Make it More Footwear-ey !!

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the bear
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#1
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#1
as you are no doubt aware, today ( Saturday ) is National Croc Day ( the plastic shoes, not the knobbly reptiles :nope: )

so let us venture once more into the depths of the Cobblers' and make some well-fitting puns

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Two cowpokes find lurve on a Mountain which looks like a shoe


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Reality Check Toki the Dumdum harrysbar The_Lonely_Goatherd Good bloke Muttley79 nulli tertius chazwomaqAndrew97 Plantagenet Crown Fullofsurprises LiberOfLondon ecolierlondonmyst Sammylou40GlazJoinedup uberteknikPhoenixfeather99AngryJellyfish laurawattwinterscomingBlue_Cow RedTwisttoonervoustotalk Deggs_14 HRobson_BMCSinnoh SaDe7RogerOxonAnonymous1502 DrewskiQuasaParacosm The Usherette™ lyer in hellfyreMidge Bang Udder OrderProducktiveOndeKarelinaGreyWolfTooDr CoxPhantom 1517Dan0101026Soapusername5264250FV75mqb2766cambioTobelstienCoolBroStereoKjekjeSkittishNappLaserquestAleshabecausethenightOberonflyLovelyFoxProxyBuckHowlsHalfeti RoseWoooordabsolutelysproutMoonboChoc fanGhostladyCoolestMacyAmeliaLyndseyRsxgewSameeraClaudiaDaveoNeviBlackCatFlobroLaurenceAnonymous1502Guru JasonLego Men OnJoyfulGeekMarkovHardy_BtgHannaRufusSynergy~Medic WilVanessaCnightingalegendVersionsBecca216Mr WillyjellyRetreadicossummerberrychopinnocMesopotGolderzshortieTashFionaandDonkeymnotzetamfctinygirlBlueIndigoVioletTJ1997DaryaJoyAstraPhoenixRoseWannaCambioAsaYunoouser11235813cleanseBexKorrasmorrasajilemonadeteatreblebeefox houndbbyooserJolesJustaboutmeddadCute Kawaii ImperatorFatinespinningtopjoey srpugglet HellllppppScarletMillionsSir Rutlandtimespentjackpotu_w_DSKEdacba_w_HALLOONMickeyM&SpharmerS&FProperladFFFMehvijRam RYeoAeshaMarkWise G TinyPizzahomecounterPStevensAmeliab2PRich PCkentReading MumKing LouiswaxerAzureWindChlaminmate4DopticsDentaldreamsjustvisitedSocraticNikkiBHM365nm12345Leafysealonestercote1ojhungrysalBraindraindjinnster
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the bear
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#2
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#2
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_shoe_styles

http://www.acuratedman.com/shoe-terminology.html
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mnot
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#3
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#3
They haven’t got a shoe
Laces full of kings
Medium sliced loafers
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Joinedup
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#4
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#4
Sliders with Rosie - Laurie Lee

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the bear
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#5
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#5
(Original post by mnot)
They haven’t got a shoe
Laces full of kings
Medium sliced loafers
:woo: you are not the last to reach the Cobblers' mnot :ahee:

the people of Iceland are lovin' it

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Verðmætir viðskiptavinir,
vinsamlegast ekki þurrka þorskflökin á ofninum í búningsklefanum.
þeir draga til sín sveima flugna og hnúta. fuglar koma til að éta skordýrin.
fuglarnir valda alls konar vandamálum, og ráðast á gardínur með oddhvössum fótum.
Í síðustu viku sagði stóra Ketilbjörg mér frá því að dýrið dró fram nefhringinn.
Af hverju ekki að skilja þorskflökin eftir í móttökunni hjá stóru Þórstínu?
Hún er með sérstakan skáp til að þurrka alls konar sjávarfang.

Hallgrímur Tjörfi Hólmþórsso

Aðstoðarframkvæmdastjóri fiskþurrkunar og það


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Valued customers,
please do not dry your cod fillets on the changing room radiators.
they attract swarms of flies and gnats.
birds arrive to eat the insects.
the birds cause all sorts of problems, and attack the curtains with their pointy feet.
Last week big Ketilbjörg told me that a petrel pulled out her nose ring.
Why not leave your cod fillets at reception with big Þórstína ?
She has a special cupboard for drying all kinds of seafood.

Hallgrímur Tjörfi Hólmþórsso

Deputy Assistant Manager of fish drying and that
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the bear
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#6
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#6
(Original post by Joinedup)
Sliders with Rosie - Laurie Lee

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:woo: bless my sole ! :ahee:

are those your actual feet Sir J ? :holmes:

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BrainDrain
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#7
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#7
(Original post by the bear)
:woo: bless my sole ! :ahee:

are those your actual feet Sir J ? :holmes:

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I could heel you, I could mend your sole...I will even dye for you. No thanks I'll just take the laces.
Last edited by BrainDrain; 1 month ago
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the bear
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#8
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#8
(Original post by BrainDrain)
I could heel you, I could mend your sole...I could even dye for you. No thanks I'll just take the laces.
sorry Brain, i wear slip-ons :teehee:

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the bear
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#9
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#9
shoe shop is closing now

:wavey:

cu2moro
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nulli tertius
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#10
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#10
Made in Chelsea Boots

Lost in Spats

Pattens Lust for Clogs

A Yank in Oxfords
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Laurence010401
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#11
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#11
Oxford not Brookes
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The password for getting into the Oxford Uni branch of the KIngsman secret service



And here is something I may have shared in a previous pun thread, cant remember
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the bear
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#12
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#12
(Original post by nulli tertius)
Made in Chelsea Boots

Lost in Spats

Pattens Lust for Clogs

A Yank in Oxfords
:woo: bespoke punnage for the discerning client Sir Nulli ! :yay:

#4 is especially well polished :yep:

the people of Iceland are spilling their Brennivin :afraid:

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Herrar mínir,
annað kvöld munum við halda árlegt góðgerðar twerkathon fyrir dömurnar
í Magnus Magnusson líkamsræktarstöðinni.
Á þessu ári mun ágóðinn renna til öryggisráðgjafa næturklúbba í neyð.
Þessir frábæru félagar hafa verið skortir vegna lokunar.
Með hjálp okkar geta þeir hoppað til baka.
Ef þú vilt fylgjast með skemmtilegu sjónarspili úr næði fjarlægð skaltu
bara mæta með í móttökuna og eiga orð við Bergfríði stóru.
Hún er að ráða úrval af hernaðarlegum sjónbúnaði sem eftir eru frá þorskastríðunum.
Þeir fela í sér sjónauka, sjónauka, sjónauka og það.

Svanlaugur Björgúlfur Sigursteinsson

Staðgengill aðstoðarfulltrúa við dömudansathugun og það


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Gentlemen,
tomorrow evening we shall be holding our annual charity twerkathon
for the ladies at the Magnus Magnusson fitness center.
This year the proceeds will go to nightclub security consultants in need.
These splendid fellows have been left destitute by lockdown.
With our help they can bounce back.
If you would like to observe the entertaining spectacle from a discreet distance
just pop along to reception and have a word with big Bergfríður.
She is hiring out a selection of military grade optical devices left over from the Cod Wars.
They include telescopes, binoculars, periscopes and that.

Svanlaugur Björgúlfur Sigursteinsson

Deputy Assistant Commissioner of lady dance observation and that
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Muttley79
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#13
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#13
Rubber sole

Star Wars: the espadrilles strike back

Star Wars: the return of the jodhpurs/jellies

The galoshes, the brogues and the ugg boots

The loafers, the waders and the wellingtons

Gone with the winkle pickers
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Fullofsurprises
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#14
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#14
Let us not forget Phil Collins and his major hit, "I Can Feel it Shuffling in the Footwear Tonight".
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the bear
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#15
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#15
(Original post by Muttley79)
Rubber sole

Star Wars: the espadrilles strike back

Star Wars: the return of the jodhpurs/jellies

The galoshes, the brogues and the ugg boots

The loafers, the waders and the wellingtons

Gone with the winkle pickers
:rave: thank you for cobbling these together Your Ladyship :girl:

#1 is very impactful :yep:

the people of Iceland are experiencing a magnitude 7.5 mirthquake :afraid:

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Dömur,
annað kvöld munum við halda okkar árlega góðgerðar twerkathon
í líkamsræktarstöðinni Magnus Magnusson.
Á þessu ári mun ágóðinn renna til öryggisráðgjafa næturklúbba í neyð.
Þessir frábæru félagar hafa verið skortir vegna lokunar.
Með hjálp okkar geta þeir hoppað til baka.
Ef þú vilt taka þátt í dansinum skaltu bara mæta
í móttökuna og eiga orð við Bergfríði stóru.
Aðgangseyrir er 18,72 krónur, sem felur í sér hvalasúpusmoothie og disk af Hákarli.
Ef þú ert ekki með eigin jógabuxur geturðu fengið lánað par hjá stóru B.
Hún gerir þau heima úr tröllahúð og lycra ™.
Hnapparnir eru ósviknar úlfstennur.

Svanlaugur Björgúlfur Sigursteinsson

Staðgengill aðstoðaryfirlögregluþjóns í dömudansum og því


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Ladies,
tomorrow evening we shall be holding our annual charity twerkathon
at the Magnus Magnusson fitness center.
This year the proceeds will go to nightclub security consultants in need.
These splendid fellows have been left destitute by lockdown.
With our help they can bounce back.
If you would like to take part in the dancing just pop along to reception
and have a word with big Bergfríður.
The entry fee is krónur 18.72,
which includes a whale blubber smoothie and a plate of Hákarl.
If you do not have your own yoga pants you can borrow a pair from big B.
She makes them at home from troll skin and lycra™.
The buttons are genuine wolf teeth.

Svanlaugur Björgúlfur Sigursteinsson

Deputy Assistant Commissioner of lady dances and that
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the bear
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#16
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#16
(Original post by Fullofsurprises)
Let us not forget Phil Collins and his major hit, "I Can Feel it Shuffling in the Footwear Tonight".
:rave: good one Your Ladyship :girl:

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the bear
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#17
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#17
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it is Valentine's Day 1900. some soft-focus schoolgirls are enjoying an al fresco lunch by a billabong. after they have eaten they play their traditional game. they take it in turns to throw a lightweight shoe up into the branches of a gumtree. then the boldest girl has to climb up and retrieve it.
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Joinedup
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#18
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#18
(Original post by the bear)
:woo: bless my sole ! :ahee:

are those your actual feet Sir J ? :holmes:

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Just a random pair I found on wikimedia...


---

Metal Clogs - Judas Priest
https://youtu.be/QcURhfhPJiM
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