Found out I’m pregnant at 18 with my Muslim boyfriends baby

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Me and my boyfriend who is a Pakistani Muslim have been secretly dating for a few months now (I know this is bad), we’ve known each other for a few years, I’m a Christian. We’ve been sexually active but have used protection every single time, but now I’m pregnant and I don’t know what to do. My parents don’t know that I’ve ever had sex or even had a thing with a guy, and he is Muslim. I feel so stupid and don’t know where to even start and who to even tell, I don’t know if I could ever even build the courage to get an abortion so I don’t know what to do. I’m scared both families are gunna disown us or do something even worse. I’ve just started Uni as well. I never ever thought something like this would ever happen to me. I’m just so scared to even think about what to expect, how everything will turn out, will I be dumped, will I become a single mother, I just feel like dying right now. Does anyone know what I can do, or any tips/advice, has anyone here experienced teen pregnancy?
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Chrisericson
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#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Me and my boyfriend who is a Pakistani Muslim have been secretly dating for a few months now (I know this is bad), we’ve known each other for a few years, I’m a Christian. We’ve been sexually active but have used protection every single time, but now I’m pregnant and I don’t know what to do. My parents don’t know that I’ve ever had sex or even had a thing with a guy, and he is Muslim. I feel so stupid and don’t know where to even start and who to even tell, I don’t know if I could ever even build the courage to get an abortion so I don’t know what to do. I’m scared both families are gunna disown us or do something even worse. I’ve just started Uni as well. I never ever thought something like this would ever happen to me. I’m just so scared to even think about what to expect, how everything will turn out, will I be dumped, will I become a single mother, I just feel like dying right now. Does anyone know what I can do, or any tips/advice, has anyone here experienced teen pregnancy?
I rocemmend you tell some1 you really trust and know they wont do any harm to you and go from there...or ask the man if he wants to marry you and from there try getting your parents to agree and tell them to do the wedding asap if they agree
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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(Original post by Chrisericson)
I rocemmend you tell some1 you really trust and know they wont do any harm to you and go from there...or ask the man if he wants to marry you and from there try getting your parents to agree and tell them to do the wedding asap if they agree
Thank you, are you Muslim?
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becausethenight
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#4
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I’m so sorry to hear this has happened to you :hugs:

A pregnancy is a lot to deal with and talking it through with someone you trust is a good first step. I’d definitely speak to your GP or a sexual health clinic as they can give you advice on what to do if you want to end or continue with the pregnancy and get you in touch with sources of support for both situations.

If you can, I’d speak to your partner as well ASAP, as his reaction may influence what you wish to do, and it’s good that he knows. You don’t have to tell your parents if you don’t want to, but it may help as a source of support, and you may need to if you continue with the pregnancy for obvious reasons. I wouldn’t tell your parents if you’re worried that doing so may put you in danger at all.

There are also excellent charities than can provide support, with a good list here https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/support/teenage-pregnancy/

Wishing you all the best with whatever route you decide to go down and I hope you can find support from those around you.
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becausethenight
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#5
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#5
(Original post by Chrisericson)
I rocemmend you tell some1 you really trust and know they wont do any harm to you and go from there...or ask the man if he wants to marry you and from there try getting your parents to agree and tell them to do the wedding asap if they agree
Why on Earth would OP need to get married, or need their parents to agree to them marrying someone?
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Chrisericson
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#6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you, are you Muslim?
Yes a revert
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Anonymous #1
#7
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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(Original post by becausethenight)
I’m so sorry to hear this has happened to you :hugs:

A pregnancy is a lot to deal with and talking it through with someone you trust is a good first step. I’d definitely speak to your GP or a sexual health clinic as they can give you advice on what to do if you want to end or continue with the pregnancy and get you in touch with sources of support for both situations.

If you can, I’d speak to your partner as well ASAP, as his reaction may influence what you wish to do, and it’s good that he knows. You don’t have to tell your parents if you don’t want to, but it may help as a source of support, and you may need to if you continue with the pregnancy for obvious reasons. I wouldn’t tell your parents if you’re worried that doing so may put you in danger at all.

There are also excellent charities than can provide support, with a good list here https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/support/teenage-pregnancy/

Wishing you all the best with whatever route you decide to go down and I hope you can find support from those around you.
Thank you so much, it means a lot.
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Anonymous #2
#8
Report 4 weeks ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
Me and my boyfriend who is a Pakistani Muslim have been secretly dating for a few months now (I know this is bad), we’ve known each other for a few years, I’m a Christian. We’ve been sexually active but have used protection every single time, but now I’m pregnant and I don’t know what to do. My parents don’t know that I’ve ever had sex or even had a thing with a guy, and he is Muslim. I feel so stupid and don’t know where to even start and who to even tell, I don’t know if I could ever even build the courage to get an abortion so I don’t know what to do. I’m scared both families are gunna disown us or do something even worse. I’ve just started Uni as well. I never ever thought something like this would ever happen to me. I’m just so scared to even think about what to expect, how everything will turn out, will I be dumped, will I become a single mother, I just feel like dying right now. Does anyone know what I can do, or any tips/advice, has anyone here experienced teen pregnancy?
honestly im a pakistani muslim myself, and ngl this sounds as scary to me as it is scary for you. Did you tell ur bf? if so what did he say? because honestly I would understand his terror if he had to tell his parents, no offence
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Anonymous #1
#9
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
honestly im a pakistani muslim myself, and ngl this sounds as scary to me as it is scary for you. Did you tell ur bf? if so what did he say? because honestly I would understand his terror if he had to tell his parents, no offence
I eventually did tell my boyfriend, he has the right to know, he was just as scared and nervous as me, we were both bricking it. When I told him, he wasn’t angry per se, he was just in disbelief and then the “parents finding out” struck him too, he didn’t say much in the moment, he was just shocked. We built up the courage to tell his parents together as we felt that was the right and most respectful thing to do. The tension was very thick, obviously his parents were very mad, (his parents both cried), they were more so mad at him than me/the both of us as they raised him and thought that he should of known better, but they were very wise about the whole thing afterwards. They advised us to get married and to keep the baby as it would be haram to abort etc. They explained to me that marrying him would be alright in Islam as I am a Christian woman and he is a Muslim man etc. (I understand it is still frowned upon). Only my boyfriends immediate family know about the pregnancy and it won’t be announced to the rest of the family until after we marry because of obvious reasons, gossip, reputation etc. Which I completely understand. I also told my own family and they were definitely disappointed but came to terms with it. Both families co-opted in deciding to share childcare duties once the baby is born as they still want us to continue with our studies. There’s nothing really much to it. But I still do feel like a disappointment to his family, even though they’re civil towards me I still feel as if they hate me, or as if I ruined their sons life and his and their reputation. I’m just focusing on staying healthy for me and the baby right now, and trying to get through my first year of Uni too, while pregnant.

All in all, it was a terror, but we got through it, I’m just really grateful things didn’t turn out very badly. And grateful that I’m still able to be with my boyfriend or may I say, near-future-Husband.

Are you a man?
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Anonymous #2
#10
Report 3 weeks ago
#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
I eventually did tell my boyfriend, he has the right to know, he was just as scared and nervous as me, we were both bricking it. When I told him, he wasn’t angry per se, he was just in disbelief and then the “parents finding out” struck him too, he didn’t say much in the moment, he was just shocked. We built up the courage to tell his parents together as we felt that was the right and most respectful thing to do. The tension was very thick, obviously his parents were very mad, (his parents both cried), they were more so mad at him than me/the both of us as they raised him and thought that he should of known better, but they were very wise about the whole thing afterwards. They advised us to get married and to keep the baby as it would be haram to abort etc. They explained to me that marrying him would be alright in Islam as I am a Christian woman and he is a Muslim man etc. (I understand it is still frowned upon). Only my boyfriends immediate family know about the pregnancy and it won’t be announced to the rest of the family until after we marry because of obvious reasons, gossip, reputation etc. Which I completely understand. I also told my own family and they were definitely disappointed but came to terms with it. Both families co-opted in deciding to share childcare duties once the baby is born as they still want us to continue with our studies. There’s nothing really much to it. But I still do feel like a disappointment to his family, even though they’re civil towards me I still feel as if they hate me, or as if I ruined their sons life and his and their reputation. I’m just focusing on staying healthy for me and the baby right now, and trying to get through my first year of Uni too, while pregnant.

All in all, it was a terror, but we got through it, I’m just really grateful things didn’t turn out very badly. And grateful that I’m still able to be with my boyfriend or may I say, near-future-Husband.

Are you a man?
nah im a female so i understand, it can be counted as a dissapointment but trust me once the baby arrives, they're going to cherish your baby and all that dissapointment will vanish if you continue to just be nice and kinda uh meet their expections. Overall im very happy for you guys, many congrats!!
keep us updated!!
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Anonymous #1
#11
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
nah im a female so i understand, it can be counted as a dissapointment but trust me once the baby arrives, they're going to cherish your baby and all that dissapointment will vanish if you continue to just be nice and kinda uh meet their expections. Overall im very happy for you guys, many congrats!!
keep us updated!!
🥺 Thank you so much! I truly hope so, I just hope to build a good relationship with them. But I will definitely keep everyone updated 💕
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guskirkphatd1ck
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#12
Report 3 weeks ago
#12
(Original post by anonymous)
me and my boyfriend who is a pakistani muslim have been secretly dating for a few months now (i know this is bad), we’ve known each other for a few years, i’m a christian. We’ve been sexually active but have used protection every single time, but now i’m pregnant and i don’t know what to do. My parents don’t know that i’ve ever had sex or even had a thing with a guy, and he is muslim. I feel so stupid and don’t know where to even start and who to even tell, i don’t know if i could ever even build the courage to get an abortion so i don’t know what to do. I’m scared both families are gunna disown us or do something even worse. I’ve just started uni as well. I never ever thought something like this would ever happen to me. I’m just so scared to even think about what to expect, how everything will turn out, will i be dumped, will i become a single mother, i just feel like dying right now. Does anyone know what i can do, or any tips/advice, has anyone here experienced teen pregnancy?
allah is not happy with u
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Anonymous #1
#13
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#13
(Original post by guskirkphatd1ck)
allah is not happy with u
I understand that, I hope to repent and seek forgiveness from him.
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Anonymous #3
#14
Report 2 weeks ago
#14
(Original post by guskirkphatd1ck)
allah is not happy with u
Not the point, although OP and co made a sin. We're supposed to be understanding and encourage them to seek forgiveness. Not bash them with religious admonition

(Original post by Anonymous)
I understand that, I hope to repent and seek forgiveness from him.
Read more into Islam sis! May Allah make it easy for all of us 🙏
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Anonymous #1
#15
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
Read more into Islam sis! May Allah make it easy for all of us 🙏
Thank you so much! 🥺
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Anonymous #2
#16
Report 2 weeks ago
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(Original post by Curious mind)
Why do people date Pakistanis anyway - they have small package lol
talking from experience?
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