Transphobic ?

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Miaj_27272
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is it wrong for me to not want to date a trans man? I have a friend that is trans so I fully support her Aswell as the LGBTQ Community. I just don’t think I would like to date a trans man and wouldn’t be comfortable? But for example , say if I had kids in the future and they said they wanted to be trans I’d be more than happy for them and support them fully as well as love them for who they are.

I just don’t want to seem like a bad person for saying I wouldn’t want to date a trans man and I just don’t know If that’s considered “transphobic”. I’m truly Sorry if I offended anyone in any way x
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Cancelled Alice
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That depends on whether you ask a reasonable person who has respect for people’s sexualities or if you ask an unreasonable person who doesn’t understand (or perhaps doesn’t care about) consent, coercion, sexuality and believes that sex is the ultimate display of respect.

Many transgender people would fall into the reasonable category, however there is unfortunately an extremely noisy, unpleasant and powerful minority of people who claim otherwise. The people I am talking about aren’t necessarily trans, in fact a good portion of them aren’t. It’s the most socially permissible form of homophobia (and phobia against sexuality in general) that there is, the bigots had to surface somewhere.
Last edited by Cancelled Alice; 1 week ago
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xxx0xxxo
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No it's not transphobic.
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Foxehh
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Not unless you're constantly flailing your arms screaming about how you wouldnt. A very very small part of the population is trans and an even smaller part is trans men, there is a low chance you'd ever find yourself in a situation that you'd have to consider it...
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Cancelled Alice
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This thread fascinates me.
In the past we have had similar threads, that essentially asks the same question about trans women. Inevitably they have descended into absolute **** shows that go on for pages. People who hold the unreasonable beliefs that I describe in my post above came out in their droves, however on this thread about transgender men few users have commented and the ones that have have expressed ideas that are (relatively) sensible.
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londonmyst
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No.
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hungrysalamander
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No
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theveganbookworm
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I mean realistically I don't think it's something you even need to consider unless you were in the situation where you were attracted to a trans guy (and if that happens one day, you can figure it out then). Obvs people can have types, I would only see it as a problem if you go around shouting about it, which would just end up create an anti-trans atmosphere. But also I think it's likely that if you actually ended up in the situation where you were attracted to a trans guy one day, the fact that they're trans probably wouldn't even bother you if you actually like them

^^From the pov of a cis(ish) person who's part of the lgbtq+ community
Last edited by theveganbookworm; 1 week ago
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chocobi
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(Original post by Miaj_27272)
I have a friend that is trans so I fully support her Aswell as the LGBTQ Community.
Yeah because you just referred to him as "her" which shows you still haven't accepted your friend as a man
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theveganbookworm
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(Original post by chocobi)
Yeah because you just referred to him as "her" which shows you still haven't accepted your friend as a man
I would assume that their friend is a trans woman lol
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Cancelled Alice
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(Original post by chocobi)
Yeah because you just referred to him as "her" which shows you still haven't accepted your friend as a man
Pronouns don’t equal gender tut tut, don’t make assumptions.

I guess that OP is talking about a hypothetical trans man and isn’t being pressured into having sex with someone they aren’t attracted to. They haven’t specified what kind of transgender person their friend is.
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chocobi
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(Original post by Cancelled Alice)
Pronouns don’t equal gender tut tut, don’t make assumptions.

I guess that OP is talking about a hypothetical trans man and isn’t being pressured into having sex with someone they aren’t attracted to. They haven’t specified what kind of transgender person their friend is.
Not reading a reply with a comma splice
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Cancelled Alice
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(Original post by chocobi)
Not reading a reply with a comma splice
How did you realise that my post had a comma splice in it if you haven’t read it ?
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Napp
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Its sad how often this question comes up.. of course its not wrong to not want to date someone of the same sex as you. Whether they identify as a male, female or a coconut makes no difference. Nevermind the implications on long term relationships in terms of having children etc.

Suffice it to say, no, it isnt 'transphobic' despite what some of the stupider types of people like to portray
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64Lightbulbs
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It's just a preference, like sex is a big part of relationship compatibility. Trans people's feelings really aren't hurt by either, generally. The only time it's really a problem is when it's based on the femininity associated with trans masculine people and the masculinity associated with trans feminine people through stereotypes and whatnot, or the way trans people's bodies are stereotyped as inherently wrong/gross/unattractive.

it's maybe something you want to think about, is all. If a trans man passed extremely well, and you wouldn't know he was trans at any point unless he told you, and you still wouldn't date him (ex. cause you don't think trans men can have proper facial hair or something, and you like guys with beards), then it might be worth considering why you think that, or if it's true.

there's better examples out there, i just can't think of any right now.
Last edited by 64Lightbulbs; 1 week ago
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Satori Tendō
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This post reminds me of that one girl on tiktok who claimed if you wanna lose weight and dislike being heavy, you're fatphobic lol

Anything makes someone a phobic these days. I'm sure there is at least a few people out there who would accuse you of being transphobic for your preference. You can't please 100% of people, it depends on individual opinion.

If our opinions count, I'd say you're not.
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chocobi
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(Original post by Cancelled Alice)
How did you realise that my post had a comma splice in it if you haven’t read it ?
Because I read the first sentence then didn't bother with the rest.
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Cancelled Alice
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(Original post by chocobi)
Because I read the first sentence then didn't bother with the rest.
Thanks for bothering to apply.
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_gcx
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The only time where people should reasonably take issue with it is if your response misgenders them eg. "I don't date women" and such like
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Little pecker
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It does

It’s just a form that’s accepted because it has a direct impact on you.
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