Is it sexist to offer to carry a woman’s heavy bags etc?

Is it sexist to offer to carry a woman’s heavy bags, open doors for them etc?

If you’re doing it to be polite or help her out, no.

If you’re doing it cause you think she can’t manage on her own, yes.

Reply 2

username5706823

I won't call it sexist, just chivalrous!

Reply 3

flamingolover

Depends on the situation for me. For example if my bag was heavy but I was capable of carrying it and wasn’t struggling then I would find it rude if someone offered to carry it but if I was struggling with it I’d like help. That goes for everyone though if I saw a guy struggling with a bag I’d probably try to help!

Reply 4

KA_P

Volunteer Team, Clearing and Applications Advisor

Original post by Anonymous

Is it sexist to offer to carry a woman’s heavy bags, open doors for them etc?

No. A woman can ask another woman if they want help, just as a human can ask another human if they want help carrying something. It's manners. A woman can ask the man the same thing. Sexism is when one sex is disadvantaged or discriminated against unjustly - for an accurate definition use Google.

Reply 5

londonmyst

No.
It is very considerate and helpful to offer.

Reply 6

KA_P

Volunteer Team, Clearing and Applications Advisor

Original post by flamingolover

Ooh yeah I get that. Like if it was only one bag then I might be a bit offended (tho I think it depends on how they ask and their attitude) but if I was carrying multiple bags and they were only offering to share the load I'd be fine.

Reply 7

Reality Check

Original post by Anonymous

Is it sexist to offer to carry a woman’s heavy bags, open doors for them etc?

Of course it's not - it's polite and good form. Only the most militant and crass radical feminist would object to a man offering to carry a heavy bag for them so long as the offer is done in a good-natured, and non patronising way. There's a huge difference between offering in a kind and relaxed way to take a lady's heavy bag and making a bit of a song and dance about 'relieving the fair maiden of such a heavy burden, she being so weak and defenceless that she couldn't possibly manage it herself'.

Do you see the difference between the two approaches? One is chivalrous, good-natured and likely to make a good impression; the other is likely to result in the bag being whacked over your head. A lot of it is to do with a lightness of touch, natural manners and a certain graciousness, rather than doing a 'Woman - heavy bag - MUST CARRY' mentality.

Reply 8

username5349620

i wish a guy would pick up heavy bags for me, but they never do 😭

Reply 9

artful_lounger

Universities Forum Helper

If you only offer to help women with heavy bags but not others, then yes, you might need to examine exactly why that is. If you offer to help anyone in such a circumstance then it's not an issue, clearly. Same with other activities. The latter is politeness, the former is you acting in a different way towards people of a particular gender than to others, which is what sexism is about (note that this goes both ways in terms of "positive" activities performed only for one gender, as well as negative biases etc).

Reply 10

username5445420

Original post by Anonymous

Is it sexist to offer to carry a woman’s heavy bags, open doors for them etc?

No.

Reply 11

the bear

yes they are quite capable of carrying their own stuff :yep:

Reply 12

flamingolover

Original post by KA_P

Yeah same!

Reply 13

Zarek

It depends on two things, firstly if there is a genuine need for help and/or secondary whether they appreciate chivalrous gestures of this type. Weighing these things up takes judgement. Usually a well intentioned offer of help will be fine but without an assumption that women need their heavy bags carried for them

Reply 14

meymey:)

Original post by Anonymous

Is it sexist to offer to carry a woman’s heavy bags, open doors for them etc?

It depends on your attitude. If your doing it politely then it’s just chivalry which is good however of your doing it in a patronising way and acting like she’s incapable of carrying the bag herself then it’s quite sexist

But generally speaking if you’re being polite then it’s definitely a good thing and as a girl I wouldn’t mind if someone helped me out like that.