I have no friends ever since I started college

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I have no friends like why these people I go to school with don’t give with me if u know what I mean I’m always alone I have people to speak to in class just not out of class like wth
How do I make friends
Don’t say to go up to someone and say hi cause it’s not that easy ☹️
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
I have people to speak to in class just not out of class
this is a pointless reply, but same
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stubbed toes
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#3
Report 1 month ago
#3
I'm sorry you feel that way. As social creatures, longing for fulfilling relationships can be one of many exasperating aspects of the human condition.

In your predicament, it seems your classmates only interact with you during class, paying little to no attention to you afterwards due to the fact they have no incentive to. Give them a reason.

At this point, they only consider you a classmate, nothing more. The only way you can get out of this 'zone' is to put yourself out of your comfort zone. From what you've said, it seems as if you're socially withdrawn, only engaging in conversation once someone else initiates it or if there's a reason to, such as about schoolwork. Start going out of your way to talk to people, even if you don't want to. Try to make genuine conversation, take an active interest in the other person's life, try to find common ground or shared interests and create plans to hang out after class is over. However, remember not to appear too desperate, as it can be offputting. Authenticity is key.

What I've heard many people with social anxiety do is that they challenge themselves to uptake the '100 interaction challenge', in which they have a month to interact with 100 different people, with even a simple hello counting as one. One of my close friends decided to partake, and after a month I noticed a considerable difference in their entire demeanour. I would definitely reccomend this.

Also remember you don't need to make friends exclusively at your college. Widen your social circle by joining clubs or by going clubbing and see who you can befriend there. Don't limit yourself.



In terms of making friends, I have given the same advice to many people I know, of which the ones who implemented it all eventually made friends with resounding success. That advice being:

- Be socially active: Join clubs, religious groups, uptake a hobby and engage in the community, participate in charity events or whatnot, just ensure you are constantly interacting with people on a daily basis. Joining any sort of social event such as the ones I mentioned above are great ways to make friends, as shared interests and experiences create deep bonds.

- 'Fake it 'till you make it': Just act confident. People are drawn to confidence, and eventually, some of that confidence will manifest within yourself. Another way, as I mentioned before, is to partake in a hobby. Having something that you are good at has been scientifically proven to improve physical and mental health, while also improving your self-esteem.

- Self-care: Slightly tying into confidence, self-care is also quite an essential aspect of making friends, as the way you present yourself impacts the way people think about you. Work out, sleep at set times for enough time, drink plenty of water, eat healthily, practice routinely showering and perhaps skincare if necessary and dress well. I guarantee that once you start doing even some of these things, you will undoubtedly feel better, which will thus lead to a confidence boost and potentially friends. ( A good app for monitoring progress is Fabulous, if interested.)

- Presentation: Very similar to self-care, appearance and the way you present yourself are also crucial. Shower, dress well (and appropriately) and smile. The old saying 'Smile, it increases your face value', really is true, as research shows those who smile more frequently tend to lead better lives, especially in their work, relationships and health. Just pretending to genuinely smile for 30 seconds can boost your mood, as smiling releases an influx of endorphins.

- Humour: Another important characteristic is humour. Once you acquire a great sense of humour, there is no doubt you will make friends. People want to be around someone who can make them feel good, and jokes are a great way to achieve that.

Also, remember that making friends takes time, and I'm unsure of how long you've attended your college, to begin with. Not only that, but find the right people to befriend. Not everybody is good friend material, and there are some people who you would rather avoid.

In summary: meet and talk to as many people as possible, fake confidence till genuine, take up a hobby, practice self-care, attain a sense of humour, be authentic and most importantly, just try.

Best of luck.
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