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Can you have a good social life without a friendship group?

I've just started university, one month ago, and I've noticed that everyone has already become a part of a friendship group. I've not been able to do this so easily, so although I've made 2-3 good friends, I'm not part of any friendship group. These people that I'm friends with, are part of their own group of friends, and as a result I have a lot of acquaintances, but no go-to group of friends. I just hop from group to group, so I feel like a tag-along whenever I join these groups. I'm also never invited to nights out, and only find out about them through social media the next day. This is all despite making an effort to be sociable.

I wanted to ask whether anyone else faces this problem? Can I still have a good social life this way? and, what can I do to get over this problem?
I actually don't mind not being that guy that has has different friend groups I get invited to multiple outings and expand my socials more then if I where to stay in just one group all the time.

I guess the advice I can give you is to try and isolate certain people where you can spend time with more often which creates a tighter friendship bond, hence as a result being invited more often to a certain group. Spending time is probably the number 1 way of intergrating into a specific group.
Original post by Anonymous
I've just started university, one month ago, and I've noticed that everyone has already become a part of a friendship group. I've not been able to do this so easily, so although I've made 2-3 good friends, I'm not part of any friendship group. These people that I'm friends with, are part of their own group of friends, and as a result I have a lot of acquaintances, but no go-to group of friends. I just hop from group to group, so I feel like a tag-along whenever I join these groups. I'm also never invited to nights out, and only find out about them through social media the next day. This is all despite making an effort to be sociable.

I wanted to ask whether anyone else faces this problem? Can I still have a good social life this way? and, what can I do to get over this problem?

Hi!
It's so good for you to have shared this: a lot of students feel this way and have nowhere to turn to. Incidentally that was me for a good two months at the beginning of university last year. I used to hangout with a group of people who were already friends and had even more friends. So for some time I felt lonely, but in time I got over this problem.

I think the best way to go about this is being very patient although it can get frustrating. Make sure you spend time with the friends you already have because over time they might invite you to socials, gatherings and parties. Also, don't be afraid to take initiatives yourself and ask what their plans are for the weekend or for the day: that will show them you are actually interested. If you don't feel included enough you can speak to your friends and tell them how you feel. That really worked for me when I felt like I wasn't being told what was happing and when. Overall, try and spend time around your people, it will help them and you to familiarise with each other. Then obviously, always be yourself in a very sociable way and get comfortable! Things like this do take time, so trust the process.

I hope this helps! Please don't hesitate to ask more questions if there are more.

Tracy :smile:
- UCK Rep
Original post by Anonymous
I've just started university, one month ago, and I've noticed that everyone has already become a part of a friendship group. I've not been able to do this so easily, so although I've made 2-3 good friends, I'm not part of any friendship group. These people that I'm friends with, are part of their own group of friends, and as a result I have a lot of acquaintances, but no go-to group of friends. I just hop from group to group, so I feel like a tag-along whenever I join these groups. I'm also never invited to nights out, and only find out about them through social media the next day. This is all despite making an effort to be sociable.

I wanted to ask whether anyone else faces this problem? Can I still have a good social life this way? and, what can I do to get over this problem?

Hey! Just wanted to check in and see how you was doing?

I'm sorry to hear you feel like a tag-along, like other users have commented below can you perhaps make the plans and invite everyone to them? If it goes well, you could start doing it more often and start to feel more included in the friendship group. Have you also added them on social media? You could start small by replying to their Instagram stories, just to keep showing them you're interested in being involved.

It's great to hear you're putting in lots of effort though, I know when I was a student I was very nervous of making friends and would often feel left out of group situations as well - it can be very daunting! Just keep trying your best with people, you can't do more than that :smile:

Have you joined any clubs or societies? That way you're regularly around people with the same interests as you, and I'm sure there'll be lots of social events to attend with other members, so you might form a group that way.

I hope everything goes well with your studies!

Becky

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