Girlfriend apparently got spiked

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Hehi
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Hi all,

Please please please help

I’m looking someone with past experience in getting spiked or with drugs.

Let me introduce my girlfriend, I’ve been with her almost two years and she is the most loving person on earth. Very little lies have happened in the past as she really doesn’t like arguments.

She wanted to go out with me on a Friday night although I went for a lads night and she would be the only girl. She decided that she will go to a work do to some kind of bar that was open till midnight.

Within the first two hours at the work do, she was very normal on messages as always. After those two hours she started to reply to me very rare and like she really hated me, she was never ever like this, this was happening until 1 am. After 1am next message was at 4am. I got back home at 5am and she was very different, although I was drunk so can’t tell how much different. She was complete a different person in speaking and the same with the bed stuff, dominant like never before.

When we woke up I started to search through her phone, I found out she was with some guy. It took a very long time but I finally got out of her that she cheated. She remembered even the details of the intercourse.

After 2 days she took one of them multi tests which showed positive for cocaine only, nothing else. I understand that being spiked will not show after such a long time.

Now she thinks she has been spiked, that she does not remember that much, from 1am to 4am it felt for her like 10 minutes, however this may not be true.

My question is whether her behaviour does make sense with being spiked? Very nasty and aggressive at the start and very weird at the end of the day when I got back? This does not sound to me like being spiked but it may be some other drug? Any experiences?

It may be also all a lie and she just got very drunk and sniffed coke. She definitely does love me and very regrets it from what I can see, she has never been even in 1% like this.

Any help much appreciated
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miser
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It's not impossible but you're right to be sceptical.

She probably wouldn't have told you anything had you not confronted her, and then grasping for ways not to take responsibility for what happened she suggests that she was spiked.

Then again, it would've been easy for her to say she didn't remember sleeping with that guy. That says to me that she probably does legitimately feel guilty about it.

In situations like these, in my opinion it doesn't really matter why it happened, it matters what you think she's likely to do in the future. If you don't trust her or think she's going to cheat on you again, you might want to break up.

If I were you and if it's an otherwise stable relationship I'd probably accept her story (true or not), but just tell her not to get spiked again. She should understand.
Last edited by miser; 4 weeks ago
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YaliaV123
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It took her a long time to confess and then she remembered all of the details, so I would be very sceptical. How often does she do cocaine?
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Hehi
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(Original post by miser)
It's not impossible but you're right to be sceptical.

She probably wouldn't have told you anything had you not confronted her, and then grasping for ways not to take responsibility for what happened she suggests that she was spiked.

Then again, it would've been easy for her to say she didn't remember sleeping with that guy. That says to me that she probably does legitimately feel guilty about it.

In situations like these, in my opinion it doesn't really matter why it happened, it matters what you think she's likely to do in the future. If you don't trust her or think she's going to cheat on you again, you might want to break up.

If I were you and if it's an otherwise stable relationship I'd probably accept her story (true or not), but just tell her not to get spiked again. She should understand.
Thank you very much for your reply.

It is a very stable relationship, we had many, many plans together and we lived together. The thing is that she didn’t even want to go to that party, she was trying her best to stay with me, but I didn’t want to and I think she went to it on purpose to make me feel bad about it.

I have seen her and she looks very guilty and not well, I’ve not seen her cry like this ever. She has never even been to a party for those 2 years we’ve been together.

The thing is that we had a conversation today about lying etc. For about 3 hours, she looked like she understood. However, when I got back home I have asked for the persons picture, she claimed he has put his profile as private and can’t get his image, then she suddenly found it on WhatsApp, I asked if she can prove this with a screenshot and she admitted to lying, and that she did have him on Instagram before, now he is blocked. So she has lied once again after such conversation.

She has even reported it to the police as she was spiked but I don’t know if I can believe that she was or whether it is another way to keep me.

This does make sense that she is doing everything to keep me. However, the thing is with me, that I want to find everything I can and her lies keep coming out. Because of these lies I can’t think I will be able to trust her again.

But you’re probably right, before I have started to investigate I should’ve kept it without any knowledge and it would’ve been easier. I do believe that she won’t cheat but I am not good with receiving lies.
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CosmicApathy1
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Did you do it?
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Hehi
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(Original post by YaliaV123)
It took her a long time to confess and then she remembered all of the details, so I would be very sceptical. How often does she do cocaine?
She hasn’t done it since we met almost two years ago for sure, she never been to a party without me, she didn’t ever want to.

What interests me the most is whether her behaviour is related to cocaine and alcohol or whether there is a possibility of being spiked with something
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Hehi
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(Original post by CosmicApathy1)
Did you do it?
No, I did not cheat. My girlfriend cheated on me
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StriderHort
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Sad to say, it does sound like she is making a fool of you :/ She obv still isn't being honest, so you have no way of knowing exactly where things stand.

I used to work in clubs, and the clear majority of women I encountered claiming to be spiked were demonstrably lying, grim but there is obv a type of person who will tell these lies almost without thinking to cover up.
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miser
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(Original post by Hehi)
Thank you very much for your reply.

It is a very stable relationship, we had many, many plans together and we lived together. The thing is that she didn’t even want to go to that party, she was trying her best to stay with me, but I didn’t want to and I think she went to it on purpose to make me feel bad about it.

I have seen her and she looks very guilty and not well, I’ve not seen her cry like this ever. She has never even been to a party for those 2 years we’ve been together.

The thing is that we had a conversation today about lying etc. For about 3 hours, she looked like she understood. However, when I got back home I have asked for the persons picture, she claimed he has put his profile as private and can’t get his image, then she suddenly found it on WhatsApp, I asked if she can prove this with a screenshot and she admitted to lying, and that she did have him on Instagram before, now he is blocked. So she has lied once again after such conversation.

She has even reported it to the police as she was spiked but I don’t know if I can believe that she was or whether it is another way to keep me.

This does make sense that she is doing everything to keep me. However, the thing is with me, that I want to find everything I can and her lies keep coming out. Because of these lies I can’t think I will be able to trust her again.

But you’re probably right, before I have started to investigate I should’ve kept it without any knowledge and it would’ve been easier. I do believe that she won’t cheat but I am not good with receiving lies.
Oh, that sounds much worse.

Relationships are built on trust. You'll never have full information about the other person, which in practice means they can get away with a lot of things behind your back. You have no way to know what she's really up to without snooping on her, the only thing you have is trust.

But when you did look at her phone, it turns out that she was lying. You guys talked about it and yet still she lied to you. Who knows how much she's been doing it.

People lie sometimes, it's to be expected, but they pay a price for it. They erode trust in themselves. Couples need that trust, it's what keeps the relationship together.

From the sounds of it, her lying isn't a once in a blue moon event, but it's a pattern. You can't expect to change people, you can only take them as who they are, so if she's been lying to you so far, in all likelihood she's going to be lying to you in the future too.

To me that's worse for a relationship than one off cheating - it straight up makes a relationship unviable.
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Hehi
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(Original post by miser)
Oh, that sounds much worse.

Relationships are built on trust. You'll never have full information about the other person, which in practice means they can get away with a lot of things behind your back. You have no way to know what she's really up to without snooping on her, the only thing you have is trust.

But when you did look at her phone, it turns out that she was lying. You guys talked about it and yet still she lied to you. Who knows how much she's been doing it.

People lie sometimes, it's to be expected, but they pay a price for it. They erode trust in themselves. Couples need that trust, it's what keeps the relationship together.

From the sounds of it, her lying isn't a once in a blue moon event, but it's a pattern. You can't expect to change people, you can only take them as who they are, so if she's been lying to you so far, in all likelihood she's going to be lying to you in the future too.

To me that's worse for a relationship than one off cheating - it straight up makes a relationship unviable.
Oh, to be fair I was expecting you will tell me that she is doing everything to keep me.

I mean, I really believe she does love me. She was not the best type of girl when I met her but she has changed more than I can imagine, for me. After those two years she still puts 100% effort into the relationship everyday and I was the one that was not giving her 100% back. Looking back, I just thought there is no need anymore as much and I simply don’t have that much time running my own company. Which I do regret now.

On the other hand, there has been one time in the past that she has lied with a very small thing. It was as simple as that she was meeting her friend (girl). Numerous amount of times that friend has been awful to her and she did not see it, I didn’t want her to keep seeing them. What it came out is that over a year, she did meet her 5 times for 5-15 minutes without telling me. She is the type of girl that believes humans are not bad, only then, she realised as she helped her friend find a job and then that friend stopped being friends with her. It was a very small thing but she deleted the messages and lied in my eyes for good 30 minutes before telling the truth. Back then, we had a similar conversation about telling the truth which she has now not done again.

So what do you think, do you think that it is partly my fault that I was giving her very low attention and it is incredible that she still put 100% in? Or does it not really matter as she is a lying person and she can’t help it. Do you think that the spike is a lie? Cocaine shouldn’t have anything to do with it, which was found on the test.

I do want to add that she is feeling very guilty and she has been always the best
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Hehi
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(Original post by StriderHort)
Sad to say, it does sound like she is making a fool of you :/ She obv still isn't being honest, so you have no way of knowing exactly where things stand.

I used to work in clubs, and the clear majority of women I encountered claiming to be spiked were demonstrably lying, grim but there is obv a type of person who will tell these lies almost without thinking to cover up.
Thank you,

So do you think that her behaviour does not sound like being spiked at all? Or any other possible drug?
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miser
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(Original post by Hehi)
Oh, to be fair I was expecting you will tell me that she is doing everything to keep me.

I mean, I really believe she does love me. She was not the best type of girl when I met her but she has changed more than I can imagine, for me. After those two years she still puts 100% effort into the relationship everyday and I was the one that was not giving her 100% back. Looking back, I just thought there is no need anymore as much and I simply don’t have that much time running my own company. Which I do regret now.

On the other hand, there has been one time in the past that she has lied with a very small thing. It was as simple as that she was meeting her friend (girl). Numerous amount of times that friend has been awful to her and she did not see it, I didn’t want her to keep seeing them. What it came out is that over a year, she did meet her 5 times for 5-15 minutes without telling me. She is the type of girl that believes humans are not bad, only then, she realised as she helped her friend find a job and then that friend stopped being friends with her. It was a very small thing but she deleted the messages and lied in my eyes for good 30 minutes before telling the truth. Back then, we had a similar conversation about telling the truth which she has now not done again.

So what do you think, do you think that it is partly my fault that I was giving her very low attention and it is incredible that she still put 100% in? Or does it not really matter as she is a lying person and she can’t help it. Do you think that the spike is a lie? Cocaine shouldn’t have anything to do with it, which was found on the test.

I do want to add that she is feeling very guilty and she has been always the best
No I don't think it's your fault. If she feels you've been neglecting her to focus on your business, that's a separate issue.

It sounds like she's just not very trustworthy.
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StriderHort
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(Original post by Hehi)
Thank you,

So do you think that her behaviour does not sound like being spiked at all? Or any other possible drug?
I obv don't know her or have full info, but it sounds pretty suss. A bit more like 'I got high and cheated' rather than 'I was a clear victim' tbh i also feel an outright evil guy like that would have taken steps not to appear in her phone/leave obvious evidence.

As for the test, well it detected the cocaine didn't it? seems to work fine, and cocaine is very much a drug that leads to stupid tunnel visioned choices in the moment while thinking they are a great idea. Its not something you get spiked with IME, neither are most of the drugs that make people horny.

It's a bit redundant given what you found, but I should add it still isn't cool to rake through peoples phones, it's a huge violation of privacy.
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Wired_1800
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(Original post by Hehi)
Hi all,

Please please please help

I’m looking someone with past experience in getting spiked or with drugs.

Let me introduce my girlfriend, I’ve been with her almost two years and she is the most loving person on earth. Very little lies have happened in the past as she really doesn’t like arguments.

She wanted to go out with me on a Friday night although I went for a lads night and she would be the only girl. She decided that she will go to a work do to some kind of bar that was open till midnight.

Within the first two hours at the work do, she was very normal on messages as always. After those two hours she started to reply to me very rare and like she really hated me, she was never ever like this, this was happening until 1 am. After 1am next message was at 4am. I got back home at 5am and she was very different, although I was drunk so can’t tell how much different. She was complete a different person in speaking and the same with the bed stuff, dominant like never before.

When we woke up I started to search through her phone, I found out she was with some guy. It took a very long time but I finally got out of her that she cheated. She remembered even the details of the intercourse.

After 2 days she took one of them multi tests which showed positive for cocaine only, nothing else. I understand that being spiked will not show after such a long time.

Now she thinks she has been spiked, that she does not remember that much, from 1am to 4am it felt for her like 10 minutes, however this may not be true.

My question is whether her behaviour does make sense with being spiked? Very nasty and aggressive at the start and very weird at the end of the day when I got back? This does not sound to me like being spiked but it may be some other drug? Any experiences?

It may be also all a lie and she just got very drunk and sniffed coke. She definitely does love me and very regrets it from what I can see, she has never been even in 1% like this.

Any help much appreciated
It sounds negative but don't take her back after she cheated on you. Her cheating showed that she wanted another lad who she slept with. She then lied when she got caught. Trust is one of the most important attribute in a relationship and she broke it.

Focus on yourself and find a new gf. All the best.
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1582
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For someone who was supposedly spiked she seems to have very clear memories of what happened.

I've been spiked before. I only remembered little snippets of the previous night. I woke-up the next day covered with cuts and bruises, the coat I had worn was covered in leaves indicating I had fallen down, and I don't entirely know how I got home (an hour's train journey and a ten minute walk to my house) besides memories of a couple I didn't know at various points on it - I think they took responsibility for me. I remember the woman was angry at my friends for leaving me alone, but not much beyond that. I also didn't use my phone at all in that state - the last message I had sent to my partner was that we were going to order another drink and then go for the train. My experience isn't representative of everyone's, of course, but it was definitely very hazy in comparison to what your partner has described.
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gjd800
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Been spiked like 3 times. Twice I can't remember much, once I remember but couldn't walk well and was very weak. Sounds suss to me
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Anonymous #1
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You probably will never be able to know what really happened or what drugs were involved. That's something you have to accept when deciding what to do next. I personally would never be with someone who did drugs or regularly partied hard (esp without me or alone with a group of guys) as it's just a dodgy situation waiting to happen.

(Original post by gjd800)
Been spiked like 3 times. Twice I can't remember much, once I remember but couldn't walk well and was very weak. Sounds suss to me
Are you a man? what were you were spiked for?
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gjd800
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what were you were spiked for?
Once to be robbed, which I can infer from the fact that I was later robbed. Otherwise, how should I know?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by gjd800)
Once to be robbed, which I can infer from the fact that I was later robbed. Otherwise, how should I know?
Oh ok just wondered as apart from robbing i wasn't sure what guys would be spiked for but for girls it'd be more obvious. Does it bother you that you can't remember other times?
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gjd800
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Oh ok just wondered as apart from robbing i wasn't sure what guys would be spiked for but for girls it'd be more obvious. Does it bother you that you can't remember other times?
Happens all the time, seen it more times than I care to remember over the past 20 years.

Not bothered, makes no real difference to my life now that I can't remember the odd night 15 years ago
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