Chatting to a girl

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
When I'm texting a friend of mine and I ask her a question, should I answer the question myself even though she didn't ask me?

So say I ask 'how's your day been?' and she answers, should I tell her how my days been even if she doesn't directly ask?

Sorry for the weird question but I don't have much experience messaging girls lol
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Anonymous #1
#2
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#2
I only ask because I want us to get to know each other better and don't really know how
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Ax Sleepy
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#3
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#3
It’s like texting any other person just do what u feel right ya narsayee
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strawberry bread
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#4
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#4
You’re so overthinking man, chill out and just say what comes naturally. Try not to think too deep into conversations you’ll drive yourself mad.
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Anonymous #1
#5
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(Original post by strawberry bread)
You’re so overthinking man, chill out and just say what comes naturally. Try not to think too deep into conversations you’ll drive yourself mad.
Ok i'll try this. Thankyou!
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Dunnig Kruger
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#6
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#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
I only ask because I want us to get to know each other better and don't really know how
Get to know her better by spending time with her in real life. Time during which you do interesting / fun / stimulating / satisfying / rewarding things from her point of view.

Use texting mainly for thanking her for the most recent date and for arranging the next meeting with her.
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Anonymous #1
#7
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Get to know her better by spending time with her in real life. Time during which you do interesting / fun / stimulating / satisfying / rewarding things from her point of view.

Use texting mainly for thanking her for the most recent date and for arranging the next meeting with her.
I would love to but I'm too nervous to ask her to go anywhere in case she says no and then its really awkward between us. I'm also quite a shy person so I think I prefer messaging - she's quite shy as well actually
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Dunnig Kruger
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
I would love to but I'm too nervous to ask her to go anywhere in case she says no and then its really awkward between us. I'm also quite a shy person so I think I prefer messaging - she's quite shy as well actually
As long as you ask in friendly positive way and you don't get butt hurt by whatever answer she gives you, then there is no way that any reasonable person would think less of you for asking her to spend an hour of her leisure time with you.

And she is not the only girl in the world. There are billions more. So it's not like there's a scarcity of girls, whereby if you muck up one chance you'll have no chance of dating anyone ever again.

There's an abundance of girls. If one turns you down you move onto the next.

There are no downsides to asking her to spend a bit of time with you. There are only upsides. When you ask her with the right mindset. Which is that you want to give her what she wants and that if she declines your offer, that's totally OK. At least you asked and did what you could to make her life a bit more fun and enjoyable.

Stop having the self image that you are shy. Have the self image that you are technically an extrovert - someone that takes more interest in other people than in yourself - and that you are generous with conversational space.

As a little tip aim to make your offer of a first date with her as much of a non-date date as you can. With it being as low pressure as you can.
Last edited by Dunnig Kruger; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
#9
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#9
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
As long as you ask in friendly positive way and you don't get butt hurt by whatever answer she gives you, then there is no way that any reasonable person would think less of you for asking her to spend an hour of her leisure time with you.

And she is not the only girl in the world. There are billions more. So it's not like there's a scarcity of girls, whereby if you muck up one chance you'll have no chance of dating anyone ever again.

There's an abundance of girls. If one turns you down you move onto the next.

There are no downsides to asking her to spend a bit of time with you. There are only upsides. When you ask her with the right mindset. Which is that you want to give her what she wants and that if she declines your offer, that's totally OK. At least you asked and did what you could to make her life a bit more fun and enjoyable.

Stop having the self image that you are shy. Have the self image that you are technically an extrovert - someone that takes more interest in other people than in yourself - and that you are generous with conversational space.

As a little tip aim to make your offer of a first date with her as much of a non-date date as you can. With it being as low pressure as you can.
This is brilliant advice, I can't thank you enough!!! I'm not even sure I want to date her I just really want to be her friend, but I don't want to lose her as a friend and that's why I'm not sure about asking her if she wants to do something together. I don't have loads of friends so I don't want to lose any of them ideally!!!

But the way you say it I guess there is no problem asking her, I'm just way overthinking this. She's really cool and interesting so I also think she'll find me dull or won't want to do anything with me.

How do I make it sound as un date like as possibly? Because I want her to think we're just friends hanging out but I'm scared she'll think I'm asking her on a date. And what should we do as well? My best idea to date is going on a walk which always sounds so unoriginal lol.

If you can help again I would really appreciate it!!!
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Dunnig Kruger
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#10
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#10
Something involving a group of friends would be OK. Like a knockabout game of rounders / softball in the park. Or a game of doubles badminton.

Or maybe something non date like, such as her helping you buy a present for your sister or mum, eg picking out some clothing to buy them as a present from a charity shop. With you perhaps going on an instant 2nd date such as a tea and chat before you each go home.

Or maybe tell her that she seems like a sweet interesting girl and how would she feel about going for a smoothie and a chat with a sweet boy after school sometime?
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Anonymous #1
#11
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#11
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Something involving a group of friends would be OK. Like a knockabout game of rounders / softball in the park. Or a game of doubles badminton.

Or maybe something non date like, such as her helping you buy a present for your sister or mum, eg picking out some clothing to buy them as a present from a charity shop. With you perhaps going on an instant 2nd date such as a tea and chat before you each go home.

Or maybe tell her that she seems like a sweet interesting girl and how would she feel about going for a smoothie and a chat with a sweet boy after school sometime?
Haha these are good! But like we don't have any mutual friends so I always think a group activity would be near impossible to do. I like the sound of the third one though! Now I just have to ask her lol. Thank you so much
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