Is 3rd year too late to make close friendships from scratch?
I have a fair amount of friends at uni, but I'm not particularly close with any of them. It feels like, unlike everyone else I know, I haven't met the 'friends for life' at uni I had hoped to, which has left me feeling quite isolated. None of my home friends have met any of my uni friends and it makes me quite embarrassed when they ask about coming up to visit to meet my uni friends (or vice versa during the holidays).
I really made an effort to put myself out there in 1st and 2nd year but nothing really sticked beyond a fairly shallow friendship. Struggling to find a tight-knit group that I could do everything with, I kind of became a social hermit and had to be particularly proactive if I wanted to meet up with people. Without these close friendships the social side of uni has been a bit lacking and not quite as exciting as I hoped it would, so I really want to make up for it as much as I can in my final year.
I'm thinking of joining a new society to meet some new people, and will try to rekindle some of my other friendships from 1st and 2nd year, but I'm worried it might be too late? Any advice or success stories? Thanks
I really made an effort to put myself out there in 1st and 2nd year but nothing really sticked beyond a fairly shallow friendship. Struggling to find a tight-knit group that I could do everything with, I kind of became a social hermit and had to be particularly proactive if I wanted to meet up with people. Without these close friendships the social side of uni has been a bit lacking and not quite as exciting as I hoped it would, so I really want to make up for it as much as I can in my final year.
I'm thinking of joining a new society to meet some new people, and will try to rekindle some of my other friendships from 1st and 2nd year, but I'm worried it might be too late? Any advice or success stories? Thanks
Please join a society and get involved as much as you can in final year. Even if it’s not someone on your course, you still have the opportunity to meet friends.
I had the exact same experience as you at uni (just graduated), I had a few friends there but not like a proper connection where we had each others numbers or arranged to meet up or anything! Just literally spoke during lessons, breaks and on the bus but that was literally it!
It was hard because they had met friends in other societies they were closer with or had flat mates and so didn’t feel the need to ever invite me out anywhere as they had plenty of options. I had none but this was all my own fault because I didn’t get involved like I should have, I didn’t join one society or put myself out like I wish I had now!
Don’t beat yourself up though, it’s been a difficult two years and the fact you’ve missed a lot of uni because of COVID means you didn’t have the experience others did! It’s a real shame to blame everything on COVID but that really didn’t help with meeting others and socialising! Do what you can now, you still have plenty of time.
I had the exact same experience as you at uni (just graduated), I had a few friends there but not like a proper connection where we had each others numbers or arranged to meet up or anything! Just literally spoke during lessons, breaks and on the bus but that was literally it!
It was hard because they had met friends in other societies they were closer with or had flat mates and so didn’t feel the need to ever invite me out anywhere as they had plenty of options. I had none but this was all my own fault because I didn’t get involved like I should have, I didn’t join one society or put myself out like I wish I had now!
Don’t beat yourself up though, it’s been a difficult two years and the fact you’ve missed a lot of uni because of COVID means you didn’t have the experience others did! It’s a real shame to blame everything on COVID but that really didn’t help with meeting others and socialising! Do what you can now, you still have plenty of time.
Original post by Anonymous
I have a fair amount of friends at uni, but I'm not particularly close with any of them. It feels like, unlike everyone else I know, I haven't met the 'friends for life' at uni I had hoped to, which has left me feeling quite isolated. None of my home friends have met any of my uni friends and it makes me quite embarrassed when they ask about coming up to visit to meet my uni friends (or vice versa during the holidays).
I really made an effort to put myself out there in 1st and 2nd year but nothing really sticked beyond a fairly shallow friendship. Struggling to find a tight-knit group that I could do everything with, I kind of became a social hermit and had to be particularly proactive if I wanted to meet up with people. Without these close friendships the social side of uni has been a bit lacking and not quite as exciting as I hoped it would, so I really want to make up for it as much as I can in my final year.
I'm thinking of joining a new society to meet some new people, and will try to rekindle some of my other friendships from 1st and 2nd year, but I'm worried it might be too late? Any advice or success stories? Thanks
I really made an effort to put myself out there in 1st and 2nd year but nothing really sticked beyond a fairly shallow friendship. Struggling to find a tight-knit group that I could do everything with, I kind of became a social hermit and had to be particularly proactive if I wanted to meet up with people. Without these close friendships the social side of uni has been a bit lacking and not quite as exciting as I hoped it would, so I really want to make up for it as much as I can in my final year.
I'm thinking of joining a new society to meet some new people, and will try to rekindle some of my other friendships from 1st and 2nd year, but I'm worried it might be too late? Any advice or success stories? Thanks
Hey, how are you?
When I was a student I found I gained the most confidence to speak to people in my last year, and I didn't really make any friends at first. I preferred to focus on my studies and not really go out, but everyone experiences uni differently! There's no right or wrong way
It's definitely not too late to make friends and socialise more, it's the perfect time!
Joining a club or society would be a great way to make friends, that way you're around people with similar interests to you and it makes conversation that bit easier. Or you could become a student ambassador, volunteer or find part-time work on campus, all fab ways of meeting new people.
Good luck with your last year, you'll smash it
Becky
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