M/25 and no girl friend or friends :( I need your advice

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justarandomguy7
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Hello folks

First of all, I must say that I am not a native speaker, so there might be many mistakes in my post. I still hope that you get my point and can give me some advice. Furthermore I would like to say that I don't want to insult people here personally with my post. These are just my thoughts and my own (sad) experience regarding dating etc.

I am 25 years old and I am currently studying Management (Master degree). I have moved quite a lot from one city to another one and had always to adapt to new people and to the new town. I never had a "solid" friend circle and I never had a girl friend either. After graduating from High School (I was 18 at that time) I moved with my family to another city because my father got a new job. I lost all my High School friends and didn't know anyone in the new town, I was basically on my own and had to start from Zero.

I finished my Bachelor's degree in 2020 and I never managed to find new "friends" during that whole time. Sure, I had some guys who were next to me during lectures, but that's basically it. I never met them outside University and to be honest, I was in plenty of lectures completely on my own because people don't have to come to lectures. I didn't bother but as time passed, I realized that I have not met a single girl during my Bachelor's time. I didn't bother that much about the fact that I didn't manage to find a girl friend through university because most of the girls were not my type or they were not single. I also never had "luck" when it comes to team work based tasks e.g. writing a paper together or doing a project study. I always got girls who were either not my type at all or if they were my type, they already had a boyfriend and were obviously not interested in me. I tried to be their friends and thought that I could potentially meet new people through them, but they were either not interested in friendship (and wanted only help e.g. old exams from me) or they had no friends too. So thats the University part.

Then I hought that I would eventually find a girl friend through my (rather) small circle of friends. As I said before, I didn't have (and still don't have) many friends. They invited me for house parties or I just hang out with them but there were always either NO girls at all or those girls were already taken and not single. I swear to God that I am not exaggerating. Every girl I met through my small friend circle had a boyfriend and I didn't ask them personally. I have them on social media apps and they have plenty of photos with their boyfriends. It may sound insane but honestly, almost every girl who is at least 22 or older has a boyfriend. O don't have problems with younger girls but I simply never met them. I am surrounded by girls who are at least 23 and for this age it's pretty much too late.

Besides University and my circle of friends, I had really high hopes to meet an interesting girl through my work as a research student in an enterprise. Sadly, due to Corona everything was Online. But even if I could go to work normally, there is only one girl in my age and guess what, she has already a boyfriend for over 10 years.
I must admit that I got really, really frustrated and that's why I downloaded Tinder and Co. I managed to date 18 different girls from those Dating Apps, but most of the time, they were either absolutely not my type and looked completely different in reality compared to their photos or they were only interested in friendship/friends with benefit etc. Please don't get me wrong. I am not a superficial person who only cares about looks, but most of the time, I just dated those girls for the sake of "having dates". Yeah, sounds really messed up but I just wanted to date some girls and gain some experience.

And that's pretty much it. I have no clue at all, where and how I could meet my potential girl friend. University, friendship circle, work and even Online Dating Apps weren't helpful at all and I have never approached a girl in real life. I don't know if I am attractive to try it out, but honestly I always think that attractive girls already have a boyfriend and it's pretty much useless to approach them.
I am seriously so God damn frustrated and every single day I get more an more jealous when I see those couples. I am not introverted, have no problems at keeping a conversation and I am rather lighthearted/ humorous guy. I am really afraid that I will stay Single and it just hurts me so much

Is here anyone else in the same boat? Is there anything I can do?

Thanks for reading this post guys
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HeavLeighGill
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Sorry to hear that you’re struggling with finding a girlfriend! My advice was originally going to be to try online dating, but it seems like that isn’t working too well. On the bright side, it did get you dates and that should tell you that those girls found you attractive. If they don’t look exactly like their picture, maybe try being a little more willing to give them a chance anyways? Perhaps it could be that your standards are high and these women you’re meeting are pretty but just not exactly what you imagined from their profile picture, so you may not be giving them a chance?
I genuinely hope that things turn around and you find someone, everyone deserves to be happy!
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justarandomguy7
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(Original post by HeavLeighGill)
Sorry to hear that you’re struggling with finding a girlfriend! My advice was originally going to be to try online dating, but it seems like that isn’t working too well. On the bright side, it did get you dates and that should tell you that those girls found you attractive. If they don’t look exactly like their picture, maybe try being a little more willing to give them a chance anyways? Perhaps it could be that your standards are high and these women you’re meeting are pretty but just not exactly what you imagined from their profile picture, so you may not be giving them a chance?
I genuinely hope that things turn around and you find someone, everyone deserves to be happy!
Thank you for your reply
Yeah, I tried Online Daying, but as I said above its more or less useless. It wasnt always their looks that turned me off. Sometimes we didnt connect at all and there was no chemistry And some of them were looking for a buddy and nothing serious

It really annoys me because I would not be Single in my home town. I had plenty of friends there and I was always hanging out during weekends and met plenty of new persons including girls. For le it feels like the time is up and no matter how much I improve myself (physically) I dont get even a chance to date a girl from real life because they have already a boyfriend. I think that there are only a few girls out there who are 22 or older and are currentliy available. The rest has alrrady a boyfriend.

I really want ro change something because I will keep staying single, even in my late 20s. I am seriously considering going to Clubs completely alone
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HeavLeighGill
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Try not to let it get you down too much, people will go through breakups or you’ll naturally meet new people as time goes on. I grew up in a small town so I get that it feels like there aren’t many options. Maybe you could try to get one of your friends to ask their girlfriends if they know anyone that’s single? Although you may have tried this already.
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justarandomguy7
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(Original post by HeavLeighGill)
Try not to let it get you down too much, people will go through breakups or you’ll naturally meet new people as time goes on. I grew up in a small town so I get that it feels like there aren’t many options. Maybe you could try to get one of your friends to ask their girlfriends if they know anyone that’s single? Although you may have tried this already.
I always try to be happy and enjoy life, but it's really getting worse as time passes and I get older. This probably started when I turned 23 because I always thought that I would already have a girl friend by the time time I hit 23 It's just annoying because I am 99% of all weekends alone...
My friends are completely useless. They are 2 years older than me and are also Single. I will never find a girl through them because they have not many female friends and their own situation is even worse. They are older and are still Single, so they have their own problems And the wirst part is the fact, that they never go to Clubs etc. They just go out together in a Bar and don't approach girls. I am really surprised how they handle their own situation. I am pretty sure that they have no pressure and they don't care if they stay Single. For me, that's not an option
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HeavLeighGill
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I hate to hear that. It does sound like you’re putting so much pressure on yourself to find someone that maybe you should try to relax and believe that someone will come along. Try to get out there more and go to different places, then find opportunities to start a conversation with women. If you have a dog maybe walk it in a neighborhood, go to the gym (if you’re into that), volunteer, or do some kind of activities or go to events where you could meet people. You could also keep trying the online dating thing, maybe go on different sites or try talking to women from slightly farther away. Even if you go on a few bad dates it’s still a way to pass the time and you might make a friend that’s a girl out of it, which would open the door to meet more people.
Sorry if this isn’t helpful, I tried to think of everything I could to help. Just remember the right one will come along!
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