me feel so **** and worthless.
Well I didn't directly call you horrible, but it's barely a month into the new academic year and you have already made a complaint against the lecturer you apparently love for not giving you attention that could destroy their career. It's not great.

You're painting us a picture of an extremely broken student - teacher relationship with unhealthy attachment and perspective on your part (you needed a psychiatrist when they took a leave of absence from work, that's messed up).

And to be clear, if you are again, telling us how severe your life reactions are to this person, it's really hard to believe you haven't directly or indirectly broadcast your feelings to them in some way that they can't professionally ignore.
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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I feel for you OP, as I have experienced similar feelings/situations during my years at uni :console: You sound like you're in a lot of pain

It does sound as though the supervisor has somehow got wind of your feelings for her - either that or she is still not fully recovered and can't take on the responsibility of supervising you at present. Either way, it doesn't really matter what her reasoning is. My advice would be to try and see past the hurt and not contact her again.

As horrible as it is to feel the way you are feeling right now, it is important not to lose focus on the task at hand, i.e. completing your dissertation and getting your degree finished. What support do you have in place to do that atm? Are you having any therapy or counselling atm? Do you receive DSA (Disabled Students' Allowance), given your mental health diagnoses?

Hard as it is, you need to work with the second person who was appointed your supervisor and do your best to muddle through to finish your degree. It's very easy to let the pain overcome you but you are unlikely to forgive yourself further down the line, for not giving the dissertation your best shot at this stage. You want to leave uni with the best grade you can
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