Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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FY1 3 months into the job. I feel that my clinical skills (cannulas, ABG etc) are improving, but I feel my medical knowledge is deteriorating. When I'm doing ward cover on call I am terrified. Doesn't help that we're understaffed and there's been quite a few on calls where there's no SHO to ask for advice. I'm really worried that I am not developing the way I should.

In order to add more to my misery - I am a **** secretary. I find the job of FY1 extremely stressful. I stay late 80% of the time and by late I mean 1-3 hours late (as does the SHO and PA on my ward). And I really think I'm approaching burn out.

I am just coming off a 9 day annual leave and doing an on call this weekend and I'm really freaking out about it. I also just got my rota for my next block and it looks horrendous.

90% of people in my team are lovely and a pleasure to work with, so no issues with that, but I just feel that I'm a bit **** at what I do and bringing everyone down (including myself)

I tend to love my life outside of work, I just got engaged and my partner is the most supportive person ever. But I feel in the last month I haven't been myself and no longer find joy in things that bring me happiness. I feel that I've also gotten very lazy around the house making my partner pick up the slack.

It doesn't help that it seems like the NHS is falling apart and when I ask the reg's if they enjoy their job they tell me they hate it. Recently I've also come across a new consultant who said she hated being a reg but now would do anything to go back because being a consultant is so much worse. What is the point then?

The point of this post is really to just vent, I think I actively dislike medicine. I somehow still want to stay in it because I genuinely don't know what else I could do (clearly could never be a secretary). My long-term plan is a permanent move to Australia after F2 but I've heard getting into training there as an IMG is extremely difficult and my partner needs to live in a city for their job, so even that is stressing me out.

I know I'm not alone, but somehow everyone else seems to be coping better than me. (Also we've already had one fy1 drop out of the program and one fy1 deciding she's going to leave after this year - the one who's leaving I really wish I could be closer with but I think we would just point out how miserable we are)
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ecolier
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#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
FY1 3 months into the job. I feel that my clinical skills (cannulas, ABG etc) are improving, but I feel my medical knowledge is deteriorating. When I'm doing ward cover on call I am terrified. Doesn't help that we're understaffed and there's been quite a few on calls where there's no SHO to ask for advice. I'm really worried that I am not developing the way I should.

In order to add more to my misery - I am a **** secretary. I find the job of FY1 extremely stressful. I stay late 80% of the time and by late I mean 1-3 hours late (as does the SHO and PA on my ward). And I really think I'm approaching burn out.

I am just coming off a 9 day annual leave and doing an on call this weekend and I'm really freaking out about it. I also just got my rota for my next block and it looks horrendous.

90% of people in my team are lovely and a pleasure to work with, so no issues with that, but I just feel that I'm a bit **** at what I do and bringing everyone down (including myself)

I tend to love my life outside of work, I just got engaged and my partner is the most supportive person ever. But I feel in the last month I haven't been myself and no longer find joy in things that bring me happiness. I feel that I've also gotten very lazy around the house making my partner pick up the slack.

It doesn't help that it seems like the NHS is falling apart and when I ask the reg's if they enjoy their job they tell me they hate it. Recently I've also come across a new consultant who said she hated being a reg but now would do anything to go back because being a consultant is so much worse. What is the point then?

The point of this post is really to just vent, I think I actively dislike medicine. I somehow still want to stay in it because I genuinely don't know what else I could do (clearly could never be a secretary). My long-term plan is a permanent move to Australia after F2 but I've heard getting into training there as an IMG is extremely difficult and my partner needs to live in a city for their job, so even that is stressing me out.

I know I'm not alone, but somehow everyone else seems to be coping better than me. (Also we've already had one fy1 drop out of the program and one fy1 deciding she's going to leave after this year - the one who's leaving I really wish I could be closer with but I think we would just point out how miserable we are)
Sorry to hear, here are a few points:

- it's definitely not just you that's feeling it out there. We are not even half way (?) through Autumn so it will get worse (for the NHS, that is)

- if you are staying late most of the time, especially 1-3 hours (that is very significant) you must report it to someone - either verbally or through exceptional reporting. It is really important not just for you, but for future trainees who will be joining your rotation. It's not fair that you are essentially working 12.5 - 30% extra work.

- your mental health is above all else. If you are finding that it's tough to come to work, it is definitely time to raise the issue either with your supervisors or with Occupational Health

- in terms of what it's like when you are more senior... it depends on the specialty (you didn't mention which one) but I can definitely see that many acute medical specialty have really deteriorated in terms of workload and responsibility. Do you have any ideas what you want to do?

- working in Australia could be an option, but training in a competitive location / specialty could potentially be challenging. I would defer this to people who know more than me

- remember we are all in this together feel free to post here, PM, or use other forums (reddit r/juniordoctorsuk) to vent or talk about work. We are here to support you.
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#3
(Original post by ecolier)
Sorry to hear, here are a few points:

- it's definitely not just you that's feeling it out there. We are not even half way (?) through Autumn so it will get worse (for the NHS, that is)

- if you are staying late most of the time, especially 1-3 hours (that is very significant) you must report it to someone - either verbally or through exceptional reporting. It is really important not just for you, but for future trainees who will be joining your rotation. It's not fair that you are essentially working 12.5 - 30% extra work.

- your mental health is above all else. If you are finding that it's tough to come to work, it is definitely time to raise the issue either with your supervisors or with Occupational Health

- in terms of what it's like when you are more senior... it depends on the specialty (you didn't mention which one) but I can definitely see that many acute medical specialty have really deteriorated in terms of workload and responsibility. Do you have any ideas what you want to do?

- working in Australia could be an option, but training in a competitive location / specialty could potentially be challenging. I would defer this to people who know more than me

- remember we are all in this together feel free to post here, PM, or use other forums (reddit r/juniordoctorsuk) to vent or talk about work. We are here to support you.
Thanks for the reply. My next rotation is on amu so I'm terrified that it will just get worse and worse for me. I am exception reporting but my ES is kind of blaming me for staying late (as no one else on my ward exception reports). 2/3 consultants on my ward are really supportive but annoying in that they tell me "oh this doesn't have to get done today" but then get annoyed if it's not done by tomorrow mornings board round.
I'm a female and my lowest lows are always when I'm PMSing (I am at the moment) but I will keep w journal to try to gauge if my mood is always low or just dipping in and out of it.

The move to Australia is because my fiance is from there and my family are living in a country I never want to live in so it's not really for the job specifically. I definitely don't want to go into a super competitive speciality, right now I'm thinking between GP or psych. But I just have this crippling fear of responsibility that comes with being a doctor.

I try not to look too much at Reddit junior doctors thread because although it's nice to know you're not the only person going through it, it sometimes feels like it's an echochamber of doom and gloom which just makes me feel even sadder about the future...
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ecolier
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#4
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#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for the reply. My next rotation is on amu so I'm terrified that it will just get worse and worse for me.
But if anything you will be better support and will be working closely with more people?

I am exception reporting but my ES is kind of blaming me for staying late (as no one else on my ward exception reports).
In that case, do you know why other people aren't staying late?

2/3 consultants on my ward are really supportive but annoying in that they tell me "oh this doesn't have to get done today" but then get annoyed if it's not done by tomorrow mornings board round
It is annoying that people are going back on their word, again this is something you'll learn on the job - what to prioritise and what is not so important that you need to do straightaway.


I'm a female and my lowest lows are always when I'm PMSing (I am at the moment) but I will keep w journal to try to gauge if my mood is always low or just dipping in and out of it.
Sure, must be very difficult (I am not a female so I can't say I can understand how hard it must be).

The move to Australia is because my fiance is from there and my family are living in a country I never want to live in so it's not really for the job specifically. I definitely don't want to go into a super competitive speciality, right now I'm thinking between GP or psych. But I just have this crippling fear of responsibility that comes with being a doctor.
Perhaps, but remember you will be responsibilites in all professions. Being a banker, for example - millions of £s may rest on your shoulders, or if you're a lawyer - it's your client's freedom etc.

I try not to look too much at Reddit junior doctors thread because although it's nice to know you're not the only person going through it, it sometimes feels like it's an echochamber of doom and gloom which just makes me feel even sadder about the future...
Perhaps, but remember while it is not all doom and gloom, it's definitely not all sunshine and roses either.
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