Should I call out my friend's hypocrisy or am I overreacting?

We've known each other for at least 15 years, so I feel that I could talk to him about it.

Like he'll get upset and spend half an hour each time we meet to talk about how some of our mutual friends do things together and don't think about including us. He'll be equally as upset if a person doesn't respond to his message or takes their time to.

But, for instance, Friday I asked whether he could send me a text Saturday after he's finished lunch so that I can get ready to pick him up for this party - we planned on going to the shops beforehand. He eats lunch at random times - can be 1 pm, can be 4 pm.

I didn't get a single message from him. When I sent him a message at 5 pm (2 hours after our planned meet) asking him what happened, he replies 'I forgot' nothing more.

No apology, nothing... when I'm sure he would be complaining if it were someone else.

I've spotted this sort of hypocrisy from his part a bit more now, and I don't know if I should mention it to him?

Reply 1

1582

Volunteer Team

He most likely wouldn't make any effort to change his ways if you brought it up. For that reason I don't think it's worthwhile to mention it at all.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by 1582

He most likely wouldn't make any effort to change his ways if you brought it up. For that reason I don't think it's worthwhile to mention it at all.

He's 33, so yeah you're probably right. On the other hand, if I continue to ignore it, it could get worse.

Another thing that annoys me is how often he'll say 'I don't know', despite getting upset if someone can't tell him whether they can meet up next week or if something.

If you ask him 'What time are we meeting?', 'Would you rather eat X or Y?'... it's always 'I don't know'. Like make a ****ing effort. It's a lazy ass response. Every time I ask him a simple question, the response is predictable.

Reply 3

Little pecker

Id drop it subtly just saying thanks for the invite

The older I get the more I realise these battles aren’t worth it.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by Little pecker

Id drop it subtly just saying thanks for the invite

The older I get the more I realise these battles aren’t worth it.

True. It'd just be a lot better if he would quit complaining. His parents, as nice as they are, are worse. Gossip, gossip, gossip. It's tiring. Worst is that they'll complain about others gossiping too.

Reply 5

Little pecker

Original post by Anonymous

Mine are the same lol, parents its easier to call out but guess you need to a decision as to whether its worth losing the relationship over.

Because I’ve had similar in the past and that outcome is a real possibility.

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

sounds really tiring! if this guy is this level of hypocritical, he doesn’t sound like a very good friend. as you’ve been friends for so long I can only have respect to you for tolerating this haha

I think all friendships have ups and downs. maybe you both need to give each other lots of space for a while so you’re no longer treading on one another’s toes?