Anonymous #1
#1
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I have only been at uni for 2 weeks but so far I have been miserable every day. I have made friends and have been to clubs but I still miss home and I have no one to talk to. I like my course and I like my uni I just hate being here. I want to go home but I don’t want to drop out. I don’t want to tell my parents as I don’t want to worry them but I have no one else to talk to. I miss my family and pets, even my job so much that it makes me feel physically sick to think about staying here until Christmas let alone the next 3+ years. I want to go home to visit but I know that if I do I’m going to be even more upset when I have to come back. I don’t know what to do. I have never felt more upset or lost. I feel like I need to stick it out for at least a month but when I’m not in my lectures I sit in bed crying.
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aliaa03
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I’m so sorry that you feel like this. Please remember that you’re not alone and thousands of students around the country feel homesick too.

It will take some getting used to, but think about your course, why did you choose it, think about your dream career, don’t give up yet. Give it at least a month and try get involved in some activities at your uni and make it feel like a second home. Have you joined any societies? They are a great way to have fun and make friends. I know you miss your family and pets but this is a new stage of your life and once you get adapted to it I’m sure you will absolutely love uni. Remember you can FaceTime them and see them at Christmas, for now focus on yourself and how you can have fun at uni rather than thinking about all the things back home.

Spend more time with your friends, go explore your city, get a part time job or join a society, make the most of your uni experience and try get involved in everything. I know it’s so overwhelming and out of your comfort zone but if you push yourself a tiny bit more each day I’m sure that it will soon start feeling homely. I hope this helps, if you ever wanna talk or vent or anything please do message me.
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Anonymous #1
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Thank you for replying. Seems like everyone here already has big friendship groups and everyone who went to uni from my home town is having a great time which makes my situation feel so much worse.

I joined societies which start this week and hopefully I will enjoy them. I also tried going to some sports events but didn’t enjoy them that much and felt like the people there were too different to me.

I like my current friends here but they are big on partying and smoking which isn’t what I enjoy. They sleep in till late which, me being an early bird, means that I’m sitting alone in my room or walking aimlessly around campus overthinking things and making myself more upset.

Talking to my family also upsets me as I just think about how far away from them I am. They think I’m doing fine at uni and I want them to think I’m happy so they don’t worry but it’s hard. On the other hand I want to tell them how I’m feeling but there’s nothing they can do and I don’t know how I would even begin to tell them.

I’m sorry for being such a drama queen. I just want people to talk to
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aliaa03
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you for replying. Seems like everyone here already has big friendship groups and everyone who went to uni from my home town is having a great time which makes my situation feel so much worse.

I joined societies which start this week and hopefully I will enjoy them. I also tried going to some sports events but didn’t enjoy them that much and felt like the people there were too different to me.

I like my current friends here but they are big on partying and smoking which isn’t what I enjoy. They sleep in till late which, me being an early bird, means that I’m sitting alone in my room or walking aimlessly around campus overthinking things and making myself more upset.

Talking to my family also upsets me as I just think about how far away from them I am. They think I’m doing fine at uni and I want them to think I’m happy so they don’t worry but it’s hard. On the other hand I want to tell them how I’m feeling but there’s nothing they can do and I don’t know how I would even begin to tell them.

I’m sorry for being such a drama queen. I just want people to talk to
You’re not being a drama queen at all, I completely understand how you must be feeling !!

Honestly finding the right group / fit for you is just trial and error. There will be some societies that will have you wanting to leave after 10 mins and some you will absolutely love and meet the best group of people there. Just remember you have NO obligation towards a society so just turn up to anything that appeals to you, and if you like it then great, but if not that’s okay, just keep trying different ones each week until you find something you like

That’s okay, I don’t drink and sometimes it can be hard when your friends are drunk and you’re not. I like to mill around and find people who are actually studying in the cafes or libraries in the evening rather than in the club, then just go up and ask if you can sit with them, if they don’t seem too absorbed in their work I’m sure they won’t mind at all, then you can start a convo, and that’s a good way to make friends with people who aren’t that into partying, by meeting people in the evening who are doing things aside from clubbing 😂
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Anonymous #1
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Thank you! I do think that I just need to give it time, just wish I was closer to home. I don’t know weather to go back and visit or not. I think it may make it harder to come back but also I have nothing else to do on the weekend and would just be moping around. Do you recommend staying at uni a while before going back home? I want to talk to my family about how I’m feeling but don’t know how I’d start the conversation really.
Thank you again!
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aliaa03
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you! I do think that I just need to give it time, just wish I was closer to home. I don’t know weather to go back and visit or not. I think it may make it harder to come back but also I have nothing else to do on the weekend and would just be moping around. Do you recommend staying at uni a while before going back home? I want to talk to my family about how I’m feeling but don’t know how I’d start the conversation really.
Thank you again!
Hi

I would personally reccomend trying to stick it out for a couple of more weeks before going to visit, otherwise it’ll make the process of adjusting to uni even harder when you try go back.

You could always go with the casual “how are you?” and then when they ask how you are you could just say ehhh i’m feeling a little lonely as my friends are ____ and i don’t really feel like joining in??? then they’ll start asking you about how you’re getting along in terms of feeling lonely and then just take the convo from there?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by aliaa03)
Hi

I would personally reccomend trying to stick it out for a couple of more weeks before going to visit, otherwise it’ll make the process of adjusting to uni even harder when you try go back.

You could always go with the casual “how are you?” and then when they ask how you are you could just say ehhh i’m feeling a little lonely as my friends are ____ and i don’t really feel like joining in??? then they’ll start asking you about how you’re getting along in terms of feeling lonely and then just take the convo from there?
Yes I’ll see how I get on this week and decide if I’ll wait to go home then. I reckon my parents would probably say the same thing to be honest. I still want to be home though! Thank you again!
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aliaa03
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes I’ll see how I get on this week and decide if I’ll wait to go home then. I reckon my parents would probably say the same thing to be honest. I still want to be home though! Thank you again!
no problem at all. please keep me updated on how you’re getting on!!!!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by aliaa03)
no problem at all. please keep me updated on how you’re getting on!!!!
I will! X
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Scotney
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have only been at uni for 2 weeks but so far I have been miserable every day. I have made friends and have been to clubs but I still miss home and I have no one to talk to. I like my course and I like my uni I just hate being here. I want to go home but I don’t want to drop out. I don’t want to tell my parents as I don’t want to worry them but I have no one else to talk to. I miss my family and pets, even my job so much that it makes me feel physically sick to think about staying here until Christmas let alone the next 3+ years. I want to go home to visit but I know that if I do I’m going to be even more upset when I have to come back. I don’t know what to do. I have never felt more upset or lost. I feel like I need to stick it out for at least a month but when I’m not in my lectures I sit in bed crying.
The best piece of advice I can give is join a society or group which meets on Sunday. It is a killer of a day if you are homesick and have nothing planned. Pay no heed to the everyone else is happy stories as many are probably feeling the same as you. Plan your trip home in two weeks and then try and put it to oneside. Being homesick is awful but it does pass and is also entirely normal and understandable. It is a lot to take in new town, new home, new people but stick with it, it will get better.
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Fruity Girl
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When each of my sons went to uni - I happened to have a work course to attend 3 weeks later and rang and asked if they fancied dinner and a chat as I was close. So rather than them coming home when they were a little homesick they got a nice meal out and a good chat with a familiar face for 2-3 hrs. Obviously dropped them back to Halls with a quick trip to the supermarket first for tasty food and £20 note in the pocket. Both came home in early November for the first time in their respective 1st years for a wider family annual party with fireworks. By then they were much more settled and happy. It will get better
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aliaa03
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(Original post by Fruity Girl)
When each of my sons went to uni - I happened to have a work course to attend 3 weeks later and rang and asked if they fancied dinner and a chat as I was close. So rather than them coming home when they were a little homesick they got a nice meal out and a good chat with a familiar face for 2-3 hrs. Obviously dropped them back to Halls with a quick trip to the supermarket first for tasty food and £20 note in the pocket. Both came home in early November for the first time in their respective 1st years for a wider family annual party with fireworks. By then they were much more settled and happy. It will get better
You sound like an amazing mom this is such a good idea !!!!
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Fruity Girl
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(Original post by aliaa03)
You sound like an amazing mom this is such a good idea !!!!
Not really - just know that I loved uni but the first few weeks are tough if you’ve got close bonds with your family / friends but you relax and start to enjoy it after a few weeks - but those first few weeks are hard
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Scotney
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PRSOM
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Fruity Girl
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(Original post by Scotney)
PRSOM
Had to look this up 😂🤣 (I’m a mum lol) but thanks if it’s for me
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Scotney
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(Original post by Fruity Girl)
Had to look this up 😂🤣 (I’m a mum lol) but thanks if it’s for me
Been there done that! Yes it was!
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aliaa03
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(Original post by Fruity Girl)
Had to look this up 😂🤣 (I’m a mum lol) but thanks if it’s for me
i’m 18 and had to look it up first time someone said it to me as well so dw 😂😂😂
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University of Bradford
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have only been at uni for 2 weeks but so far I have been miserable every day. I have made friends and have been to clubs but I still miss home and I have no one to talk to. I like my course and I like my uni I just hate being here. I want to go home but I don’t want to drop out. I don’t want to tell my parents as I don’t want to worry them but I have no one else to talk to. I miss my family and pets, even my job so much that it makes me feel physically sick to think about staying here until Christmas let alone the next 3+ years. I want to go home to visit but I know that if I do I’m going to be even more upset when I have to come back. I don’t know what to do. I have never felt more upset or lost. I feel like I need to stick it out for at least a month but when I’m not in my lectures I sit in bed crying.
Hey!

I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing? How have the societies been? I hope you've had the opportunity to speak to some new people. If you're looking for other ways to meet new people, I'd recommend looking at becoming a student ambassador, getting involved in volunteering or finding part-time work on campus - all fab ways of making friends!

I'm glad to hear you're enjoying your course and liking the university you're at. What are you studying?

Have you been keeping in contact with family and friends this week? Perhaps it would be good to make plans with them, whether it's soon or over the Christmas break, just having something to look forward to can help ease your mind.

I wish you the very best of luck with everything!

Becky
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