Is it worth telling him how I feel?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
So I am in need of advice as I have felt very low about this boy that I briefly dated. We met on tinder and after a few weeks of talking online we met up and slept together. At this point when I met him I wasn't looking for anything specific including a relationship and was very open to casual fun but I have practically fell in love on first sight. I was not expecting for a guy that I met on my tinder to be exactly my type in every way possible and the way he made me feel when I was him was not something I have felt in a very long time.

After we met to my surprise he continued to text me everyday all day. I guess because I have met a lot of guys from tinder I just kind of expect for them to forget about me after we hook up. This made whatever feelings I had for him already, grow stronger, especially because we were talking all the time. He also came to see me again, and it was just as good and we spent most of the time just chilling together, cuddling and watching tv.
I then moved to university which is two hours away from where I live usually. This guy said he would come and see me despite the distance but when the time did come for him see me he only realized then how far I actually was. He almost did not come as he was worried he would not be able to afford it as fuel in the UK is very expensive and as well he does not have very much money. He then did end up coming when I told him I would not be at home for a little while because I needed to settle into uni. He stayed for 24 hours with me and it was really nice spending time with him, and I thought it went okay.
Anyway he did text me when got home and we continued to text from there but then he left me on read which was very unlike him as he would always try to continue the conversation before. I did not think much of it as we have been constantly texting for a month anyway, so I texted him a few days later and we had a little conversation but he then me on read again.
This has left me very hurt and as dramatic as this sounds I just have not been to function properly for the past week. I know this happens often when you meet a guy from tinder and usually I don't care that much, but this time I have caught actual feelings and I don't know what to do about it. Even if this was entirely casual to him it did not feel that like as he talked to me in a way that sounded like he preferred relationships, unlike most of the guys I talked to from tinder. He would talk to me about his problems and was just very open/vulnerable to me.
So basically I am thinking about messaging him one more time in a few weeks as it seems that he is not very keen on talking to me right now. I want to basically tell him I like him as something more than casual to see if he could possibly ever see me in that way. I just want to know if this is a completely bad idea as he has basically ghosted me. I feel that maybe because of the distance and because we were only in the early stages of dating that this may have played a part into him not messaging me in this past week, so i just also to make sure it is not because of that.
And finally I also would like an opinion as to whether you think he knows that I like him as more than something casual or not given the nature of how we met and the fact we slept together on our first date. I just want to know if telling a guy that you hooked up with that you actually like him might make him reconsider things with you or if you have any of these kind of experiences.
I am sorry for this long passage but I guess I am just tired of things not working out with guys I see and I know I am not going to meet a guy that I like like this in a long time.
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jasmine.1990
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#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
I'd say don't message him. If he cares enough he will message you and try to come and see you. In the meantime while he's making zero effort you are free to do whatever you want. If you meet someone you like better in the meantime, then his fault for not acting faster
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Anonymous #2
#3
Report 1 month ago
#3
i wouldn’t tell him that you’ve caught feelings as that may scare him away. But i would ask him if he wants to continue things / see each other more, as you have enjoyed your time together thus far. Don’t go too heavy because he may feel trapped. Send him a meme or a youtube video and start a convo saying does he wanna meet up again? good luck!
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Surnia
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#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
Stop messaging, pick up the phone and have a proper conversation about what is going on and how you both view the situation.

The problem is you haven't dated so you haven't got to know this guy properly, eg you know he's got issues but you don't know his intentions towards you?

You are still young, but sound a bit immature when you say things never wirk out with guys, so don't rush into sex and work on the communication.
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