university - living at home, missing lectures due to anxiety

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Anonymous36617
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Hi there, I am in my second year of uni, I just feel really lost nervous and scared to be honest. Due to covid I have not met anyone from my course, I literally know nobody. I have missed 4 of my lectures as I just feel to scared and unprepared to go. I don't know where half the facilities in uni are like the libraries or the cafes. I am basically just lost. everyone else has made their groups as they live together go to clubs - but that's not my thing.

I just feel really out of my depths. I am quite petite and basically look like a year 6 which adds to the worries stated above. I feel like im not the fit for uni, the course is okay but its not what I expected and as I hadn't been to uni in first year as all the lectures were online I have made no friends and I am not used to uni. I just feel scared ngl. My dad this morning unknowingly contributed to me feeling crap about myself by saying 'you look like a little kid I don't think your going to like uni'. I am a nervous, quiet individual, atm uni just feels like the worst thing. I would rather stay at home and look at the power points, but I will have to be brave and just go and give it a go.
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Transit custom
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(Original post by Anonymous36617)
Hi there, I am in my second year of uni, I just feel really lost nervous and scared to be honest. Due to covid I have not met anyone from my course, I literally know nobody. I have missed 4 of my lectures as I just feel to scared and unprepared to go. I don't know where half the facilities in uni are like the libraries or the cafes. I am basically just lost. everyone else has made their groups as they live together go to clubs - but that's not my thing.

I just feel really out of my depths. I am quite petite and basically look like a year 6 which adds to the worries stated above. I feel like im not the fit for uni, the course is okay but its not what I expected and as I hadn't been to uni in first year as all the lectures were online I have made no friends and I am not used to uni. I just feel scared ngl. My dad this morning unknowingly contributed to me feeling crap about myself by saying 'you look like a little kid I don't think your going to like uni'. I am a nervous, quiet individual, atm uni just feels like the worst thing. I would rather stay at home and look at the power points, but I will have to be brave and just go and give it a go.
So basically you can't be bothered...
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JackieRolf
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(Original post by Transit custom)
So basically you can't be bothered...
That’s pretty harsh……I hope you never find yourself in a similar situation, and get a similar comment.
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Anonymous36617
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(Original post by Transit custom)
So basically you can't be bothered...
Honestly I am bothered, I am academic, I did manage to get decent A Levels but I feel the lack of events or whatever have meant that I have met nobody. I am not a very independent person that's why I choose to stay at home. I suppose we probably have very different personalities so you probably don't understand where I am coming from and probably think I am some lazy person.
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Anonymous36617
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(Original post by JackieRolf)
That’s pretty harsh……I hope you never find yourself in a similar situation, and get a similar comment.
Thank you : )
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Transit custom
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That’s pretty harsh……I hope you never find yourself in a similar situation, and get a similar comment.
People use the magic word “depression” and use it as a get out of jail free card to behave however they like making it worse for those who have real issues.
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Karim768
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If anxiety is having such a detrimental impact on you it is time for you to seek further help. Your GP should be your next port of call. Help is available in the form of medications or therapy, even both combined whatever works best for you.

The way you feel right now is temporary, brighter days are ahead of you, I’m sure of it.

Best wishes to you, you can do it!
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JackieRolf
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(Original post by Anonymous36617)
Hi there, I am in my second year of uni, I just feel really lost nervous and scared to be honest. Due to covid I have not met anyone from my course, I literally know nobody. I have missed 4 of my lectures as I just feel to scared and unprepared to go. I don't know where half the facilities in uni are like the libraries or the cafes. I am basically just lost. everyone else has made their groups as they live together go to clubs - but that's not my thing.

I just feel really out of my depths. I am quite petite and basically look like a year 6 which adds to the worries stated above. I feel like im not the fit for uni, the course is okay but its not what I expected and as I hadn't been to uni in first year as all the lectures were online I have made no friends and I am not used to uni. I just feel scared ngl. My dad this morning unknowingly contributed to me feeling crap about myself by saying 'you look like a little kid I don't think your going to like uni'. I am a nervous, quiet individual, atm uni just feels like the worst thing. I would rather stay at home and look at the power points, but I will have to be brave and just go and give it a go.
I really feel for you, it’s been tough for most people but it sounds as if it’s been especially tough for you.

However I sense you’re well on the way to plucking up the courage to give it a try, am I right? I’ll bet many on your course are feeling the same. Not everyone likes clubbing or lives with other students. How about taking baby steps - go to your next lecture and resolve to talk to at least one person before, at or after it. You could even start with something like asking if they’d attended the previous lecture, and admitting you missed it as you were worried about coming in. That should start a discussion. If not with the first, then the 2nd person - don’t give up. Or ask someone to show you where the library is and have a chat on the way. Join a society you’re interested in and ask the head of it to introduce you to other members.

The first time you do each of these things is going to feel hard but soon you’ll be wondering what you were worried about. Trust me - in my first 2 weeks at uni I wondered what on earth I was doing there, felt totally out of place. Then at one lecture I turned to the girl next to me and asked if she understood anything the lecturer was talking about and we’re now the best of friends!

Wishing you lots of luck and courage. You can do this! Please let me know how you get on.
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JackieRolf
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(Original post by JackieRolf)
I really feel for you, it’s been tough for most people but it sounds as if it’s been especially tough for you.

However I sense you’re well on the way to plucking up the courage to give it a try, am I right? I’ll bet many on your course are feeling the same. Not everyone likes clubbing or lives with other students. How about taking baby steps - go to your next lecture and resolve to talk to at least one person before, at or after it. You could even start with something like asking if they’d attended the previous lecture, and admitting you missed it as you were worried about coming in. That should start a discussion. If not with the first, then the 2nd person - don’t give up. Or ask someone to show you where the library is and have a chat on the way. Join a society you’re interested in and ask the head of it to introduce you to other members.

The first time you do each of these things is going to feel hard but soon you’ll be wondering what you were worried about. Trust me - in my first 2 weeks at uni I wondered what on earth I was doing there, felt totally out of place. Then at one lecture I turned to the girl next to me and asked if she understood anything the lecturer was talking about and we’re now the best of friends!

Wishing you lots of luck and courage. You can do this! Please let me know how you get on.
And you can change course if you don’t like it
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Anonymous36617
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(Original post by JackieRolf)
And you can change course if you don’t like it
Thank you soo much for this comment, thank you for understanding me. I have a lecture and seminar next week on Tuesday I will definitely go and try talking to someone and taking little steps. I think what It is for is that I hate being out of my comfort zone, from reception to year 13 I had the same friends I kind of had my safe circle for soo soo long that going out into the ' big world' where there are soo many different kind of people scares me in a way. But like you said 'not every likes clubbing' maybe I will find my kind of people and get on with someone with the same interests.

I will definitely let you know how it goes. but thank you for your message and kindness.
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Anonymous36617
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(Original post by Karim768)
If anxiety is having such a detrimental impact on you it is time for you to seek further help. Your GP should be your next port of call. Help is available in the form of medications or therapy, even both combined whatever works best for you.

The way you feel right now is temporary, brighter days are ahead of you, I’m sure of it.

Best wishes to you, you can do it!
I think I will seek some kind of help, because over thinking and fearing things that are not soo soo serious is probably really dangerous for my mental health. Thank you for your kind message : )
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JackieRolf
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(Original post by Anonymous36617)
Thank you soo much for this comment, thank you for understanding me. I have a lecture and seminar next week on Tuesday I will definitely go and try talking to someone and taking little steps. I think what It is for is that I hate being out of my comfort zone, from reception to year 13 I had the same friends I kind of had my safe circle for soo soo long that going out into the ' big world' where there are soo many different kind of people scares me in a way. But like you said 'not every likes clubbing' maybe I will find my kind of people and get on with someone with the same interests.

I will definitely let you know how it goes. but thank you for your message and kindness.
I can guarantee you will find your tribe - that’s what university is great for - and as for feeling outside your comfort zone, that’s also how you learn the most about yourself and what you can do, who you can be - that’s also one of the great things about uni! You won’t lose the friends from home - and maybe tell them about all the steps forward you’re making, they will support you if they’re true friends - and you will gain some more. Most of my best friends are ones I made at uni. Take care!
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PhoenixFortune
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(Original post by Anonymous36617)
Hi there, I am in my second year of uni, I just feel really lost nervous and scared to be honest. Due to covid I have not met anyone from my course, I literally know nobody. I have missed 4 of my lectures as I just feel to scared and unprepared to go. I don't know where half the facilities in uni are like the libraries or the cafes. I am basically just lost. everyone else has made their groups as they live together go to clubs - but that's not my thing.

I just feel really out of my depths. I am quite petite and basically look like a year 6 which adds to the worries stated above. I feel like im not the fit for uni, the course is okay but its not what I expected and as I hadn't been to uni in first year as all the lectures were online I have made no friends and I am not used to uni. I just feel scared ngl. My dad this morning unknowingly contributed to me feeling crap about myself by saying 'you look like a little kid I don't think your going to like uni'. I am a nervous, quiet individual, atm uni just feels like the worst thing. I would rather stay at home and look at the power points, but I will have to be brave and just go and give it a go.
If you nee support, contact your university's student support services, and your student union. The latter can organise for a peer guide/rep to meet you and show you where everything is, even accompany you to your lecture room if you don't feel confident enough to go alone.
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Chronoscope
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:hugs:
Sounds a little like imposter syndrome + all your normal anxiety (+ starting) which sounds completely normal, but you’re doing great considering giving FTF a go :yep:
Definitely agree with PhoenixFortune - during welcome week (or your unis equivalent) would have likely of had tours on campus showing people around the main areas, I’m sure someone wouldn’t mind showing you round if you emailed and explained your situation :console:
I’d suggest emailing your personal tutor, module convenors as they should be able to give you some advice.

I’d also suggest at some point going and have a wander round your campus by yourself for a bit of fun too - see what you can find Most uni’s have a map online, or use google maps (i got totally lost the other day finding a new uni building which i hadn’t been to yet). Look at your timetable and see which places come up the most and try and find those places. People don’t mind pointing you in the right direction either :nah: Once you get into your face to face lectures/seminars you’ll be fine - they’ll probably even be a group chat if you’re not already in one for your course once you start chatting to people.
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