what do you say to a friend who’s refusing to go to uni all?

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 days ago
#1
she keeps saying because of her mental health. but she's also not being ambitious or looking forward to treat her self yk. She's way way too negative about everything. I'm seriously so worried about her. she's not even considering taking a gap year. she's just giving up on going to uni at all. I tried to talk to her about it but she's way too stubborn. she's literally giving up because of her fears and anxiety problems.
0
reply
Admit-One
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#2
Report 2 days ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
she keeps saying because of her mental health. but she's also not being ambitious or looking forward to treat her self yk. She's way way too negative about everything. I'm seriously so worried about her. she's not even considering taking a gap year. she's just giving up on going to uni at all. I tried to talk to her about it but she's way too stubborn. she's literally giving up because of her fears and anxiety problems.
What is she doing to address her mental health?
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#3
Report 2 days ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
she keeps saying because of her mental health. but she's also not being ambitious or looking forward to treat her self yk. She's way way too negative about everything. I'm seriously so worried about her. she's not even considering taking a gap year. she's just giving up on going to uni at all. I tried to talk to her about it but she's way too stubborn. she's literally giving up because of her fears and anxiety problems.
It's upto to her. You are worried about her because she doesn't want to go university, what are you worried about lmao? I'm confused. It's her choice
1
reply
Reality Check
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#4
Report 2 days ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
but she's also not being ambitious or looking forward to treat her self yk. She's way way too negative about everything. ...she's literally giving up because of her fears and anxiety problems.
You sound over-involved in your friend's life. If you've encouraged her to speak about how she feels, and she is resolute in her wishes, then you need to respect her choices and not act like an overbearing mum. It doesn't make her choices invalid or problematic just because they aren't choices you'd make personally.
1
reply
o_reo
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#5
Report 2 days ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
she keeps saying because of her mental health. but she's also not being ambitious or looking forward to treat her self yk. She's way way too negative about everything. I'm seriously so worried about her. she's not even considering taking a gap year. she's just giving up on going to uni at all. I tried to talk to her about it but she's way too stubborn. she's literally giving up because of her fears and anxiety problems.
if she doesnt want to go she doesnt have to. Going to university could make her mental health worse especially if its something she doesnt want to do.
There are many alternatives to university.
3
reply
vnesswa
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#6
Report 2 days ago
#6
it's her choice, leave her be lol
3
reply
Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 2 days ago
#7
(Original post by Admit-One)
What is she doing to address her mental health?
nothing. she thinks setting at home for the rest of her life will help her.
0
reply
-Eirlys-
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#8
Report 2 days ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
she keeps saying because of her mental health. but she's also not being ambitious or looking forward to treat her self yk. She's way way too negative about everything. I'm seriously so worried about her. she's not even considering taking a gap year. she's just giving up on going to uni at all. I tried to talk to her about it but she's way too stubborn. she's literally giving up because of her fears and anxiety problems.
I can understand why you're worried but it's your friend's life, not yours. If she's made the decision not to continue because of her mental health, you should support her decision. Uni is incredibly stressful and can take a toll on the mental health of students who don't already have mental health problems. It's not an easy ride. She can go to university whenever she wants to, it doesn't have to be right now.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#9
Report Thread starter 2 days ago
#9
(Original post by -Eirlys-)
I can understand why you're worried but it's your friend's life, not yours. If she's made the decision not to continue because of her mental health, you should support her decision. Uni is incredibly stressful and can take a toll on the mental health of students who don't already have mental health problems. It's not an easy ride. She can go to university whenever she wants to, it doesn't have to be right now.
okay I agree. thank you all for your help. I couldn't help myself but to freak out tbh.
0
reply
Caz1234567
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#10
Report 2 days ago
#10
What's wrong with not going to uni?
1
reply
Chronoscope
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#11
Report 2 days ago
#11
Not everyone wants/needs to go to uni. It isn't the end all be all :nah:
1
reply
Anonymous #3
#12
Report 2 days ago
#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
nothing. she thinks setting at home for the rest of her life will help her.
So she wants to get a job or apprenticeship and live with a boyfriend? If that's what she wants.. sure
0
reply
summerbirdreads
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#13
Report 2 days ago
#13
If she doesn't want to go to uni, then not going is the right thing for her
0
reply
1582
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#14
Report 2 days ago
#14
Encourage her to speak to her GP about her mental health, and also to approach her tutor/course leader/etc about formally taking some time out from her studies on medical leave. She might feel better about pursuing her education a year from now.
1
reply
xxx0xxxo
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#15
Report 2 days ago
#15
You say you're concerned about her MH yet acting like she's being lazy and planning to stay at home for rest of her life. You might have to accept that ur on different journeys now, yours is to uni, hers is something else right now. She could change her mind and enrol next year, or year after. Encourge her to seek support and speak to a careers advisor and avoid telling her she's 'giving up' on her life, as this is probably hard enough for her as it is. You could tell her this is just a period of healing then she can make plans again. It's impossible to do if you're at rock bottom, btw.
0
reply
Admit-One
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#16
Report 2 days ago
#16
(Original post by Anonymous)
nothing. she thinks setting at home for the rest of her life will help her.
Then I think your focus on helping your friend should be her mental health. As others have said, going to uni or not is her personal choice, and it would not be a good time to do so if she is not in the best place mentally to invest 3-4 years in study.

It can be difficult, but I would encourage you to talk to her about your concerns about her health. If you have any experiences that are similar, sharing those may help. Just telling her to see her GP will likely meet with resistance, so better just to talk about how you are both feeling and hopefully eventually she will realise that is the best course of action.
0
reply
Moonlight Rain
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#17
Report 2 days ago
#17
You're more concerned about the fact she didn't go uni than her mental health. Where do people find these friends
3
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How are you feeling now you've started university?

I'm loving it! (51)
13.9%
I'm enjoying it but I'm still settling in (94)
25.61%
I'm a bit unsure (63)
17.17%
I'm finding things difficult (127)
34.6%
Something else (let us know in the thread!) (32)
8.72%

Watched Threads

View All