I'm scared to make new female friends because of my girlfriend

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Anonymous #1
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I've been going out with my girlfriend for almost a year now and recently I've made a friend at work since we'd always be paired together for an evening shift. I got her number and she'll message me whilst were both at work and maybe a day after the shift and that's it, it's strictly platonic and the friend knows about my girlfriend since I bring her up when we're talking about upcoming plans and I'll have something planned to do with my girlfriend. The thing is, only a month ago I had a friend I messaged that my girlfriend already knew about and I messaged this friend asking how she was since it's been so long and my girlfriend found out when she was scrolling around on my Snapchat (we let each other use our phones and trust each other) and she saw it as cheating that I didn't tell her I messaged my friend behind her back. Now I'm scared to tell her about this new friend at work but at the same time, don't want to hide it. Any advice?
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Htx_x346
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Just tell her. I don't know why but I get a weird feeling about your girlfriend...she seems a little controlling.
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anosmianAcrimony
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It's definitely not cheating to have friends of the opposite gender. You shouldn't have to limit your social circle or report to her about the friends you make or interact with. That said I would take an active approach to this - don't hide anything from her - tell her that you will be interacting with female friends, and if she gets upset/worried/angry, talk with her about it as calmly as possible.

At the end of the day, if she wants to be in a relationship with you, she has to be prepared to trust you this far. If there's no trust, what's the point?
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CaptainDuckie
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It’s not her being controlling, it’s the boundaries in the relationship you’ve both set.

If you both have access to each other’s snapchat, what it just seems like (you can deny it as much as you want) is that you don’t actually trust each other.
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1582
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Does your girlfriend ever ask about how your day at work was? If so, that's an organic way to bring it up. Don't hide it because that's when it'll become suspicious.
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anosmianAcrimony
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
It’s not her being controlling, it’s the boundaries in the relationship you’ve both set.

If you both have access to each other’s snapchat, what it just seems like (you can deny it as much as you want) is that you don’t actually trust each other.
Is it though? At what point did OP agree that he wouldn't keep in touch with any female friends?
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by anosmianAcrimony)
Is it though? At what point did OP agree that he wouldn't keep in touch with any female friends?
(Original post by Anonymous)
(we let each other use our phones and trust each other)

I was referring to the boundary of having access to each other’s snapchat.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've been going out with my girlfriend for almost a year now and recently I've made a friend at work since we'd always be paired together for an evening shift. I got her number and she'll message me whilst were both at work and maybe a day after the shift and that's it, it's strictly platonic and the friend knows about my girlfriend since I bring her up when we're talking about upcoming plans and I'll have something planned to do with my girlfriend. The thing is, only a month ago I had a friend I messaged that my girlfriend already knew about and I messaged this friend asking how she was since it's been so long and my girlfriend found out when she was scrolling around on my Snapchat (we let each other use our phones and trust each other) and she saw it as cheating that I didn't tell her I messaged my friend behind her back. Now I'm scared to tell her about this new friend at work but at the same time, don't want to hide it. Any advice?
Does you father have a girl bestfriend? Does your mother have a boy bestfriend? We can get into the psychological aspect of why being “friends” with the opposite gender is a huge problem.
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