Anyone else disappointed with the social life so far at Uni?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
I am so disappointed with university life, can't lie. Made 0 friends and today is the first proper day of Uni (last week was freshers week). I'll definitely make 0 this year, I can already tell and Uni groups are meant to be formed at the end of the first semester so it'll be harder and harder. The only people I know are my roommates and all of them have their own friend groups so its already peak there. I've not became friends with any of my roommates. None literally. Just acquitances with all of them bar 1 guy I don't speak to really. So the 3 guys I'm acquaintances with - only one of them goes to the clubs I'm interested in but the thing is he knows many people as he came with mates from his college. I came with no one meanwhile. So basically its happened twice now where I get into the club with him and he goes off to many different mates meaning I'm stuck vibing in the corner like a weirdo with no mates. Man its awful I can't lie.

I know I'm not the most social but I'm not following my 1 acquaintance around everywhere whilst he speaks to people hes best mates with. So like I said my only option was to vibe alone pm and my mates back at home even said themselves that going alone at a club looks weird and they are right tbh, I didnt see anyone else alone. Happened twice now but I learned my lesson for sure that I shouldn't go clubbing until I make good friends - good enough that they don't run off to their other mates when we get into clubs.

So yeah and the only people I know are my roommates atm so its not like there's options for me to be more social. Just wondering if anyone else is hating social life at Uni so far or whether its just me? Thing is I know I'm not gonna make any mates this year as like I said, everyone already has their own friend groups and its too awkward joining em when you are barely friends with that 1 acquitance you know in the group.

Even if I meet people in my course, they will all already have their mates meaning that again it'll be tough.
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Anonymous #1
#2
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#2
Whoops this was meant to be in University Life. But tbf this is also relationships too so its fine in either I think.
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Moonlight Rain
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#3
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#3
Yes. I thought I would make friends. But it's whatever
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Surnia
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#4
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#4
Give it a chance! There's people on your course, at clubs and societies and evenn off-campus that are potential friends.
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
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(Original post by Moonlight Rain)
Yes. I thought I would make friends. But it's whatever
Depressing isn't it. Ik.

(Original post by Surnia)
Give it a chance! There's people on your course, at clubs and societies and evenn off-campus that are potential friends.
Who am I going to meet off-campus? In my course we aren't having seminars for another month or so and there's only 1 society I'm even remotely interested in.
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Moonlight Rain
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#6
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#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
Depressing isn't it. Ik.


Who am I going to meet off-campus? In my course we aren't having seminars for another month or so and there's only 1 society I'm even remotely interested in.
I've been in my seminars and accommodation, and no friends lol. I feel kind of invisible. Though I'm not making much effort anyway, oh well
Last edited by Moonlight Rain; 3 months ago
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Kaijuwede21
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#7
Report 3 months ago
#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
I am so disappointed with university life, can't lie. Made 0 friends and today is the first proper day of Uni (last week was freshers week). I'll definitely make 0 this year, I can already tell and Uni groups are meant to be formed at the end of the first semester so it'll be harder and harder. The only people I know are my roommates and all of them have their own friend groups so its already peak there. I've not became friends with any of my roommates. None literally. Just acquitances with all of them bar 1 guy I don't speak to really. So the 3 guys I'm acquaintances with - only one of them goes to the clubs I'm interested in but the thing is he knows many people as he came with mates from his college. I came with no one meanwhile. So basically its happened twice now where I get into the club with him and he goes off to many different mates meaning I'm stuck vibing in the corner like a weirdo with no mates. Man its awful I can't lie.

I know I'm not the most social but I'm not following my 1 acquaintance around everywhere whilst he speaks to people hes best mates with. So like I said my only option was to vibe alone pm and my mates back at home even said themselves that going alone at a club looks weird and they are right tbh, I didnt see anyone else alone. Happened twice now but I learned my lesson for sure that I shouldn't go clubbing until I make good friends - good enough that they don't run off to their other mates when we get into clubs.

So yeah and the only people I know are my roommates atm so its not like there's options for me to be more social. Just wondering if anyone else is hating social life at Uni so far or whether its just me? Thing is I know I'm not gonna make any mates this year as like I said, everyone already has their own friend groups and its too awkward joining em when you are barely friends with that 1 acquitance you know in the group.

Even if I meet people in my course, they will all already have their mates meaning that again it'll be tough.
Hello! Let's start this off nice... the fact that we established communication through this message means... well, WE ARE FRIENDS XD So feel free to express yourself even further if you so desire.
Now, you need to realise that you've only just started, meaning you've realistically more time to establish relations with some people over there. You'll feel isolated at first but it doesn't last forever, I guarantee it. University courses oblige you to work together with other people in order to execute some assignments too. So later down the line you'll have to speak with others... WHEN THAT HAPPENS, just be yourself! Who's meant to befriend you will befriend you.

As for the more popular individuals around you, recognise that they are human too. If they have their pals, that's an advantage for them. That does not reduce your value, mate. Also, you aren't the only loner at uni. I hope you know that.

Now, to illustrate how it could happen, let me use an example...
In my first week, I met... well, nobody.
One day i just saw someone set the Pornhub theme as their ringtone... so what did i do?
went up to him and raised one eye brow...
he was nervous... until i spoke...
"Nicole Aniston?"
He immediately caught on and replied:
"August Ames"
we laughed it off and began hanging out! That guy is now my homie, Khan. He then introduced me to some folks he knew, and we started hiking, going to the beach and even having sleepovers.
We then further learnt about each other and that made us grow closer. And all this happened because of our PORN ADDICTION! XD.

I use this example just to show that "All roads lead to Rome". There are way too many ways you can make friends. Put yourself out there, don't shy away from being the way you are. Also, ignore the exaggerated memes that make uni life seem like hellfire xD It just takes some getting used to. Heavens, you have the courage to sit in a club alone... that takes serious guts.

So honestly, you just need to trust yourself. Give yourself some time, its gonna be fine.
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Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#8
(Original post by Moonlight Rain)
I've been in my seminars and accommodation, and no friends lol. I feel kind of invisible. Though I'm not making much effort anyway, oh well
I've made 0 effort in lecturers but tbf how can I make an effort when they don't give us time to speak to those around us, we haven't had seminars yet (where there's less people in class). In my accomodation, I've got 3 acquitances but none of them I'd consider friends tbh.
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Moonlight Rain
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#9
Report 3 months ago
#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
I've made 0 effort in lecturers but tbf how can I make an effort when they don't give us time to speak to those around us, we haven't had seminars yet (where there's less people in class). In my accomodation, I've got 3 acquitances but none of them I'd consider friends tbh.
At least it's just you haven't had a chance yet. When you get the chance soon, you can. Unfortunately for me I've had every chance, but it's whatever. I'm sure someone can survive being a loner at uni for like 3 years.
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Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#10
(Original post by Kaijuwede21)
Hello! Let's start this off nice... the fact that we established communication through this message means... well, WE ARE FRIENDS XD So feel free to express yourself even further if you so desire.
Now, you need to realise that you've only just started, meaning you've realistically more time to establish relations with some people over there. You'll feel isolated at first but it doesn't last forever, I guarantee it. University courses oblige you to work together with other people in order to execute some assignments too. So later down the line you'll have to speak with others... WHEN THAT HAPPENS, just be yourself! Who's meant to befriend you will befriend you.

As for the more popular individuals around you, recognise that they are human too. If they have their pals, that's an advantage for them. That does not reduce your value, mate. Also, you aren't the only loner at uni. I hope you know that.

Now, to illustrate how it could happen, let me use an example...
In my first week, I met... well, nobody.
One day i just saw someone set the Pornhub theme as their ringtone... so what did i do?
went up to him and raised one eye brow...
he was nervous... until i spoke...
"Nicole Aniston?"
He immediately caught on and replied:
"August Ames"
we laughed it off and began hanging out! That guy is now my homie, Khan. He then introduced me to some folks he knew, and we started hiking, going to the beach and even having sleepovers.
We then further learnt about each other and that made us grow closer. And all this happened because of our PORN ADDICTION! XD.

I use this example just to show that "All roads lead to Rome". There are way too many ways you can make friends. Put yourself out there, don't shy away from being the way you are. Also, ignore the exaggerated memes that make uni life seem like hellfire xD It just takes some getting used to. Heavens, you have the courage to sit in a club alone... that takes serious guts.

So honestly, you just need to trust yourself. Give yourself some time, its gonna be fine.
Trust me, it'll last forever. I didnt make any mates during college, just acquaintances. All of my home friends are from secondary school, with one of my closest ones also going to my primary too.

Those group tasks will happen in months time though aswell. What am I gonna do between now and then? Continue to be a loner pm. Man, its depressing I've got a friend aswell who's at a different Uni and he's had the opposite social life.

I haven't seen any other loners at Uni other than me. All my roommates came to Uni knowing people and those that didn't in other halls and flats will probably have made mates with their roommates meaning I won't have anyone to hang out with. By the looks of it, this looks like their final Uni friend groups too.
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Anonymous #1
#11
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
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(Original post by Moonlight Rain)
At least it's just you haven't had a chance yet. When you get the chance soon, you can. Unfortunately for me I've had every chance, but it's whatever. I'm sure someone can survive being a loner at uni for like 3 years.
What year are you in? Year 3? And trust me itll be the same with me I can almost guarantee you it. I guess I still have societies and seminars to hope for but I don't have high expectations especially when I'm only joining 1 society this year.
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Surnia
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#12
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#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
Who am I going to meet off-campus? In my course we aren't having seminars for another month or so and there's only 1 society I'm even remotely interested in.
Job? Volunteering? Mentoring? Sports/keep fit classes? Church? Hobbies? There's plenty of places to meet people.
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1582
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#13
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#13
You just need to put yourself out there!

I'm on week three of my course. The night before our course started I hosted a Zoom party for my classmates, the day after it officially started a group of us went out for drinks, and since then we've had weekly study sessions and drinks nights occurring. The group has been gradually getting bigger.
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Kaijuwede21
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#14
Report 3 months ago
#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
Trust me, it'll last forever. I didnt make any mates during college, just acquaintances. All of my home friends are from secondary school, with one of my closest ones also going to my primary too.

Those group tasks will happen in months time though aswell. What am I gonna do between now and then? Continue to be a loner pm. Man, its depressing I've got a friend aswell who's at a different Uni and he's had the opposite social life.

I haven't seen any other loners at Uni other than me. All my roommates came to Uni knowing people and those that didn't in other halls and flats will probably have made mates with their roommates meaning I won't have anyone to hang out with. By the looks of it, this looks like their final Uni friend groups too.
Realistically, that's an exaggeration. I mean no offense, but this sort of pessimism won't help either. If you tried something genuinely, making friends should seem like second nature pretty soon. Like, for instance, if you just take some time and become more active with club activities of even study activities, you'll make friends with the greatest of ease.
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Moonlight Rain
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#15
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#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
What year are you in? Year 3? And trust me itll be the same with me I can almost guarantee you it. I guess I still have societies and seminars to hope for but I don't have high expectations especially when I'm only joining 1 society this year.
I just started but I know I'll be in the same situation for 3 years. Same! I was only interested in one society but I didn't really want to go to the meet ups. I low-key just am expecting it to just happen to me but that won't happen. Good luck tho
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Anonymous #1
#16
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#16
(Original post by Surnia)
Job? Volunteering? Mentoring? Sports/keep fit classes? Church? Hobbies? There's plenty of places to meet people.
Don't have a job and its unlikely I'll get one, what am I going to volunteer for, not a mentor, I'm a Christian yes but the church society is quite far from where I'm living plus I will not meet anyone similar to me there for sure.

For keep fit classes I'm guessing you mean the gym? I go there 3/4 times a week and I haven't made any friends there and doubt I will. I'm more focused on getting fit there anyways. I have joined the weightlifting society though so thats under my hobbies and societies. But if that doesn't go well and I don't meet anyone in lecturers/seminars then I'll have made no friends this year.

(Original post by Kaijuwede21)
Realistically, that's an exaggeration. I mean no offense, but this sort of pessimism won't help either. If you tried something genuinely, making friends should seem like second nature pretty soon. Like, for instance, if you just take some time and become more active with club activities of even study activities, you'll make friends with the greatest of ease.
I didnt make any friends during college, only acquaitnances that I don't speak to anymore really. Only do when I see them. So whats gonna be different with Uni, plus there are many people on here that haven't met anyone at Uni. I reckon I'll be the same too. And there's only 1 club I'm even in the slightest interested in and thats weightlifting and its not even because of being a bodybuilder. The only reason I'm joining it really is so I can get good guidance on form when lifting weights and hopefully I'll be able to barbell curl some too as obviously you can't when there's not a person watching you.
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Anonymous #1
#17
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#17
(Original post by 1582)
You just need to put yourself out there!

I'm on week three of my course. The night before our course started I hosted a Zoom party for my classmates, the day after it officially started a group of us went out for drinks, and since then we've had weekly study sessions and drinks nights occurring. The group has been gradually getting bigger.
I wish it was that easy for me to do the same but everyone here has their own friend group already. Basically unless I get along really well with people in my course or if I meet a load of people in the weightlifting society, I'll have ended first year with no friends.

(Original post by Moonlight Rain)
I just started but I know I'll be in the same situation for 3 years. Same! I was only interested in one society but I didn't really want to go to the meet ups. I low-key just am expecting it to just happen to me but that won't happen. Good luck tho
Good luck to you too and yeah at least we both can accept our current situations lol. Both of us know its not gonna get any better which is good I guess because it means we don't get our hopes up.

The thing is though I'm not even that interested in doing weightlifting seriously. just wanna improve my form and barbell curl weights. If it wasn't for that I wouldn't be interested in that either. I might join basketball in year 2 when I'm in top shape but even then its mainly filled with tryhards etc. Whats the point when I only wanna have fun playing it.
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Kaijuwede21
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
Don't have a job and its unlikely I'll get one, what am I going to volunteer for, not a mentor, I'm a Christian yes but the church society is quite far from where I'm living plus I will not meet anyone similar to me there for sure.

For keep fit classes I'm guessing you mean the gym? I go there 3/4 times a week and I haven't made any friends there and doubt I will. I'm more focused on getting fit there anyways. I have joined the weightlifting society though so thats under my hobbies and societies. But if that doesn't go well and I don't meet anyone in lecturers/seminars then I'll have made no friends this year.


I didnt make any friends during college, only acquaitnances that I don't speak to anymore really. Only do when I see them. So whats gonna be different with Uni, plus there are many people on here that haven't met anyone at Uni. I reckon I'll be the same too. And there's only 1 club I'm even in the slightest interested in and thats weightlifting and its not even because of being a bodybuilder. The only reason I'm joining it really is so I can get good guidance on form when lifting weights and hopefully I'll be able to barbell curl some too as obviously you can't when there's not a person watching you.
i think the fact that so many others are having the same issue should be a positive. I reckon the gymbrahs will be cool with you and everything...
dont be dishearted... you seem like a pretty chill fellow anyways.
All you gotta do is give it some time. Plus, the past is the past. so get that outta your head
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Ayushi02
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#19
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#19
(Original post by Anonymous)
Trust me, it'll last forever. I didnt make any mates during college, just acquaintances. All of my home friends are from secondary school, with one of my closest ones also going to my primary too.

Those group tasks will happen in months time though aswell. What am I gonna do between now and then? Continue to be a loner pm. Man, its depressing I've got a friend aswell who's at a different Uni and he's had the opposite social life.

I haven't seen any other loners at Uni other than me. All my roommates came to Uni knowing people and those that didn't in other halls and flats will probably have made mates with their roommates meaning I won't have anyone to hang out with. By the looks of it, this looks like their final Uni friend groups too.
WAIT! people are coming to uni knowing people beforehand? BUT THEY SAID EVERYONE IS IN THE SAME BOAT! they lied, it seems.
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anonymous5912
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#20
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#20
(Original post by Anonymous)
I am so disappointed with university life, can't lie. Made 0 friends and today is the first proper day of Uni (last week was freshers week). I'll definitely make 0 this year, I can already tell and Uni groups are meant to be formed at the end of the first semester so it'll be harder and harder. The only people I know are my roommates and all of them have their own friend groups so its already peak there. I've not became friends with any of my roommates. None literally. Just acquitances with all of them bar 1 guy I don't speak to really. So the 3 guys I'm acquaintances with - only one of them goes to the clubs I'm interested in but the thing is he knows many people as he came with mates from his college. I came with no one meanwhile. So basically its happened twice now where I get into the club with him and he goes off to many different mates meaning I'm stuck vibing in the corner like a weirdo with no mates. Man its awful I can't lie.

I know I'm not the most social but I'm not following my 1 acquaintance around everywhere whilst he speaks to people hes best mates with. So like I said my only option was to vibe alone pm and my mates back at home even said themselves that going alone at a club looks weird and they are right tbh, I didnt see anyone else alone. Happened twice now but I learned my lesson for sure that I shouldn't go clubbing until I make good friends - good enough that they don't run off to their other mates when we get into clubs.

So yeah and the only people I know are my roommates atm so its not like there's options for me to be more social. Just wondering if anyone else is hating social life at Uni so far or whether its just me? Thing is I know I'm not gonna make any mates this year as like I said, everyone already has their own friend groups and its too awkward joining em when you are barely friends with that 1 acquitance you know in the group.

Even if I meet people in my course, they will all already have their mates meaning that again it'll be tough.
Yeah literally I thought I would make so many new friends but it's like everyone else clicks but me I have no one to chill with so I'm just stuck in my room my flatmates don't include me in things either it's so horrible. I feel like university life was so overrated and I wish I stayed home.
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