How can I make important decisions?

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ashtolga23
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#1
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#1
Really struggling and the usual pros and cons lists aren't working.

Right now I have a few main things to decide: do I want to stay at uni, do I want to get maintenance loans, and do I want to leave my accommodation to stay with my boyfriend instead? There are so many pros and cons for each that I don't want to bore you, but I can elaborate if anyone wishes. I just feel completely paralysed, and the university has me in a bit of a chokehold with the early termination clause (40% of the accommodation fees plus rent for however many weeks you've been there, so currently that's just under £3k but if I wait until December it goes up to nearly £4k).

I feel very stressed, very financially unsafe, and very stuck. Any advice would be appreciated because I don't think I have a gut feeling on these things so the usual strategies (e.g. flip a coin and base the decision on how you feel about the result) aren't really working.
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Anonymous #1
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
Honestly I understand I'm in a very similar spot as well. The pros and cons list doesn't work for me either but recently I had to make a very important decision so I decided to give it a second chance. What I tried to do is write down literally everything that would come in mind, even if it seems stupid, trust me details make the difference! Also I recommend having the list on your phone so you have access to it whenever. After doing that, I sorted my pros and cons from the most important to the least important (for me). By doing this you'll see that even if one of your options has more cons than pros, the pros may be more important for you.
I know this may not be that helpful considering you said lists don't work for you, but I used to be exactly like that, I still am and I hate making decisions, but that one time I had to, the list made everything seem much more clear. I still struggled to decide, I'm not going to lie to you but looking back now I think I did what's best for me!

Also remember, there's no thing such as a good or a bad decision

Feel free to elaborate on your pros and cons list if you think that will make you feel better!
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ashtolga23
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#3
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
Honestly I understand I'm in a very similar spot as well. The pros and cons list doesn't work for me either but recently I had to make a very important decision so I decided to give it a second chance. What I tried to do is write down literally everything that would come in mind, even if it seems stupid, trust me details make the difference! Also I recommend having the list on your phone so you have access to it whenever. After doing that, I sorted my pros and cons from the most important to the least important (for me). By doing this you'll see that even if one of your options has more cons than pros, the pros may be more important for you.
I know this may not be that helpful considering you said lists don't work for you, but I used to be exactly like that, I still am and I hate making decisions, but that one time I had to, the list made everything seem much more clear. I still struggled to decide, I'm not going to lie to you but looking back now I think I did what's best for me!

Also remember, there's no thing such as a good or a bad decision

Feel free to elaborate on your pros and cons list if you think that will make you feel better!
Thank you so much for this. I think the detail might be good. I really appreciate it and hope you're doing well.
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