Boyfrind is jealous of my teacher, is this wierd?

Anon because he may use this site.
I don't know if this belongs here but oh well.
I'll say 'the teacher' because dont want to say his name.

Okie so my boyfriend thinks its really wierd that I see my teacher outside school. Im in my last year of sixth form so teachers are more like mates now anyway. I don't see the problem because I see him as just another friend but I think my boyfriend is jealous at the fact I spend time with 'the teacher.' 'The teacher' buys me stuff quiet often but put that down to me doing well in school. Also he invited me to his house the other day, I said I would go but my boyfriend doesnt want me to go. I respect his opinion and if he doesnt want me to go I wont but I really cant see the problem. I've meet up with 'the teacher' a few times in pubs and stuff and i see him as only a friend.

So my question is, would you be mates with a teacher, would you allow your boyfriend or girlfriend to be close to a teacher or do you find it wired?

thanks =]

Reply 1

thanette

i'm a teacher,and would never be mates with a pupil-especially seeing them outside of school,buying them things and inviting them to my house-particularly if it was a member of the opposite sex! And your bf may be worried for these reasons as well as experiencing jealousy. I'd bet quite confidently that the headteacher of your school would be alarmed if they knew this male teacher's actions.

Reply 2

rummang

1

He buys you stuff and has invited you to his house? That is quite odd.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Honestly if my girlfriend was going to see her teacher that was under the age of 35ish(?) i'd be concerned and would tell her to stop. I wouldnt want her going to his house and him buying her presents.

I dont think he's buying you presents because you're doing well in school.

Just my honest opinion.

Reply 4

Electric_Dreams

9

Erm... it does sound a bit strange.

Reply 5

MichaelG

12

your boyfriend is jealous because he has seen lots of teacher-pupil relationships blown up in the media over recent months. he just doesnt want that to happen is all! :smile:

i bet you he is fine when you see your mates that are guys! :biggrin:

Reply 6

alenax

14

I don't think he's being too unreasonable. In my opinion, teachers should keep their distance.

Reply 7

Ghost

20

It's very odd for a teacher to be friends with a pupil. If I was your boyfriend, I'd be pissed too.

Reply 8

neebo

3

That's pretty odd.
I'm a lot closer to all of my teachers in sixth form as I am treated as more of an equal by them.

But inviting you to his house and buying presents?
That's taking it a bit too far.

Reply 9

Cytotoxic

Anonymous

Anon because he may use this site.
I don't know if this belongs here but oh well.
I'll say 'the teacher' because dont want to say his name.

Okie so my boyfriend thinks its really wierd that I see my teacher outside school. Im in my last year of sixth form so teachers are more like mates now anyway. I don't see the problem because I see him as just another friend but I think my boyfriend is jealous at the fact I spend time with 'the teacher.' 'The teacher' buys me stuff quiet often but put that down to me doing well in school. Also he invited me to his house the other day, I said I would go but my boyfriend doesnt want me to go. I respect his opinion and if he doesnt want me to go I wont but I really cant see the problem. I've meet up with 'the teacher' a few times in pubs and stuff and i see him as only a friend.

So my question is, would you be mates with a teacher, would you allow your boyfriend or girlfriend to be close to a teacher or do you find it wired?

thanks =]

The only weird thing here is your relationship with this teacher - it's not right. At the end of the day teachers aren't there to be your friend, 6th form or not.

Reply 10

ssl9165

9

Have you been spending more time with your teacher than your boyfriend lately? Because it might be that he is feeling left out and that you have more common with this teacher than you do with him.
I do think it a bit odd that your teacher is giving you so much attention, regardless of you almost finishing sixth-form, but then I don't know your situation personally. It might be better if you ask your teacher to sort of cool your relationship for a while, i.e. ask to keep things strictly on teacher-pupil level for a month or so and see how your teacher reacts. If he isn't interested in you outside of you being his pupil then he shouldn't be offended.
Was your friendship with this teacher made before or after your relationship with your boyfriend?

Reply 11

Phantom Phoenix

13

That isn't usual behaviour; I'd be concerned about the teacher's motives.

Reply 12

claireythepinkfairy

Tbh this teacher should know better. Even if he does genuinely just want to be friends, until you finish at that school your relationship should remain professional because he is in a position of care. Him inviting you to his house is very strange and suspicious and your boyfriend has the right to be worried.

Reply 13

Dr.Hox

9

He could get into a lot of trouble for what hes doing. And hes inviting you and you alone to his house, then yeh, its definitely worrying.

Reply 14

hannah_dru

2

I can see why he's concerned but it sounds like he's partly worried and partly jealous. Explain to him that there's nothing going on between you and this teacher and that you're just mates.

Reply 15

hannahhi

15

I'd say the teacher's behaviour is weirder..

Reply 16

member101

1

Why is that strange? At my school there was a girl who'd been placed into care, because her mum would physically abuse her. She told the child protection officer this and was just really close to the CP officer/teacher. The teacher now sees her outside of school and they go shopping together, and the girl goes to the teacher's house.

Reply 17

hannah_dru

2

Depends. Obviously you can get teacher-student relationships where the teacher does have some hidden motives but not always. I had a friendship exactly like the one the OP's describing but with my ex female tutor. No hidden motives, just a friendship.