Is dating much harder for average guys compared to average women?

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Anonymous #1
#21
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#21
(Original post by londonmyst)
It depends upon personal attitudes towards dating.
A lot of single people do seem to appear to over-estimate their own desirability as a date & what they bring to the table in a relationship and have too many unrealistic dealbreakers unlikely to ever be met.
But if basic attraction dealbreakers are not met & an active sex life is involved- the relationship is likely to have a limited shelf life or be an unhappy one.

I am happily single and have a very long list of dating breakers.
I have other priorities and am not looking for a relationship.
Well then that’s fine. But like you say, I think some people are unrealistic and then complain without evaluating their own choices.
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Gaddafi
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#22
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#22
(Original post by NonIndigenous)
On the flip-side there are guys (I know such guys) who deliberately also look for women who are 'lower' in status than they are. Who earn less. Who have less social clout. They feel insecure otherwise and the relationships turns sh/tty because of it.
I am a man who does this. Most of my past relationships have been warm and enjoyable.

I genuinely believe that as a general rule, women are constantly trying to shoot upwards socially. Therefore I shoot down. This way I avoid having a woman who thinking she could have married richer.

It is only anecdotal evidence but it does work for me.
Last edited by Gaddafi; 3 weeks ago
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londonmyst
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#23
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#23
(Original post by Gaddafi)
I am a man who does this. Most of my past relationships have been warm and enjoyable.

I genuinely believe that as a general rule, women are constantly trying to shoot upwards socially. Therefore I shoot down. This way I avoid having a woman who thinking she could have married richer.

It is only anecdotal evidence but it does work for me.
If you spent 2-3 days listening to the divorcing heterosexual couples I see at work and watching their body language, you'd soon start pondering:

1) whether those divorcing women actually could have attracted a richer guy willing to marry them or if they were just incredibly lucky to find one idiot with more cash/real estate/other inherited assets than brains,
and
2) reassessing whether every girl you've ever dated or hooked up with secretly held a similar entitled attitude but took the trouble to flawlessly disguise it during the relationship.
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!Capercaillie
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#24
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#24
No, it’s not. Many average guys do just fine, myself included.

Dating is hard for a minority of men who either have the social skills of a wet tea towel or constructed a life for themselves with little opportunity to meet women (male dominated work environment/no active social life, etc.). These men take to the internet and are very vocal about their difficulties.
Last edited by !Capercaillie; 2 weeks ago
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Anonymous #1
#25
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#25
(Original post by !Capercaillie)
No, it’s not. Many average guys do just fine, myself included.

Dating is hard for a minority of men who either have the social skills of a wet tea towel or constructed a life for themselves with little opportunity to meet women (male dominated work environment/no active social life, etc.). These men take to the internet and are very vocal about their difficulties.
Then maybe those who don’t do well despite being social and meeting new people all the time are below average?
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NonIndigenous
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#26
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#26
(Original post by Gaddafi)
I am a man who does this. Most of my past relationships have been warm and enjoyable.

I genuinely believe that as a general rule, women are constantly trying to shoot upwards socially. Therefore I shoot down. This way I avoid having a woman who thinking she could have married richer.

It is only anecdotal evidence but it does work for me.
As a general rule yes. What you say makes sense in it's own context.

I just want to be in a relationship with someone I respect. And I don't respect social climbers. She can have less than me, provided she isn't attracted to me for the money or other status-related attributes. But if she has approximately equal "status" to me, then that problem is lessened.
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H8Courtship217
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#27
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#27
well men have always been expected to do most of the work or effort when it comes to attracting a mate, i'm referring to how guys have always been expected to make the first move or approach women, ask them out first, etc.
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Anonymous #1
#28
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#28
(Original post by H8Courtship217)
well men have always been expected to do most of the work or effort when it comes to attracting a mate, i'm referring to how guys have always been expected to make the first move or approach women, ask them out first, etc.
On apps, neither make the first move since both have to mutually like each other before they’re matched. However, most women will get far more matches after the same amount of time spent on dating apps than most men will.
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Lwexi12
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#29
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#29
a prime example of why its "hard" for guys....here
Last edited by Lwexi12; 1 week ago
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Anonymous #1
#30
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#30
(Original post by Lwexi12)
a prime example of why its "hard" for guys....here
It’s hard for guys because most guys are invisible to women. Dating apps illustrate this perfectly. Most guys get 0 matches regardless of the amount of effort they put into their profile.
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xxKittyxx
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#31
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It’s hard for guys because most guys are invisible to women. Dating apps illustrate this perfectly. Most guys get 0 matches regardless of the amount of effort they put into their profile.
If you are going to sit in your room playing Call of Duty and occasionally swiping on a few Tinder profiles, of course you are going to be invisible to women.

Take responsibility for your situation, put some genuine effort in, and get out there socialising where you'll likely meet women. If you don't, you are just going to remain single.
Last edited by xxKittyxx; 1 week ago
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Anonymous #1
#32
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#32
(Original post by xxKittyxx)
If you are going to sit in your room playing Call of Duty and occasionally swiping on a few Tinder profiles, of course you are going to be invisible to women.

Take responsibility for your situation, put some genuine effort in, and get out there socialising where you'll likely meet women. If you don't, you are just going to remain single.
I don’t play video games. I’m out all the time. I have a lot of hobbies and I’m always out socialising and meeting new people. I’ve lost count of the number of women I’ve asked out. I’ve never had a yes. I always get rejected.
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Anonymous #1
#33
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#33
(Original post by xxKittyxx)
If you are going to sit in your room playing Call of Duty and occasionally swiping on a few Tinder profiles, of course you are going to be invisible to women.

Take responsibility for your situation, put some genuine effort in, and get out there socialising where you'll likely meet women. If you don't, you are just going to remain single.
Most men who puts effort into his profile and spends 10 hours a week on tinder and swipes right on every profile, get 0 matches. If most women do the same, they will get alot of matches.
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xxKittyxx
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#34
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#34
(Original post by Anonymous)
I don’t play video games. I’m out all the time. I have a lot of hobbies and I’m always out socialising and meeting new people. I’ve lost count of the number of women I’ve asked out. I’ve never had a yes. I always get rejected.
Then you need to ask yourself what you are getting wrong and actively change how you do things.

(Original post by Anonymous)
Most men who puts effort into his profile and spends 10 hours a week on tinder and swipes right on every profile, get 0 matches. If most women do the same, they will get alot of matches.
Don't assume because you get nowhere, most other men have the same problem you do. Walking around any city and seeing all the men clearly in a relationship with the woman walking alongside them will demonstrate this fact to you.

Reality check time: dating is competitive. You either step up and take responsibility for your life, or you sit around complaining about it. Your choice.
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Anonymous #1
#35
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#35
(Original post by xxKittyxx)
Then you need to ask yourself what you are getting wrong and actively change how you do things.



Don't assume because you get nowhere, most other men have the same problem you do. Walking around any city and seeing all the men clearly in a relationship with the woman walking alongside them will demonstrate this fact to you.

Reality check time: dating is competitive. You either step up and take responsibility for your life, or you sit around complaining about it. Your choice.
I know plenty of guys in same situation. And also statistics prove it as shown by the links below.


bit.ly/3DAx5tL
bit.ly/3oSdAJ0
bit.ly/3mB2m8I
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Anonymous #1
#36
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#36
(Original post by xxKittyxx)
Then you need to ask yourself what you are getting wrong and actively change how you do things.



Don't assume because you get nowhere, most other men have the same problem you do. Walking around any city and seeing all the men clearly in a relationship with the woman walking alongside them will demonstrate this fact to you.

Reality check time: dating is competitive. You either step up and take responsibility for your life, or you sit around complaining about it. Your choice.
I have tried over a span of 20 years.
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xxKittyxx
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#37
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I know plenty of guys in same situation. And also statistics prove it as shown by the links below.


bit.ly/3DAx5tL
bit.ly/3oSdAJ0
bit.ly/3mB2m8I
Then get off dating apps. Stop repeating behaviour that results in failure.

(Original post by Anonymous)
I have tried over a span of 20 years.
Maybe see a therapist or a life coach who can offer you some insight to turn your life around. These are steps you can make to take responsibility for your situation rather than wallowing in your self-pity.
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CorporalJin
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#38
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#38
..
Last edited by CorporalJin; 1 week ago
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Anonymous #1
#39
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#39
(Original post by CountBread)
Are you that boring troll who's ''tried everything" but nothing works cos women only date models etc?
I don’t know who women date. They just dont date me.
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CorporalJin
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#40
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Im going to say yes, men have it harder in General.
This is no secret either.

I have to disagree with the first few replies on this thread, most guys DO respect women and don't see them as some kind of prize/trophy, or insert some type of misandrist excuse on why men fail whilst excluding the bigger picture and nit-picking doesn't fly with me...

Why do men have it harder?

I mean logically think about this. Go on google/youtube and you are filled with literally millions of views on ''how to pick up girls/be in a relationship with them'' etc etc.
yet the opposite you do not see that much attraction/viewership on the womens side on ''how to attract males''
Well because women have it easier. matter of FACT that have it so easy most of the time they don't have to put any effort into it apart from saying yes or no to guys that approach them....

Also men are the ones that have to do the approaching, deal with the anxiety, ego hits from rejection, be on point with game and so forth..

Anyone that says men and women are equal in terms of difficulty in dating are either:

A. Women themselves that have zero experience on the other side of the coin, and are just saying this becuase its politically correct to say so, but deep down know its BS unless they are borderline delusional.

B. Men that have it easier then the ''average'' guy in terms of dating so seem to think it translates to every other average joe and it must be men being ''creeps and disrepectful to women'' as the sole reason they have no success with women.

C. Modern day dating stats PROVE that men have it harder, the sexlessness rate for guys has tripled to almost 30% (No sex past year) compared to women, and most is not by choice either...

D. I live in the City centre and go out regularly and can see FIRST HAND gender dynamics, yes men have it harder,will always be and has been harder for male counter parts compared to female...
**** it, even in nature this shows, and humans are no different so... Yes to OPs title..
Last edited by CorporalJin; 1 week ago
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