The Student Room Group

'only if you give me spending money'

I want to know if it's wrong for me to still be upset with my brother.

I got married in Edinburgh a few years ago. My family is from down near London. For my wedding I invited my brother - offered to pay for accommodation, flights, food, and pretty much everything else.

He told me he would only go if I gave him "spending money".

I am still upset by this. I mean, he only has one sister, who will hopefully only get married once. He didn't have to work or other obligations.

Is it reasonable to still be upset?
He sounds selfish and entitled. I’d be upset too
Reply 2
Original post by Smeraldettoi
He sounds selfish and entitled. I’d be upset too

He has never even apologised or made any kind of move to connect with me. We used to be really close, I don't know what happened. :frown:
Original post by Anonymous
He has never even apologised or made any kind of move to connect with me. We used to be really close, I don't know what happened. :frown:

Sorry to hear this, sometimes people change for no reason and don’t want to have anything to do with certain people. Alternatively he could be having issues or you might have upset him in some way without realising? Maybe ask him
Reply 4
Original post by Smeraldettoi
Sorry to hear this, sometimes people change for no reason and don’t want to have anything to do with certain people. Alternatively he could be having issues or you might have upset him in some way without realising? Maybe ask him

My husband tells me my brother is a selfish prick and hates being around him. I don't think I upset him...I mean he could have just said he had to work or study or made an excuse but to say he wants money I just think that's ncredibly selfish. Sometimes I wonder whether i should've given him a couple of hundred pounds so I'd have my brother at my wedding. What do you think?
Original post by Anonymous
I want to know if it's wrong for me to still be upset with my brother.

I got married in Edinburgh a few years ago. My family is from down near London. For my wedding I invited my brother - offered to pay for accommodation, flights, food, and pretty much everything else.

He told me he would only go if I gave him "spending money".

I am still upset by this. I mean, he only has one sister, who will hopefully only get married once. He didn't have to work or other obligations.

Is it reasonable to still be upset?

That was a PoS move but you should forgive and forget.
Original post by Anonymous
My husband tells me my brother is a selfish prick and hates being around him. I don't think I upset him...I mean he could have just said he had to work or study or made an excuse but to say he wants money I just think that's ncredibly selfish. Sometimes I wonder whether i should've given him a couple of hundred pounds so I'd have my brother at my wedding. What do you think?

I’m inclined to agree with your husband. I would never ever pay somebody, family or otherwise, to attend my wedding, or any special event of mine. If someone isn’t interested in coming unless bribed then they won’t be there. There is no shame in this, as he refused the invitation basically
(edited 2 years ago)
Reply 7
Original post by Smeraldettoi
I’m inclined to agree with your husband. I would never ever pay somebody, family or otherwise, to attend my wedding, or any special event of mine. If someone isn’t interested in coming unless bribed then they won’t be there. There is no shame in this, as he refused the invitation basically

Yeah, I think you're right.

I should try not to be upset as he'd probably just be moody the whole time - or at least once the money runs out.

I just thought I meant more to him than that. :frown:
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah, I think you're right.

I should try not to be upset as he'd probably just be moody the whole time - or at least once the money runs out.

I just thought I meant more to him than that. :frown:

I’m sorry
Is there a possibility that he was jealous? I don't mean in a creepy incest kind of way but in a my sister is moving on with her life and I am not?

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