Got a date on Wednesday- worried my mum will stop me

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Anonymous #1
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So I’m a 22 year old f and I’m going on my first date ever on Wednesday at 6pm. I wanted to have the date much earlier, on dinnertime or early afternoon but he can’t make it as he’s working

I’m meant to be dogsitting for my dog on Wednesday night, so while I’m not happy about leaving her on her own while I’m on this date I know she’ll just sleep and I’m not gonna be out that long anyway. She always just lays on the back of the chair or on the sofa and is not a bother at all

The problem is my mum. She’s leaving the house after 6 for the night but I’ll be heading out before then. I’ve got a cover that I’m meeting a friend at the same place I’m having my date, but I have a really horrible feeling she’ll suss out I’m lying and that I’m going on a date or offer to drop me off

My mum has babied me my whole life. She always moans that I’m immature but I’ve never had a chance to prove to her I’m not. She doesn’t seem to want me dating even though I’ve told her to butt out. She interferes all the time and I’m sick of it! It’s pushing me further away from her

How am I supposed to get away with this? Can someone help? I thought about getting ready in the morning but telling her I’m keeping my makeup on all day, having my pyjamas on then slipping into a dress when she leaves. But I’m going out the door first. I know if she realises the truth she’ll have a go with me. But I’ve been getting on really well with this man, and if I don’t go on this date I’ll never know what might be
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Surnia
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You're an adult and it's your choice to go on a date. Make whatever arrangements you want and just state firmly what you are doing. Don't get over-emotional about it.

If you aren't happy at home, what's stopping you moving out?
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Hey!!
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I’d come clean I think, tell her you will be meeting him you’re not gonna be out long and to stop babying you, cos by doing this she is actually stifling your personal development. You are probably much more mature than she thinks. But if you really are much more immature than others your age it’s not your fault it’s hers. She hasn’t allowed you to live your life and that’s so wrong. Tell her it stops, and it stops now. You are a young adult and can make your own decisions without her input or permission. How can she expect you to be mature when she’s mollycuddled you? It’s all you’ve ever known! Part of maturing is getting to experience things like dating and relationships etc. It makes you wiser too. Just ignore whatever she says, it’s your life and you have the right to live it. Tell her what you said here that she is pushing you away and you will end up resenting her if she keeps this up. When she starts “I don’t want-“ cut her off and say what about what I want?

But at the end of the day, what can she do really? Maybe ***** and moan but she’s going out somewhere too. Least you’ll be coming home after the date back to the dog! Prove her wrong by getting yourself a second date with him.
Last edited by Hey!!; 4 weeks ago
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1582
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You're 22. You should have outgrown feeling as if you need to lie to your mother and sneaking around behind her back. Just tell her you're going on a date. She doesn't need to like it!
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Admit-One
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I’m a 22 year old f and I’m going on my first date ever on Wednesday at 6pm. I wanted to have the date much earlier, on dinnertime or early afternoon but he can’t make it as he’s working

I’m meant to be dogsitting for my dog on Wednesday night, so while I’m not happy about leaving her on her own while I’m on this date I know she’ll just sleep and I’m not gonna be out that long anyway. She always just lays on the back of the chair or on the sofa and is not a bother at all

The problem is my mum. She’s leaving the house after 6 for the night but I’ll be heading out before then. I’ve got a cover that I’m meeting a friend at the same place I’m having my date, but I have a really horrible feeling she’ll suss out I’m lying and that I’m going on a date or offer to drop me off

My mum has babied me my whole life. She always moans that I’m immature but I’ve never had a chance to prove to her I’m not. She doesn’t seem to want me dating even though I’ve told her to butt out. She interferes all the time and I’m sick of it! It’s pushing me further away from her

How am I supposed to get away with this? Can someone help? I thought about getting ready in the morning but telling her I’m keeping my makeup on all day, having my pyjamas on then slipping into a dress when she leaves. But I’m going out the door first. I know if she realises the truth she’ll have a go with me. But I’ve been getting on really well with this man, and if I don’t go on this date I’ll never know what might be
Probably not what you want to hear, but I think the mature thing to do would be to rearrange the date for a day where you don't have other responsibilities, (they're not going to mind if you explain something last minute has come up), and then be honest with your Mum about where you'll be going, ("out for drink/meal with XYZ"). At the end of the day you're 22 and shouldn't need to be sneaking around to avoid aggro from your Mum. If she can't cope with the fact that you might want to go out on a date in your twenties, that's her issue.
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Anonymous #2
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I've had this situation a lot, if you're more comfortable keeping it hush totally up to you, dating is private.

I just acted like i was going to see friends, you have to semi believe it to be convincing, feeling too guilty or sus is what gives you away normally.

If parents are sus that's their problem, just tell them it's none of their business, it's not nice to hear but they do have to hear it bluntly as they can severely affect your dating life and confidence in future, which can really mess things up for you. They can't be ignorant of that.
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S183355
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Hi, I’m also a 22 year old female with an over protective mother, so I completely know how you feel. I hit this obstacle with my mum and decided to bite the bullet and tell her, she did b**** and moan at me but in the end, it’s was my decision. It’s your life, not hers, you want to go on a date then do it, it’s time for her to let go of the reins. My mum only started seeing me as an adult when I called her out on treating me like a child, so show her your an adult and can make your own decisions without needing her say. Be truthful and if she has a problem that’s on her. Also I hope you have a really great date !!! You got this !!
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HeavLeighGill
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Being that you’re an adult, you should be able to date and make your own decisions. It sounds like your mom needs to let go some and give you the freedom to make your own decisions. She should trust you. However, I get that you kinda have to deal with it somewhat if you’re living in her house.
Assuming that you’ve already been out on the date or either didn’t get to go, can I have an update?
I hope that you got to go and had a great time!
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Dunnig Kruger
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Take the dog on the date. Even if that means modifying the place and theme of the date. EG date within 10 minutes walk of your home and at a dog friendly venue.

Tell your mum tonight, or tomorrow morning that you're meeting someone at 6 pm weds and will be taking the dog with you.
Do not accept any offers from your mum to drop you off, unless you're 100% happy to accept her offer.

And BTW, don't worry about make-up or your clothes for the date. If he or she is worth dating they won't give 2 figs about you turning up in whatever clothes you threw on and no make-up.
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