Boyfriend called another girl by a pet nickname

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User489494
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I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for the past two years. I’ve never been jealous of him hanging out with other girls but he recently started hanging out with a girl that seemed very flirty with every guy in the friend group and has special nicknames for every one of them. I expressed my concern with him and told him that I didn’t really liked how she has a nickname for him or that they hang out so much. The next day we were playing a card game and I overheard him calling her by a pet nickname. He later saw that I was frustrated and decided to joke about it with his friends and her. When we went home we talked about it but he didn’t really seem sorry and started bringing up past arguments were he was right in order to justify what he did. Eventually he said he was sorry but I’m still conflicted as to how I should react since he has never called any other girl or guy a pet nickname or term of endearment before. What should I do?
Last edited by User489494; 1 week ago
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twinklelittlstar
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hi. for some reason I can't see ur explanatory post. every relationship is different. if u feel uncomfortable with him calling another girl by a pet nickname, talk to him about it. something like 'I feel uncomfortable when u call this person x. can we talk about it?'. if there's a lack of trust, address it. do u have any reason to doubt him? do u believe he's developed a crush for this other chick? talk. hopefully he'll be honest and neither of u will be losing ur time.
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User489494
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(Original post by twinklelittlstar)
hi. for some reason I can't see ur explanatory post. every relationship is different. if u feel uncomfortable with him calling another girl by a pet nickname, talk to him about it. something like 'I feel uncomfortable when u call this person x. can we talk about it?'. if there's a lack of trust, address it. do u have any reason to doubt him? do u believe he's developed a crush for this other chick? talk. hopefully he'll be honest and neither of u will be losing ur time.
Hi. Thanks for your advice. I don’t think he’s developed a crush or anything he never gave me any reason to doubt his loyalty and he’s very honest. It’s just the way he handled the situation after calling her that nickname that bothered me. He made me feel like what I was saying wasn’t true or not that big of a deal. We talked about it and he’s apologized a few times since but we were having some other problems as well and I felt like he was kind of taking me for granted and not really appreciating how much I cared for him. Thats why I decided to take a few weeks apart since i can see he’s not as excited when we talk or hang out.
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1582
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It sounds more like he is responding to her tendancy to do it. People often end up mirroring the speech patterns of the person they're speaking to without even realising it.

As a side note, I call a number of my friends by pet names. It's just a habit and doesn't mean anything. They all know I've a partner whom I'm very happy with.
Last edited by 1582; 1 week ago
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twinklelittlstar
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(Original post by User489494)
I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for the past two years. I’ve never been jealous of him hanging out with other girls but he recently started hanging out with a girl that seemed very flirty with every guy in the friend group and has special nicknames for every one of them. I expressed my concern with him and told him that I didn’t really liked how she has a nickname for him or that they hang out so much. The next day we were playing a card game and I overheard him calling her by a pet nickname. He later saw that I was frustrated and decided to joke about it with his friends and her. When we went home we talked about it but he didn’t really seem sorry and started bringing up past arguments were he was right in order to justify what he did. Eventually he said he was sorry but I’m still conflicted as to how I should react since he has never called any other girl or guy a pet nickname or term of endearment before. What should I do?
okay, I see. it’s not the pet name thing as much as his reaction to u telling him it bothered u. it wasn’t right of him to joke about it to his friends, it’s disrespectful, especially if u told him in confidence because it hurt you. if you’re unsure about the relationship, it’s good that you’re taking some time apart to reconsider it. tc
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