I’m sad and don’t know how to move on

Hi,
So I’ve known a guy for over 5 years. We had sex during the first two meetups. But then I went back home to another country. But said to him that I would love to meet up again. I texted him every 4-5 months. Then after 2 years I told him that I was coming but he told me that he had a gf. However, after a year he texted me back and said sorry for the last time and asked me about my life. Then during another 2 years he was texting me and telling me things about his life. And complimenting my pics. But he had such a habit to text me after 4 or 6 months time. It wasn’t really regular. He was just appearing and then disappearing. Then after 5 years we finally met again. Before meeting he told me that he was looking forward to meeting me. When we met we had drinks. He told me that he’s currently living with 2 female students as they temporary live with him before they find different place. And it was really surprising for me. While I just came to the city solely to see him. And I told him that there isn’t anything to do here and it was boring for me. As I’ve been to this city many times. Our meetup was nice but he didn’t initiate anything. He hasn’t told me that he wants to date me, etc. Then after our meetup he texted me whether I was back home safely and that he would like to meet again if I want it. I texted him that of course I wanted to see him again. And asked whether he wanted to see me. After that I mostly initiate texts. Then he texted me and on which days he was free. He told me 3 days when he was free before my return home. I texted him during his free day and at 6 in the evening he said that yes he was free to meet up. We met at 8 in the evening and went to eat out. When we were eating we were discussing our lives, our jobs. And he told me why he hasn’t settled down yet. But I’ve understood that now he wanted to settled down. In the end he told me that I was a negative person and why I was too awkward. I told him that they I am. Whilst to be honest I felt that somehow our meetup was really forced and that he would love to be somewhere else. And he only agreed to meet up out of courtesy. Then he asked me whether I know the phrase: “I see you when I see you”. I told him no. He in the end told me that phrase. After I found out the meaning of that phrase I’ve become really sad. As it was a farewell phrase. So I don’t know what I said wrong, maybe he lost the interest when he saw me again.
I want to see him again. And I’m really sad that I visited this city without any meaningful results as the only reason I came was him. And I don’t know what to do now.

Reply 1

londonmyst

All that you can do is decide to focus upon your future ambitions and the lifestyle that makes you happy, not the past. :smile:

Choose to take the life experience and use it to avoid simialr experiences in the future.
Change your dating dealbreakers so that you rule out all incompatible guys like him and only give attention to guys you finf attractive who share your ambitions & values.

Is your general attitude to life negative? :confused:

Do you give lots of people first impressions of you that lead them to believe that you are awkward or desperate to find anyone to be a friend, source of social interaction or a hookup/casual fwb arrangement?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by londonmyst

All that you can do is decide to focus upon your future ambitions and the lifestyle that makes you happy, not the past. :smile:

No, my general attitude towards life is not negative. When we talked maybe I complained a little bit that I was bored here and talked about my life and that not many things went according to my plan. I was maybe awkward too. So all of these things made me really sad that I’ve made such impression on him.

Reply 3

miniminx3310

Original post by Anonymous

you're allowed to feel a certain way and express it. He sounds like he's changed tbh. And there must be a reason he's so restless about settling down huh?
I'd focus on yourself and forget him, its easy to start fantasising about the way someone is if you haven't met them in a while - you only remember the good bits and how they are as a whole fades. Its also probably the case he's on his best behaviour each time you've met as its infrequent ahhahah

I am in a similar position with someone I met that lives v far away from me. So PM me if you're sad ).:

I’m sad and don’t know how to move on

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you