URGENT!! English descriptive writing Essay

Can somebody mark my GCSE English descriptive writing please (due 10th Sunday)
London
A luminous light strikes through the window, the vibrant gleam of a new day. As I draw the curtains aside, dazzling sunlight pours into the room, filling it with the blaze of the bright golden ball itself, creeping its way up and over the tall skyscrapers. Birds are perched on rooftops, surveying the city below: the city of London.
The buzz of the city awakens me, walking out of the hotel there are crowds like flocks of birds, tottering round on their mini stump feet the cluster of pigeons people swivelling and swerving around each other. People are leaving and entering the underground station in a bustle. As I try to integrate with the crowd, a man cuts across me, the corner of his black suede briefcase strikes against my arm causing me to slightly stumble, his flawlessly ironed trousers brush against his perfectly polished shoes and there isn't a crease to be seen on his blazer. He seems to be occupied with a phone call as he speedily weaves between people. I walk into the underground station, a worker tells me where to go, I can barely make out what she is saying over the announcements and beeping of the gates. Navigating the city seems like trying to find the centre of a maze. It is like steering through the intricate network of labyrinth tunnels; a spider's web constructed in an intertwining and perplexing system.
Arriving at Oxford Street my heart pounds faster and my eyes dart around the place, a rush of exhilaration races throughout my body. Salespeople are calling out to the crowds which draw tourists to their stalls. I am tempted to purchase from a small stand, the array of freshly made smoothies which are laid out in front of me, vivid rich magentas and marigold orange. I select a combination of fruit and place it in a blender, I watch as the blend of striking colours combine into a brilliant deep crimson. The fusion of fruits strike my taste buds; my tensed muscles relax as I take in the moment. Further up the street I walk near designer stores, glancing into the displays where there are eye catching, lustrous pieces of jewellery, all real gold and silver, emitting flickers of shimmer and sparkle. The street seems to be endless, strolling along the evermore rows of shops, I continue to explore London.
A few stations away is the part of London that makes me feel slightly uneasy, it is unexpected and unfamiliar to most. Identical flats run forever in rows and rows, some have balconies although most are broken and rusty. Crusty beige paint peeling off the sides of the bleak flats. Cigarette buts and chewing gum are welded into the uneven cobblestone ground that runs down the replicating alleyways. Brick that would have been red but now stained due to the thick, musty air, lurking around in the atmosphere. Overgrown grass and weeds sprout up between the crevices and crackes of the cobblestones and through the holes in the walls of the stale grey buildings. At the front of stores, jaded men sit with one another accompanied by their shishas. The pungent smell of fried food along with the scent of rotting rubbish wafts through the dense air, I turn my head in an attempt to avoid the unpleasant smells. One of the men tries to welcome me into his takeaway. His trousers have paint marks on them and holes at the knees. His once white t-shirt is stained yellow and he wears black worn-down trainers. Beside him sit discoloured and abandoned plant pots, wilted flowers wearily peek through the towering, tall weeds. Along the street several people approach me, stating their restaurant deals or attempting to sells some tawdry string bracelets, each and every person hustling for money. Not far from me I hear a sharp shriek, I rapidly spin around, my heart beating in my throat, a fight is breaking out; someone has been stealing from a shop. One man pins the other to the ground and grabs him by the collar. I fling my hand to my mouth. Everything seem like a blur, a slow-motion sensation, as if I'm frozen in the moment, thoughts rushing through my head and my hands are trembling. My parents pull me away from the scene. Stumbling along, I envision the fight replaying in my head, I can't imagine what happened next. I feel uneasy, my heart is still pounding and I breathe heavily. I slowly walk to the underground and feel the rumbling of the trains beneath my feet, like the heavy tread of the unseen monsters.
I find myself back at the hotel soon enough. My eyelids heavy, I still manage to capture the radiant blend of hues which engulf the chalk grey sky. I watch as the city lights turn on one by one, car headlights reflect off one another as the sun steadily sets. The warming rays shine against my skin as lustrous golden beams gleam through my window and reflects off the ends of the silk white bed sheets. The sun is now set and the day is done.