Meeting girls in London (as an older guy) - need advice!

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salacea9182
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#1
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#1
I'm a part-time postgrad student in London (early 30s) but I've been single my entire life.

I'm really trying to change that - but it's hard. I'm quiet, especially in large groups. I don't have too many friends either (I wouldn't describe myself as a loner, but I am definitely very introverted), which means going places alone and I hate it.

I'm into girls younger than me, say early twenties, which I don't think is weird per se, but I do feel inappropriate trying to talk to younger girls (almost scared of coming across as a creep). Is this justified? I know some girls are into older guys...but where is a good place to meet them?

For example, I have tried to join society events at my uni. I'd like to go out to bars/nightclubs more, but again going alone is no fun.

I feel like I need a wing-girl to help me out here. Someone who can accompany places so I don't have to go alone, and also just help me become more confident in myself and around girls.

On the plus side, I'm successful careerwise and would consider a platonic sugar baby type thing.

Any advice? I haven't posted anonymously so feel free to dm
Last edited by salacea9182; 1 month ago
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jasmine.1990
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#2
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I don't live I London, or I'd be happy to help. I think you need to not go for girls in their early 20s tho , coz they are going to be less likely to be understanding, and more likely to take the Mick of you with their mates. Also it comes off a little bit creepy
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Napp
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#3
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#3
A 'sugar baby' thing? You know those arent really a relationship theyre more closer to prostitution than anything else. Being attracted to young women might not be weird but looking to buy company instead of find a real gf is a bit..
Anyway, go meet people in the uni bars/clubs or just use one of the apps. They work well enough for everyone else after all
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DeanB27943
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#4
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(Original post by salacea9182)
I'm a part-time postgrad student in London (early 30s) but I've been single my entire life.

I'm really trying to change that - but it's hard. I'm quiet, especially in large groups. I don't have too many friends either (I wouldn't describe myself as a loner, but I am definitely very introverted), which means going places alone and I hate it.

I'm into girls younger than me, say early twenties, which I don't think is weird per se, but I do feel inappropriate trying to talk to younger girls (almost scared of coming across as a creep). Is this justified? I know some girls are into older guys...but where is a good place to meet them?

For example, I have tried to join society events at my uni. I'd like to go out to bars/nightclubs more, but again going alone is no fun.

I feel like I need a wing-girl to help me out here. Someone who can accompany places so I don't have to go alone, and also just help me become more confident in myself and around girls.

On the plus side, I'm successful careerwise and would consider a platonic sugar baby type thing.

Any advice? I haven't posted anonymously so feel free to dm
The reason you may feel attracted to younger girls is simply because that is where your mentality is at when it comes to dating. You're dating side hasnt matured becuase you haven't touched on it. Firstly, shoot for girls in their MID 20's minimum. You said it yourself, you're getting older so look for the ones with a healthier and more relatable mindset when it comes to dating. Younger girls, and trust me when i say this, are not desireable for girlfriends. If you want to just f around then download tinder or something.

Where to meet girls? not at a club thats for sure... Mutual friends, your circles, join a club/society or simply at the gym.. whereever your hobbies are, thats where to meet them. If you're a no life shut in then my advice to you is to make friends before you even try to date. Having a female friends around will subconsciously have more women interested in you.
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Dunnig Kruger
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#5
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#5
Your thinking on this indicates that you are floundering and lack knowlege in how to get and keep a girlfriend.

Your are a late developer. That's OK. Better to start now than later.

It's not so much where to go to meet women and who to go with. It's more a case of how you introduce yourself, what you are as a person, what you say and how you say it. Understanding what's attractive to women and what isn't.

The where bit is easy. You introduce yourself to women anywhere and everywhere. And at any time and all the time.
You can also join some dating websites where you don't have a bland profile. You have professional looking pics and text that markets you to your target audience whilst alienating your non target audience.

Being quiet is ok. Being generous with conversation space is fine. However if it's combined with you staying inside your head almost all the time, where you are focused on your thoughts and feelings and not on others, then that's a bad combination. You're a clever mature guy, You can work things out. You know when somethings not right and you need to do something about it. So change. Stop being so quiet and introverted. Become curious and focused on other people.

Learn about the lover vs provider frame. Look to put yourself in the lover frame and not the provider frame.

Make no apologies about your age. You are in the prime of your life. In the Ian Fleming books, James Bond was in his 30's. In the films there's been age inflation. So he's now in his 50's.

It's also ridiculous saying you're into girls in their early 20's - when you've never been with one. Go ahead and try a few women and see how you get on. Keep an open mind.
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Anonymous #1
#6
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#6
I’d say Broaden your search brother. If your looking for a one night stand. Girls in uni are **** in bed. (From my experience) they don’t know what they’re doing.

But cuz your in your 30s expand it to all of 20, from 21-29. Girls in their late 20s have been the best s3x I’ve ever had.
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