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How should I deal with my mum?

I'm 21, I got ill when I was younger which led to depression and comfort eating, I am a bigger woman but I'm happy with how I look right now and im in the middle of trying to look for my first job, but all my mum seems to talk about is " you'll never get a job looking like that,...no man will want you, lose all the weight and your life will be perfect" it's really hurting me, I'm trying to finally move foward with my life and right now would like some support from my mum, as its very overwhelming searching for your first job but all she does is shoot me down and dis me,...I'm actually starting to resent her....im not really in a position to move out...what should I do?

Reply 1

yellowbuttercup

That's really tough on you and I'm sorry you're going through that ):
I hope you don't mind me saying, but it sounds like she has some quite toxic traits. Often this can be quite common in mothers because they express their own feelings about themselves / stuff they wish they had done onto (usually) their daughters.
You could try and have a conversation about it and let her know that it's bothering you and it's not okay, but I know this might not be an easy/possible thing to do.
Is there anyone you could talk to about this? A sibling or friend?
Sorry that I can't be much help

I wish you the best, God bless <3

Reply 2

Winona03

Ask her to sit down and have a serious chat. tell her that her comments hurt and it is disheartening rather than encouraging. Mums always want what they think is best for you so I am sure she has good intentions but let her know that when she phrases things in a hurtful way eg. 'no man will want you' it is hurting you. Maybe ask her to phrase it in a more considerate way such as 'exercise is good for your physical and mental health and I would love to see you getting into shape!'. your mental health is just as important as physical so please address this! Best wishes and good luck with the job hunting (I'm sure you are beautiful just the way you are) :smile: