feeling alone and sad at uni

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sundflower11
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I’ve been in uni for just over a week now (probs not long enough to start complaining) and i just feel so lonely and so so sad. freshers week i went out every single night and met so many people but then after that when i wake up sober i don’t speak to any of them again. everyone I’ve met have other people from their hometown/ city who have also come here whereas im the only person from my town who has come here so i feel really singled out and that all the friendships have formed before i even got here. the course I’m doing is my dream course and i think im going to enjoy it, but i feel so lonely that I’ve started to dread waking up and a lot of mornings the first thing I do when I open my eyes is cry, as sad as it sounds lol. I don’t mind being alone but it didn’t hurt as much back home when i knew my best friends were always around whenever. does anybody have any advice or just general words of reassurance that will help me stick this one out?
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UCLan Student
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(Original post by sundflower11)
I’ve been in uni for just over a week now (probs not long enough to start complaining) and i just feel so lonely and so so sad. freshers week i went out every single night and met so many people but then after that when i wake up sober i don’t speak to any of them again. everyone I’ve met have other people from their hometown/ city who have also come here whereas im the only person from my town who has come here so i feel really singled out and that all the friendships have formed before i even got here. the course I’m doing is my dream course and i think im going to enjoy it, but i feel so lonely that I’ve started to dread waking up and a lot of mornings the first thing I do when I open my eyes is cry, as sad as it sounds lol. I don’t mind being alone but it didn’t hurt as much back home when i knew my best friends were always around whenever. does anybody have any advice or just general words of reassurance that will help me stick this one out?
Hi sundflower11,

It's completely natural to feel down during your first few weeks in University, especially because it's a new environment. I felt exactly the same, but once I was in a routine and made some connections on my course and in societies, it really helped me feel comfortable and enhanced my overall experience.

It's great to hear that you are loving your course and you can focus on the enjoyment that brings you. I was also the only person from my town who moved to UCLan, so I know how you feel. I would recommend joining any societies that may interest you at your University, and don't let the fact that you aren't from the city put you off, they might want more people to add to their friendship groups. Everyone is in the same boat and wants to meet new people and make friends, despite having friends from their hometown/city.

I hope this helps in any way possible. If you have any other questions, please don't hesitate to get in touch or speak to someone at your University to help you adapt, it takes time at first, so you won't be the only one.

Dan
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Lydia Taylor (YSJU Student Ambassador)
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(Original post by sundflower11)
I’ve been in uni for just over a week now (probs not long enough to start complaining) and i just feel so lonely and so so sad. freshers week i went out every single night and met so many people but then after that when i wake up sober i don’t speak to any of them again. everyone I’ve met have other people from their hometown/ city who have also come here whereas im the only person from my town who has come here so i feel really singled out and that all the friendships have formed before i even got here. the course I’m doing is my dream course and i think im going to enjoy it, but i feel so lonely that I’ve started to dread waking up and a lot of mornings the first thing I do when I open my eyes is cry, as sad as it sounds lol. I don’t mind being alone but it didn’t hurt as much back home when i knew my best friends were always around whenever. does anybody have any advice or just general words of reassurance that will help me stick this one out?
Hello,

It is great to hear you are looking forward to your course and getting started. I am sorry that you are in a tough situation at the moment but you are not alone.

The majority of people are in the same boat as you and looking for new friends at university. Sometimes it can seem like everyone already knows each other or that a friendship will never be able to form but I promise it is not the case. I came from a small town too and everyone seemed to be from Leeds or Manchester!

Are you able to message someone that you have been out with? Though it is scary, once you have made that first step, it is so easy to form friendships. You could message them the next morning and ask if they want to go get hangover food or come around to your flat (if you are in one) and watch a film.
The people you have met might be in the same position and wish they could solidify the relationships! It just takes someone to be brave and make the first step.

When you get on your course, you will make even more friends. I think that you will find that more people are in your situation as cohorts can be quite big and you will meet them all. Whereas you sometimes only see a couple of people on a night out! Make sure you chat with the people sat next to you. I asked someone to come to Primark with me after the first lecture and now we live together. It just shows how small steps and little trips make all the difference.

Get involved with some societies! There should be some taster sessions in your Freshers Week. You can meet lots of likeminded people and you know you will see them weekly so you are guaranteed to see them again.

I hope this reassures you. In a couple of months you will look back and not believe you were in this position.
Lydia
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sundflower11
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(Original post by Lydia Taylor (YSJU Student Ambassador))
Hello,

It is great to hear you are looking forward to your course and getting started. I am sorry that you are in a tough situation at the moment but you are not alone.

The majority of people are in the same boat as you and looking for new friends at university. Sometimes it can seem like everyone already knows each other or that a friendship will never be able to form but I promise it is not the case. I came from a small town too and everyone seemed to be from Leeds or Manchester!

Are you able to message someone that you have been out with? Though it is scary, once you have made that first step, it is so easy to form friendships. You could message them the next morning and ask if they want to go get hangover food or come around to your flat (if you are in one) and watch a film.
The people you have met might be in the same position and wish they could solidify the relationships! It just takes someone to be brave and make the first step.

When you get on your course, you will make even more friends. I think that you will find that more people are in your situation as cohorts can be quite big and you will meet them all. Whereas you sometimes only see a couple of people on a night out! Make sure you chat with the people sat next to you. I asked someone to come to Primark with me after the first lecture and now we live together. It just shows how small steps and little trips make all the difference.

Get involved with some societies! There should be some taster sessions in your Freshers Week. You can meet lots of likeminded people and you know you will see them weekly so you are guaranteed to see them again.

I hope this reassures you. In a couple of months you will look back and not believe you were in this position.
Lydia
Thank you so much, i really don’t want to give up so early on even though it seems so easy to just turn around and go back home right now. hopefully you’re right and i can look back at this and laugh in a few months
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University of Bradford
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(Original post by sundflower11)
I’ve been in uni for just over a week now (probs not long enough to start complaining) and i just feel so lonely and so so sad. freshers week i went out every single night and met so many people but then after that when i wake up sober i don’t speak to any of them again. everyone I’ve met have other people from their hometown/ city who have also come here whereas im the only person from my town who has come here so i feel really singled out and that all the friendships have formed before i even got here. the course I’m doing is my dream course and i think im going to enjoy it, but i feel so lonely that I’ve started to dread waking up and a lot of mornings the first thing I do when I open my eyes is cry, as sad as it sounds lol. I don’t mind being alone but it didn’t hurt as much back home when i knew my best friends were always around whenever. does anybody have any advice or just general words of reassurance that will help me stick this one out?
Hello!

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way, but it's absolutely normal and very common. Everyone will be in the same boat as you, so it's the perfect time to keep trying to make friends. It's amazing to hear you've been attending Freshers events and speaking to new people, I can understand how difficult it is to then continue the conversation after the event, it can be really daunting! Can you try adding them on social media and start small, maybe liking their recent photo or replying to their Instagram story?

Have you thought about joining a club or society? It's a great way to meet likeminded people with similar interests to you, making conversation that bit easier. I know I find conversation with others easier when we can bond over a TV show we both enjoy haha. You could even look into becoming a student ambassador or identify any volunteering opportunities on campus - both fab ways of meeting new people.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself to make friends, some people meet their lifelong friends at uni, other's don't! Some people make their forever friends after university, in the work place for instance. There's no right or wrong way to experience university life, it's different for everyone. I know when I was a student I preferred to focus on my studies instead of going out and making friends.

It's amazing to hear that it's your dream course, let this motivate you to keep going and don't let making friends dampen your university experience.

I wish you the very best of luck with everything!

Becky
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