Parent passed away from covid. Inheritance money reckless

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Jennifer303
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#1
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#1
Okay so my dad who was my best friend passed away last year from covid. And couple months later we got his retirement money in which I got £50k.

I gave £27k to my mum to keep for me.
So that leaves me with £23k.
I spent a lot on bs which I regret. I treated myself a lot as I was obviously not in right frame of mind.

Btw the £27k I gave to my mum. Will be for a mortgage when I’m older (I’m 21 right now in my first year of my degree) . Then my mum said she’ll buy me a 14k car when I pass with some of her money.

I now have £2.5k left and I’ve kept it aside.
Am I a fool. I feel so bad and guilty I keep thinking about my dad worked for his money and I spent it so recklessly.

If you’ve ever had inheritance money how have you spent it?
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Reality Check
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#2
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#2
(Original post by Jennifer303)
Okay so my dad who was my best friend passed away last year from covid. And couple months later we got his retirement money in which I got £50k.

I gave £27k to my mum to keep for me.
So that leaves me with £23k.
I spent a lot on bs which I regret. I treated myself a lot as I was obviously not in right frame of mind.

Btw the £27k I gave to my mum. Will be for a mortgage when I’m older (I’m 21 right now in my first year of my degree) . Then my mum said she’ll buy me a 14k car when I pass with some of her money.

I now have £2.5k left and I’ve kept it aside.
Am I a fool. I feel so bad and guilty I keep thinking about my dad worked for his money and I spent it so recklessly.

If you’ve ever had inheritance money how have you spent it?
Well it sounds like you've frittered it away a bit, but what's done is done. You can't get it back now.
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username5819152
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#3
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#3
My dad passed he didn’t have a retirement but he did have life insurance. I got 20k from him I put that in a bank and I’m not touching it until I really need it because I have 15k of my own money saved. Save the money you have left any bit counts.. what did you spend almost 20k if you don’t mind me asking
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StriderHort
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#4
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#4
As someone who also lost a parent last year... yeah I'm sorry but this sounds foolish and borderline shameful, for the exact reason you describe. Your dad had to work a long time for that money and would likely want his family to use it productively rather than blow it on junk with little thought. I can totally see how a few thousand might be frittered in grief/loss, but 20k+ is nuts, esp as there has been so little to actually DO.

I'll be getting mine when a house sells in a few weeks and I'll be putting it right back into buying a home. It means I can divert more of my OWN earnings to buying toys, but I know my mum wouldn't have wanted me blowing HER money on gadgets, cars, treats etc
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moonkatt
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#5
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#5
You've not spent all of it, you've put half aside. It's your money to use as you please, it's been spent now so there's not much you can do about it. Yes, the way you spent it may have been foolish, but we live and learn. You've still got half put to one side, make sure its in a good savings account so that it accrues some interest and you've got a bit of cash there for when you want to think about buying your first home.
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mnot
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#6
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#6
(Original post by Jennifer303)
Okay so my dad who was my best friend passed away last year from covid. And couple months later we got his retirement money in which I got £50k.

I gave £27k to my mum to keep for me.
So that leaves me with £23k.
I spent a lot on bs which I regret. I treated myself a lot as I was obviously not in right frame of mind.

Btw the £27k I gave to my mum. Will be for a mortgage when I’m older (I’m 21 right now in my first year of my degree) . Then my mum said she’ll buy me a 14k car when I pass with some of her money.

I now have £2.5k left and I’ve kept it aside.
Am I a fool. I feel so bad and guilty I keep thinking about my dad worked for his money and I spent it so recklessly.

If you’ve ever had inheritance money how have you spent it?
Perhaps the far more important thing is the lesson you have learned from this.

At 21 most people arent well drilled on personal finances, and in the background to losing a loved one at a time when were effectively in a state of global chaos is understandable.

The value of what you can learn from this about how you wish to manage your money is far more valuable then what you have spent, and perhaps the way you manage your income, savings and spending habits as a result of this experience can be the legacy of your fathers inheritance.
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PhoenixFortune
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#7
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#7
(Original post by Jennifer303)
Okay so my dad who was my best friend passed away last year from covid. And couple months later we got his retirement money in which I got £50k.

I gave £27k to my mum to keep for me.
So that leaves me with £23k.
I spent a lot on bs which I regret. I treated myself a lot as I was obviously not in right frame of mind.

Btw the £27k I gave to my mum. Will be for a mortgage when I’m older (I’m 21 right now in my first year of my degree) . Then my mum said she’ll buy me a 14k car when I pass with some of her money.

I now have £2.5k left and I’ve kept it aside.
Am I a fool. I feel so bad and guilty I keep thinking about my dad worked for his money and I spent it so recklessly.

If you’ve ever had inheritance money how have you spent it?
I'm really curious what you spent the £20k on.

A friend of mine inherited about £11k from her grandmother, and she used most of it to travel around the world (which is something she'd always wanted to do). She regrets it now because she would have loved the money for a flat deposit. It really does depend on your priorities at the time.
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janijay
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#8
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#8
Don't worry too much. What's done is done. You're young and you will make mistakes. Try and sell some of the things you bought (and don't need) if you can. Now just focus on your degree and do well and get a good job.
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Jennifer303
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#9
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#9
(Original post by Amadoo)
My dad passed he didn’t have a retirement but he did have life insurance. I got 20k from him I put that in a bank and I’m not touching it until I really need it because I have 15k of my own money saved. Save the money you have left any bit counts.. what did you spend almost 20k if you don’t mind me asking
Well done for being able to not touch it. How old are you? How long did it take to save 15k.

Well I actually don’t know much what I spent it on.
I purchased 2 designer bags
A couple designer shoes
I did laser hair removal which is about 3k because I was very insecure about hair
I paid 1.4k to get my teeth done.
That’s the only big sums of money I can think of. I did also go on holiday too.

Do you think I could possibly make the money and put it back in my savings and act like I didn’t touch it lool. Or it won’t feel the same?
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Jennifer303
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#10
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#10
(Original post by PhoenixFortune)
I'm really curious what you spent the £20k on.

A friend of mine inherited about £11k from her grandmother, and she used most of it to travel around the world (which is something she'd always wanted to do). She regrets it now because she would have loved the money for a flat deposit. It really does depend on your priorities at the time.
Do you think I could possibly make the money and put it back in my savings and act like I didn’t touch it lool. Or it won’t feel the same?
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SadiyaSquared
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#11
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#11
Never got the chance, my grandparents from my dads side were rich and I mean filthy rich yet when they both died we got absolutely nothing as one of my uncles swooped in and helped himself to the whole lot every though we were always told that it was going to be shared equally with the entire family as there was more than enough to go around (no will was written unfortunately. the thing about asians, they rarely go down the legal route and simply depend on being hopeful that their kids will do everything the right way!). Thats when I learned what money and greed does to people. Whilst it would have been nice I'm kinda glad we got nothing in the end.

But yeah if I did the inheritance I was supposed to have I would have gotten close to a couple of hundred k and I probably would have spent a little on myself, put much into getting a deposit on a house but saved the rest.
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username5819152
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#12
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#12
(Original post by Jennifer303)
Well done for being able to not touch it. How old are you? How long did it take to save 15k.

Well I actually don’t know much what I spent it on.
I purchased 2 designer bags
A couple designer shoes
I did laser hair removal which is about 3k because I was very insecure about hair
I paid 1.4k to get my teeth done.
That’s the only big sums of money I can think of. I did also go on holiday too.

Do you think I could possibly make the money and put it back in my savings and act like I didn’t touch it lool. Or it won’t feel the same?
Decently it’s never to late .. I work a lot keep 10%for me and spending then put the rest in the bank I’m 20 by the way. I have a car and I’m thinking about getting my own house soon
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Democracy
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#13
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#13
Don't buy a £14K car as your first car, there's really no need for it.
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PhoenixFortune
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#14
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#14
(Original post by Jennifer303)
Do you think I could possibly make the money and put it back in my savings and act like I didn’t touch it lool. Or it won’t feel the same?
Could you sell the designer stuff you bought? You won't get the retail price of course, but it might help to add a bit of money back in. You will probably earn money from working anyway, so it probably won't feel the same because you would know that you would have had both lots of money (the inheritance and the earnings) if you hadn't spent the former. There's no point storing the money for sentimental/symbolic reasons, but try to come up with a plan for investing it or spending it on things for your future perhaps.
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WhoElseButMe
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#15
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#15
(Original post by Jennifer303)
Okay so my dad who was my best friend passed away last year from covid. And couple months later we got his retirement money in which I got £50k.

I gave £27k to my mum to keep for me.
So that leaves me with £23k.
I spent a lot on bs which I regret. I treated myself a lot as I was obviously not in right frame of mind.

Btw the £27k I gave to my mum. Will be for a mortgage when I’m older (I’m 21 right now in my first year of my degree) . Then my mum said she’ll buy me a 14k car when I pass with some of her money.

I now have £2.5k left and I’ve kept it aside.
Am I a fool. I feel so bad and guilty I keep thinking about my dad worked for his money and I spent it so recklessly.

If you’ve ever had inheritance money how have you spent it?
First of all, I’m sorry for your loss.

Second of all, you can’t handle adult responsibilities like money. Spending £20.5k in one year is an immense waste of money. You should be going back and tracking where every penny of it went so you never repeat this mistake again.


£20.5k would’ve easily generated a £100 in monthly interest.

Also, don’t buy a car for £14k. I can see where you got your bad money sense from. Ignore mums advice, buy a cheap second hand Honda or Toyota and pay for insurance with the funds. You can do that for under £4,000.


DO NOT SPEND THE REST OF THE MONEY, save it.
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AndrewBlue
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#16
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#16
You dont understand the meaning of work. Go wash dishes in a restaurant. Or work as a chef if you can find a job. The indeed flex is easy to apply to and find jobs right away. Do this type of work for a couple dozen hours, you won't waste money again
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Jennifer303
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#17
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(Original post by AndrewBlue)
You dont understand the meaning of work. Go wash dishes in a restaurant. Or work as a chef if you can find a job. The indeed flex is easy to apply to and find jobs right away. Do this type of work for a couple dozen hours, you won't waste money again
It’s weird to assume I’ve never worked or know about work. I use to work my ass off in a resturant before loosing my dad. I haven’t worked since covid as I got put on furlough then received my inheritance. I’m also a student
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ebam_uk
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Jennifer303)
It’s weird to assume I’ve never worked or know about work. I use to work my ass off in a resturant before loosing my dad. I haven’t worked since covid as I got put on furlough then received my inheritance. I’m also a student
Why not invest it in a rental property or shares?
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StriderHort
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#19
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(Original post by ebam_uk)
Why not invest it in a rental property or shares?
Because they would probably lose more money unless they knew what they were doing which sounds v unlikely.
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ebam_uk
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#20
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(Original post by StriderHort)
Because they would probably lose more money unless they knew what they were doing which sounds v unlikely.
Cant go wrong with Tesla call options ( thank me later)!
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